“I personally let the short video destroy my son”: The three things parents regret the most, and they must be kept away from their children

Some time ago, I got together with my friends and naturally the topic of parenting came up. While chatting, someone brought up a topic: \”After all these years of being mothers, what is the most regretful thing you have done to your children?\” Everyone started talking. Some said they regretted most that when they took their children shopping when they were young, they accidentally bumped their foreheads on the corner of a table in a shopping mall because they were carelessly playing with their mobile phones, leaving scars for life. Some said they most regretted not guiding their son in time when he was playing on his mobile phone, which resulted in the child being addicted to games and his grades plummeting. Others said that they most regretted being too strict with their children in the past and being too demanding in their studies, so that their children now have a tendency to suffer from depression… The sharing from my friends made me feel the same way. As parents, our greatest wish is for our children to grow up happily and healthily. However, during the parenting process, various problems and conflicts will inevitably arise. What we have to do is to take precautions before they happen, and be aware of and avoid these risks in a timely manner. Therefore, no matter how generous parents are, they must never let their children touch the following three things, otherwise they may really destroy them! The first type of things that cannot be touched are things that can provide short-term pleasure. The most typical one is short videos. I once saw a post from a high school teacher online. She expressed worry that in the past two years, she has encountered an unprecedented disaster in the ten years of teaching – short videos and short movies on mobile phones are quickly destroying a group of students with middle and lower grades, and individual top students are also rapidly sinking. . The teacher mentioned that she had a student who had excellent grades and was ranked high in his grade. It was not a problem to get into a prestigious school. Who would have thought that while studying at home, he became obsessed with watching short videos and became addicted to them every day, to the point where he forgot to eat and sleep. After classes resumed, he was still unable to extricate himself, and his grades naturally dropped to the bottom. In this regard, the teacher regretted it endlessly, but there was nothing he could do. In fact, watching short videos is essentially a behavioral addiction. We know that doing so is a waste of time, but we simply cannot resist the pleasure brought by dopamine in the brain. As a result, a person will enter a vicious cycle of \”watching short videos – generating pleasure – not satisfied – watching longer\”, thus falling deeper and deeper into addiction. What is really scary is the series of irreversible harm caused by this. On the surface, when children become accustomed to happy stimulation in just a few dozen seconds, they will become \”unable to sit still, impatient, unable to concentrate on reading, and unable to think independently for a long time.\” From a deeper level, it can lead to changes in a person\’s brain structure and functional degradation; slow response, emotional numbness, and fear of social interaction; a surge in psychological problems such as depression and anxiety… So this is why watching too many short videos will make children stupid. , become stupid, and have a worse personality. Its impact on children will be devastating. Because of this, we must not take any chances and think that it will be fine if our children watch short videos for a while. As everyone knows, the instant happiness that can be obtained easily has a huge price hidden behind it. As a saying on the Internet says: \”None of us can predict how the world will develop in the future. But the only thing that is certain is that children who have exhausted their concentration and ability to delay gratification prematurely will find it difficult to be competent in any learning.\” and work.” A nutritious short video is comparable to poison.Taste. Please be sure not to let children come into contact with such spiritual opium. The second type of things that cannot be touched are things that involve safety red lines. Safety issues actually run through a child\’s life. Statistics show that accidental injuries are the leading cause of death for children and adolescents aged 0-14 years old. Many tragedies are caused by adults\’ carelessness and luck. Therefore, when children are young, parents need to carefully monitor all aspects of food, clothing, housing and transportation to ensure that dangerous things are not done. When children enter adolescence, what parents need to do more is to guide them away from harmful friends and garbage people. My cousin who is a psychology teacher in middle school once told us such a thing. There is a boy in her school who has a high IQ and is very smart. He gets good grades in every exam, but he is very naughty and has a very flamboyant personality. During the summer vacation of his second year in junior high school, he met a few gangsters in the society. They secretly arranged to drink together and then ride a motorcycle. As a result, he seriously injured a pedestrian and caused a big disaster. Later, the boy was severely criticized and educated by the police, and the matter was brought to school. In the end, his original qualification for admission to a key high school was canceled and he was punished. I remember an education expert once said: \”The biggest danger in adolescence is safety issues.\” Children at this stage have an increasingly obvious need to persist in themselves and maintain their individuality. They are more influenced by their peers and are more impulsive, rebellious and rebellious than when they were young. stubborn. Therefore, as parents, on the one hand, we must teach our children to ingrain the awareness of \”safety first, protect yourself\” into their hearts; on the other hand, we must tell our children the truth of \”being close to red makes you red, and being close to ink makes you black\”, and encourage them to be more and more excellent. And associate with positive people. Only in this way can children stay away from risks and grow up stably. The third kind of things that cannot be touched are things outside the scope of one\’s own abilities. In summary, it includes two meanings: don’t accept what you can’t bear, and don’t enjoy what you shouldn’t enjoy. The so-called unbearable is all the efforts that deviate from the law of growth – learning to walk at half a year old, learning to read at one year old, starting to teach all kinds of junior high school knowledge just after entering elementary school… The main motto is \”Everything should be done early and win at the starting line.\” However, any training must comply with the law of growth to be effective, otherwise it will be counterproductive. On Zhihu, a netizen shared this story: He has a junior student whose math scores have always been the best in his grade from elementary school to junior high school. When he was in the fourth grade, he participated in the \”Hope Cup\” mathematics competition held in the first grade of junior high school and won the first prize, which caused a sensation in the whole school. However, this netizen revealed that the reason why the junior is so good at mathematics is not because he has extraordinary talent, but because his father forced him to study early. By the time he reached the second grade of junior high school, other students gradually caught up, and he was horrified to find that his advantage in mathematics had disappeared. After entering high school, more and more classmates surpassed their juniors. He couldn\’t accept this, and because of his unbalanced mentality, he simply broke the pot, and his performance seriously deteriorated. In the end, he failed miserably in the college entrance examination and was not admitted to his ideal college. In modern chicken baby education, it is a very common phenomenon to pull the seedlings to encourage them to grow. For most children, the things they are taught in advance often do not match their mental and ability development levels. As a result, the child cannot bear, the result will only crush them. There is such a set of data that makes people feel sad: the \”2022 National Depression Blue Book\” shows that the current prevalence rate of depression among adolescents in our country is 15% to 20%, half of which are school students; at the same time, social surveys have shown that academic performance Stress is the leading cause of suicide among primary and secondary school students. I am reminded of the famous saying of the thinker Rousseau: \”Nature wants children to be like children before they become adults. If we disrupt this order, we will produce premature fruits that are neither full nor sweet, and will soon become It will rot.\” Facts have repeatedly proven that blind chickens who blindly pursue speed but deviate from the child\’s growth pattern will not only fail to help the child get ahead of others, but will run on the road of cheating the child. The so-called things that should not be enjoyed refer to the temptations of getting something for nothing. There is a saying that goes well: If you want to wear a crown, you must bear its weight. Those fortunes gained through luck will eventually backfire. For example, Fan Xiaoqin, a boy who became popular because he looked like a rich man. At the beginning, when faced with the olive branches offered by various commercial companies, his father made a choice without hesitation: \”I don\’t care who he is, as long as it is good for me, I will agree to whatever he asks his son to do. If it’s beneficial, I’ll refuse.” In this way, Fan Xiaoqin left school and became an Internet celebrity. He quickly became a cash cow for the company, appearing on the catwalks. However, the good times did not last long. After the traffic dissipated, he was quickly fired from the company and sadly returned to his hometown. Although this child who had been in the spotlight briefly experienced the peak of life, the price was a lifelong gap and an insurmountable academic gap compared with his peers. Standing in the clouds is just an illusion. Fan Xiaoqin\’s ending is disappointing. As a parent, you must tell your children that although fame and fortune are worth pursuing, behind any glamor is real hard work and dedication. And all the gifts given by fate have their prices secretly marked. So, don’t dream of a koi girl and hope that pie will fall from the sky. Because we should not want, nor can we afford, free luck. Educator Suhomlinsky once said: \”The whole secret of educational skills lies in how to care for children. Without love, there is no education.\” It is actually a great test to care for children and keep them away from harm and grow up smoothly. A matter of parental wisdom. Only by being a thoughtful person on the road of parenting and improving our own knowledge and awareness can we protect our children from growing up more comprehensively.