I played some tricks and my husband turned from cell phone cancer to child slave

Every day, countless mothers ask questions in the background – \”How can I make my husband put down his mobile phone and have a baby immediately?\” Well, this is a good question, and I am also looking for the answer. I want to say, who doesn’t have a mobile phone slave? I often laugh at myself in a joking way to Mr. Liu who is crazy about using mobile phones: \”I might as well make a mobile phone!\” Well, that\’s right, my husband and father are not bad at all. But sometimes, Mr. Uh-huh, who never leaves his cell phone: \”Husband, come here and help me hold Ding Dong.\” \”Yeah.\” \”Why haven\’t you come yet?\” \”Uh-huh.\” \”What are you doing?\” ?!” “Ah, oh, what?” There is no doubt that every time he is absent-minded and answers um ah ah, he must be immersed in the intimate contact with the mobile phone again. When I think about how busy I am while you are still scrolling through your phone leisurely, my nameless fire bursts out, and my complaints and orders are aimed at him like a machine gun. Although Mr. Liu would respond immediately after I exploded, it was obvious that he was forced to do so rather than enjoy it. I put all the responsibility on the third party in his heart – the mobile phone. After scratching my head countless times, I even went to the toilet to think of ways to deal with this third party in the hands of my husband. Finally, compared to before, Mr. Liu, thanks to my \”transformation\”, is now a generally competent nanny. He would help change Dingdang\’s bottom and diapers, help me put Dingdang to sleep after I finished feeding him milk at night, play games and read picture books with him, and take the child with him during evening walks. Especially after Dingdang turned one year old and could walk, shout, act coquettishly and act cute, he gradually entered the role and participated in his son\’s growth with joy from the bottom of his heart. He was considered a slave father who had just passed the passing line. . So occasionally when he is obsessed with his mobile phone, I turn a blind eye. After all, to be fair, there are times when I have to hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. I think the core concern of most mothers who want their husbands to put down their mobile phones is: How can they make their husbands actively and happily participate in family life and parenting? As a mother who has semi-successfully reformed her child\’s father (the revolution has not yet fully succeeded, I still need to work hard), I can share a few tips of my own: 1. Stop complaining, communicate sincerely and think from someone else\’s perspective, which is the only way to connect hearts. The only channel Every time I see Mr. Liu reluctantly being ordered by me to take care of the baby, I wonder why he is on pins and needles when I find it so enjoyable to spend time with my baby. I want to have a good discussion with him, why don’t you have the natural joy of being a father when you are raising a baby? But every time he treats me like \”I don\’t have any, you are overthinking\”. Later, late one night, I saw that he was in a good mood. When I mentioned this matter, I felt sad: \”I know you don\’t want to talk about this matter, but your behavior and attitude make me feel very sad. I don\’t know what I did wrong.\” , I feel powerless.\” Seeing that I felt aggrieved, Mr. Liu actually answered me seriously: \”Every time I want to do something for my son, my wife complains to me most of the time. Maybe you haven\’t noticed it yourself, but since you had Dingdang, you No longer like my wife, but more like my leader, who has many demands and orders on me, but at the same time I am not satisfied with my efforts. No father really doesn\’t love his children. It\’s just mothers who think we don\’t love our children. \”I was stunned and began to reflect. Indeed, every time he wanted to get involved, I often denied his efforts because he was \’clumsy\’ and \’didn\’t understand parenting\’, and there were endless complaints and accusations. And every time I asked Mr. Liu to help me take care of the children, She always sets up the role of a \’blaming wife\’ for herself, giving emotional and complaining orders to her about what he should and shouldn\’t do. The consequence of this is that it completely suppresses his enthusiasm for participating in child care, and even later completely Resistance. After that sincere communication with him, we both realized the problem. I hope that he can take on the role of father more proactively and actively, and he hopes that I can return to my true nature as a wife in a gentler and more tolerant way. Marriage problems If the problem is solved, it will definitely not be unilateral. Sincere communication and empathy are the only channels for mutual understanding. 2. Mom, please let go of your \’parenting\’ authority and give dad more applause and encouragement. Following the previous point, like As Mr. Liu complained, after giving birth, I relied on myself to read a few more parenting books, and gradually took over the absolute power of parenting. Thinking back, how many times he laughed and changed his son\’s diapers, I would eventually dislike him Clumsy, let him cool off and go into battle himself… After that communication, I began to change my attitude. When he actively or passively participates in parenting, no matter whether he does well or not, I will praise him with a little exaggeration: \”Husband, I think you are very handsome when you are concentrating on taking care of the baby.\” \”Thanks to you, otherwise I wouldn\’t know what to do if the baby was like that just now.\” Don\’t feel disgusted, men need a sense of accomplishment and admiration. In addition, Encouragement from the child will also make the father feel the child\’s need and affirmation for him. For example, after Dingdang recently learned to walk and talk, he couldn\’t reach something. When he asked him who would get it, he replied in a sweet voice: Dad, it\’s still useful. His eyes signaled his father. Oh my god, Mr. Liu was so relieved immediately. In his words, he felt that his family image instantly became taller. So, for those small errors and bugs, just ignore them automatically. Dad\’s occasional mistakes, There is no need to make such a fuss that you want to revoke your father\’s license. 3. Knowing how to show weakness will make you feel physically and mentally comfortable. I know that many mothers are tomboys, just like me before, who always like to show a strong side in front of their husbands: \”You\’re tired. Take a rest. I can take care of the child.\” \”It doesn\’t matter. I\’ll take care of the child.\” In fact, they are invisibly rejecting the husband\’s participation, showing that \”taking care of the child is my sole responsibility.\” When I was a dog, I had a glassy heart again, and I blamed my husband for not helping me. I deserved it! Later, after some prodding from my friends, I finally got the point – men are all sympathetic to women. Don\’t pretend to be a tomboy, put down your habitual commanding tone, and occasionally say… The husband showed weakness and acted coquettishly, but it still worked for them. I used this trick later, such as playing games with my children. I said: \”Mom doesn\’t know how to do this. Dad must be very powerful. Let\’s go and play with him together.\” \”Throwing the problem to her husband created an opportunity for the father and son to get along. AgainFor example, I pretended to be very tired (I was really tired) and said to Mr. Liu: \”Husband, I am so tired that I have no strength at all. I am so afraid that I will die suddenly.\” Mr. Liu looked at me pitifully and after helping with the massage , and took the initiative to take care of the baby and asked me to have a good sleep. So I accepted this good intention, and when I woke up, I went downstairs to find them. I saw him taking Dingdong to play on the slide in the playground of the community. The father and son were so happy that they had long forgotten my existence. At that moment, my The heart is very soft. 4. Cleverly create opportunities to let the children have fun when they are alone with their father. I have discovered that fathers only activate \”fatherly love\” when they take care of their children personally. Only by personally participating in the children\’s joys, sorrows, eating, drinking, and drinking can one sympathize with the mother\’s fatigue. In order to enhance the sense of ritual, Mr. Liu and I set up a \”daily fatherly time\”. For example, from 11:30 to 12:00 when he comes back from work at noon, he will play with his children downstairs. In the evening, he will play with his children for half a day before dinner. For an hour, I would read picture books with him and coax him to sleep before going to bed at night… The prerequisite is to \”confiscate\” his mobile phone first. As a mother, I would also tell my father when we go for a family walk at night: the child\’s progress, what proud things happened… This way, when the father sees his child, he can quickly find a common topic and not know anything about it. The children will also feel that although their father is not around, he knows and cares about everything I do. Also, although I consciously wanted to create opportunities for father and son to be alone together in the past, I caught him on several occasions leaving the child aside and playing with his mobile phone by himself. I told him, and he felt aggrieved: \”I don\’t know what to play with my child. I\’m so bored that I can\’t help looking at my phone.\” Afterwards, I immediately put my mind into preparing games, books, and toys that my child was interested in, and I specially waited for my father. Come and watch with him when you have time. In addition, I also went to Baidu to search for some games that only fathers can play with their children, such as \”riding a horse\”, \”flying in a plane\”, etc., and they found that they had a lot of fun playing. Cleverly creating opportunities for fathers and children to be alone does not mean leaving the children directly to the father. You must know that fathers are simple-minded creatures when it comes to raising children. It is necessary for the mother to make adequate preparations, create opportunities, and give him a push. When a husband experiences the joy of parenthood, he will naturally be more motivated to be a good father. Of course, the point is… we take the opportunity to give ourselves a vacation. 5. The most important thing is to be a considerate and good wife. Most mothers take the initiative to weaken their role as wives in the first two years after having children, and Dan’s mother is no exception. That\’s why Mr. Liu complained that I am more like the leader of the family, without the warmth and tolerance of a wife. Slowly I realized that no matter whether there are children or not, couples should have tenderness and love for each other. On the day of Women\’s Day, Mr. Liu agreed to take our mother and I out for a big dinner, but he had to let us go temporarily due to something else. I sat in the restaurant with Dingdang and was full of complaints. Finally, when we faced Mr. Liu who came to pick us up with an apologetic look on his face, just when he was about to get angry, the words \”empathize and empathize\” immediately flashed in his mind. Thinking that he came all the way here must be enough to blame myself, so why should I add salt to the wound. So he hugged Dingdang and said, \”Look, Dad is working really hard. He is giving usDingdang makes money from milk powder, can we forgive Dad? Should we love dad even more? \”Mr. Liu was so touched that he volunteered to help me put the baby to sleep that night, and even gave us a big meal the next day. If a wife can learn to cover up her husband\’s mistakes with love in this considerate way, it will be a great blessing to her. How emotionally and psychologically safe the husband feels. The husband is grateful for this. There is more resonance between the husband and wife, the relationship will naturally improve, and the communication will become smoother. Please go back to the first point.