If a child has these 4 behaviors, it means he has been spoiled! If you don\’t change it, it will be too late.

Only parents who allow their children to take risks, explore, and try can give their children the courage to withstand the storms of life. After having children, the children have become the weak point of many parents, their tempers are slowly smoothed, and their hearts become softer and softer. Once something happens to a child, no matter how big or small, it is very easy to get nervous. On Zhihu, there was a question \”How easy is it to destroy a parent?\” There was an answer that resonated with me. When I went to bed at night, I was suddenly awakened by my own crying in the middle of the night. My husband asked, \”Why are you crying?\” I wiped my tears with my hands and said, \”It\’s nothing. I just dreamed that my child was lost. I couldn\’t find him anywhere.\” \”Then I kept crying and crying, and finally I was frightened and woke up. \”As long as something happens to the child, it can destroy the parents, even in their dreams. Perhaps only after becoming a parent can one understand how deeply their children mean to their parents. Children who are loved by their parents are happy, but once the love is excessive, the child will be spoiled. Whether a child is spoiled or not can be seen from the external manifestations. When a child exhibits the following four behaviors, it is likely that he or she has been spoiled by his or her parents. Parents must treat it with caution and take precautions. Spoiled children with poor independence and no ability to take care of themselves have poor self-care abilities. Some parents always like to do everything for their children and do everything for their children, no matter how big or small. Children who grow up in such an environment will gradually develop a kind of inertia. Their parents will worry about everything, eat and drink for free, and have no ability to take care of themselves. Some children, already six or seven years old, cannot put on their own clothes or tie their shoelaces, and even have to be coaxed and fed by their grandma when eating. Long Yingtai once said that the so-called relationship between father, daughter and mother only means that your fate with him is to watch his back drift away in this life. Raising a baby for a lifetime, indeed. If the previous love was love for the sake of love, then the current love is love for the sake of leaving. It is precisely so that children can still live a good life after leaving you. Therefore, if parents love their children, they must slowly withdraw from their lives. Dr. Maria Montessori believes: \”The highest goal of educating children is to make them independent; they do not need to rely on their parents either mentally or materially, and they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions.\” After a child reaches the age of 3, it is a critical period for developing the ability to live independently. Parents let go when it’s time to let go, and there are some things that children can do on their own. Common daily behaviors in life, such as putting on and taking off clothes, washing oneself, eating independently, etc., can be allowed to be carried out independently by children. Encourage children to do their own things from an early age and give them more opportunities to work and do housework. Once a child has mastered basic life skills and can take care of himself independently, he will be able to take good care of himself no matter what time of life he is. Children like to talk about conditions and make demands without restraint. Today\’s children are very good at observing words and expressions. Some parents may think that observing words and expressions is an excellent insight ability. However, if parents fail to seize the educational opportunity of observing their children\’s words and emotions and allow their children to speculate on adults\’ thoughts, the children are very likely to fall into a situation where they do not distinguish right from wrong and \”plan\” for their own interests in everything. Over time, whatIf something is good for you, just obey it; if something is not good for you, just pretend you didn\’t hear it. If you want your child to help with some small things, your child will negotiate terms with you first. For example, if I help you with work, you have to give me some pocket money, and if I clean the house, you have to let me watch TV. When children are young, parents find it very interesting to have such \”exchange\” conditions; as long as the child is obedient, they are very happy to agree to the child\’s conditions. Over time, the child figures out that \”obedience\” can be exchanged for the \”benefits\” he wants, which is good for him, and the concept of \”action = reward\” will be established in his consciousness. Such \”excessive\” requirements often leave many parents wondering what to do. Once you satisfy one, there will be many more requests waiting for you later. Parents should be selective in meeting their children\’s requests and firmly reject inappropriate requests. Don\’t compromise easily because your child is acting unreasonably or acting cute. Doing things without principles and not following rules Everything in the world is inseparable from rules. Only with rules can we know the boundaries and know the appropriateness between people. However, the development of rules needs to be cultivated from an early age. Three feet of ice does not become cold in a day, let alone habits? For example, some children bang their rice bowls with chopsticks when eating, go to other people\’s homes to play and look through other people\’s drawers, and make loud noises in public places… These behaviors of children are actually manifestations of a lack of rule restraint and ignorance of rules. So, how old can a child be before she follows the rules? Setting rules for your children doesn’t mean the earlier the better. Sometimes there is a reason why children do not follow the rules or do things in a dawdle. It is because the child does not yet have the ability to control himself. When a child reaches about 2 years old, the sensitive period of self-awareness comes and he begins to be able to distinguish between \”yours\” and \”mine\” and understands that \”self\” is an independent individual. They are also able to move more freely, not only relying on their hands to get the items they want; their legs are also more flexible, and they begin to explore the things around them and pursue independence and freedom. Before the age of 2, the child\’s sensitive period of self-awareness has not yet arrived. His understanding and self-control abilities are not yet available, and it is too early to establish rules. If your child is 3 years old and still has some unruly behavior, as a parent, you must not blindly condone it, otherwise you will get a naughty child who is not accepted by society. Losing temper and being ungrateful. A spoiled child will always lose his temper. If others do not obey him, he will lose his temper regardless of the occasion. This is a typical symptom of being spoiled by parents. Children will encounter many problems as they grow up, such as: facing fear, facing difficulties, facing danger, behavioral control, desire control, etc. In fact, these are all problems of children\’s self-control. Self-control generally involves three components: controlling one\’s emotions, controlling one\’s behavior, and controlling one\’s desires. Children with strong self-control know how to restrain or express their emotions in other reasonable ways. Teaching children to understand emotions and manage their own emotions is the cornerstone of children\’s ability to enhance self-control. Dr. Montessori proposed that whether children can express their emotions when they grow up and whether they can establish good interpersonal relationships with others depends on whether children can successfully pass through their emotional sensitive period before the age of 6. 0-3 years oldChildren are still in a confused stage of understanding and expressing emotions. They yell, throw things, and lose their temper, all using direct actions to express their emotions. For children aged 4-6, their emotions have entered a period of stable development, and their control over their emotions has changed from passive to active. At this time, parents can learn different emotions with their children through picture books and stories, such as anger, sadness, and happiness, and show their children how to express emotions correctly. Smart parents know how to seize the opportunity for their children to grow up, guide their children to manage their emotions, and cultivate their children\’s self-control from an early age. You cannot blindly tolerate and dote on your children. If you do something wrong, you must give timely guidance and correction to your children. Just because you are young, you cannot just accommodate yourself and be reluctant to let your child cry. If parents indulge blindly and children do not know how to reciprocate, they will encounter obstacles even if they enter society, and they may even be lawless! Gorky said: \”Loving children is something even hens can do, and truly educating them is a big deal.\” As the saying goes: \”To spoil a child is to kill a child.\” spoiling children does not mean loving them, but harming them. them. If a child has the above symptoms, parents must pay attention.