If a mother has these three characteristics, her child’s emotional intelligence will not be too high. I hope it’s not you

Among the factors that influence a person\’s success, IQ only accounts for 20%, while emotional intelligence accounts for 80%. The so-called emotional intelligence, many people think that high emotional intelligence means being able to talk and solve problems. In fact, the meaning of emotional intelligence is much more than that. From a professional perspective, emotional intelligence usually refers to emotional quotient, or EQ for short, which mainly refers to a person’s qualities in terms of emotion, will, and tolerance of frustration, including the Leadership Quotient (LQ), etc. Generally speaking, there is no obvious innate difference in emotional intelligence between people, and it is more closely related to acquired cultivation. What we usually mean by high emotional intelligence is: knowing one\’s own emotions, having a high level of self-awareness, being able to take charge of one\’s own life, being good at interacting with others, being able to face everyone around him calmly, and being able to adapt quickly to new environments. . There is not much difference in IQ between people, and it has little impact on success. The most important influence is emotional intelligence. For example, in the movie \”Forrest Gump\”, although Forrest Gump\’s intelligence is lower than that of normal people, Forrest Gump has the energy to refuse to admit defeat. , he was very serious about everything he did, and finally founded his own company. In fact, a child\’s emotional intelligence has little genetic factors and mainly depends on the influence of acquired environment. Especially the mother\’s influence, because in most families the mother is the one who spends the most time with the children, and the mother\’s personality and way of doing things will affect the children. If the mother has these three personalities, the child\’s emotional intelligence will not be too high in the future. 01 Negativity and pessimism I like Mo Yan’s works very much. I always see upward power in Mo Yan’s works, and no matter how much suffering there is, it can be smoothed out in the end. Mo Yan wrote in the article \”Mother\”: In our big family, mother is the most hungry, and mother is the one who does the most work. I imagined that my mother would shed tears while working, but in reality, my mother would often hum while working. How strong do you have to be to maintain an optimistic attitude in such an environment? It is this positive attitude towards facing the hardships in life that has always influenced Mo Yan and given him the motivation to create. Before he became famous, Mo Yan had to beg for food and experienced a lot of hardships, but these hardships were all intense. If he had been negative and pessimistic in the original environment, thinking that the world was not worth it, then there would be no such works. ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Some people say that mother is the leader of the family. I agree with this statement. If the mother in a family has a positive and optimistic personality, then the family will become smoother and better. However, if the mother has a negative and pessimistic personality, she always complains about everything. , then no matter how good the opportunity is, it will be lost. The mother\’s personality is most affected by her children. Children can easily become negative and pessimistic in life. They are afraid of anything challenging and always feel that they can\’t do it. 02 The mother who attacks and accuses \”I told you a long time ago, look at the failure!\” \”Just you? You are not the same material!\” When a mother always attacks her child\’s self-confidence, it will be difficult for him to become a confident person. people. We often talk about security, and we often talk about self-confidence. The original source of security and self-confidence is parents. With the support, love and tolerance of parents, children can have a sense of security and self-confidence. ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Just like the director Dumpling of the movie \”Nezha\”, he studied medicine in university, but he was obsessed with animation in his heart. After graduation, Diaozi did not work or socialize. He only made animation at home and relied on his mother’s pension to survive. Finally, he made a good movie like \”Nezha\”. ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍If it hadn’t been for my mother’s support, there wouldn’t be any good movies today. Li Jiaqi also had the same experience as dumplings. At first, Li Jiaqi worked as a \”counter sister\” at a shopping mall counter, selling skin care products. In order to test lipstick models, Li Jiaqi put lipstick on her mouth and let customers see the color selection, and later entered the live broadcast industry. ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍At the beginning, all relatives and friends were saying \”Li Jiaqi is sick\”. Why would a good boy make skin care products for girls? But Li Jiaqi’s mother said: As long as you like it. ‍‍‍‍‍‍For a child, his parents are his warmest support. Even if the whole world says he can\’t do it, as long as his parents believe, the child can do it. The movie \”The Life of the Disliked Songzi\” is very sad. Songzi grew up in a family that lacked love. She had low self-esteem and desperately longed for people\’s recognition. Songzi\’s fate was inseparable from the influence of her family environment. If the mother has this kind of personality, then the child will easily develop a low self-esteem and sensitive personality, and be cautious in everything they do for fear of making mistakes. 03 Strong desire to control \”When the child leaves, it seems that the focus of life is suddenly gone!\” Many mothers want to let their children follow their own trajectory, hoping to protect their children forever. In fact, this also shows that mothers are more controlling. powerful. If the mother is too controlling, what will happen to the child? On the one hand, the child will become cowardly and lazy, relying on his mother for everything. Some readers once sent me a private message saying that her husband is a mama\’s boy because her mother-in-law is very controlling and wants her husband to listen to her in everything. Her husband is already in his thirties and cannot be independent yet. So he found a job and did I was fired after more than half a month. When a mother behaves too strongly in the family and always tries to control her children, the children will become weak and will become independent, hesitant, and indecisive when they grow up. On the other hand, children may become rebellious and always want to escape from their mother\’s control, or even deliberately disobey their mother. When they grow up, they just want to escape. Either way is not conducive to the growth of the child. If you want your children to have high emotional intelligence, then you must pay attention to your words and deeds. What kind of person you want your children to be, you must first become such a person yourself. Only if we are good enough can we support our children\’s future.