If children do not endure hardship in childhood, parents will endure hardship in their later years! (Good in-depth article)

There is a saying: No matter how poor we are, we cannot afford education; no matter how miserable we are, we cannot suffer for our children. Looking around, many parents are scrimping on food and clothing, but they don’t blink when buying high-end brand names for their children; they are willing to stretch out their hands for clothes and open their mouths for food, and they are not willing to do even a little bit of housework; parents are not willing to go on trips several times. But when a child wants money to travel abroad, he has to sign up even if he borrows money… What will happen to such children when they grow up? The more you dote on your children, the more heartbreaking it is. There was a piece of news last year that people will never forget after reading it: 32-year-old Yang graduated from Weinan Normal University. He is an only child. His parents are reluctant to let him suffer any injustice, so they save money to provide for him. Finished college. Since he had never suffered much since he was a child, Yang experienced the hardships and hardships of life for the first time after entering the society. Thinking of the neglect he had received and the looks he had received, his psychology gradually became distorted, and he conceived ideas in his mind every day. How to make money fast. One day, he accidentally discovered that if an accident occurred after purchasing insurance, the insurance company would pay huge compensation. He immediately applied for multiple insurances for his parents such as personal accident and high disability insurance. Then, he personally cooked to entertain his parents, mixing the prepared nitrite into the purchased beef. During the meal, he took the initiative to put the poisonous beef into his parents\’ bowl. But the parents loved their son so much that they wanted to leave it to him, so they didn’t eat a bite. Not only did Yang show no remorse, he went to the kitchen again, mixed nitrite into the water, stirred it, served it to his parents, and watched them drink it. He watched his parents struggle to death in pain, and finally opened the gas tank to create a scene of death due to gas poisoning. This tragedy was certainly caused by Yang\’s loss of humanity, but the underlying reason was his parents\’ overindulgence of Yang. Everything has been arranged for the children since childhood, and the children will not suffer any setbacks. As everyone knows, when such children lose the protection of their parents and face society alone, once they encounter setbacks, their ability to endure and resist is almost zero. Rousseau once said: \”Do you know what method you can use to make your child a miserable person? This method is to be obedient to him.\” Your doting not only affects your child\’s life, but also makes your child a miserable person. He brings the evil in his nature to the extreme, and it even affects his own life. There are no born naughty children, only parents who lack education. There are no born naughty children, only parents who lack education. Anyone who can educate noble children must be from a noble family. The so-called expensiveness does not mean the amount of wealth, but the nobleness of the parents, the nobleness of the parents, the nobleness of the parents\’ educational philosophy, and even more valuable, the parents\’ precepts and deeds. When talking about Fan Zhongyan, people will blurt out \”Be worried about the world\’s worries first, and be happy after the world\’s happiness.\” But many people don\’t know that Fan Zhongyan\’s descendants all worked hard in their studies, and later became famous ministers and good ministers. It has been passed down from generation to generation and has lasted for eight hundred years. \”History of the Song Dynasty\” commented on Fan Zhongyan\’s son Fan Chunren: \”As an official to the prime minister, he was honest and frugal, did many good deeds, and was praised by the people.\” \”Old News of Qujian\” also recorded that Fan Zhongyan\’s grandson Fan Zhengping was studying outside the city, 100 meters away from the city. There is twenty miles of land, and in the summer I use a broken fan to protect myself from the sun, and I walk forty miles round trip to school every day, and no one knowsHis father, Fan Chunren, was a high official in the capital. All of this comes from Fan Zhongyan\’s strict teachings. Fan Zhongyan often warned future generations: \”Don\’t take money lightly, you will get it through hard work; don\’t learn luxury, and you will bring poverty.\” When Fan Chunren got married, he and his wife planned to use brocade silk as their wedding room. decoration. When Fan Zhongyan found out, he immediately called Fan Chunren and lectured him: \”My family has always been honest and frugal, how could I allow you to be so extravagant and spoil the style of my Fan family! If you bring the curtains into the house, I will burn them in public.\” In today\’s society, While many parents from poor families do not let their children endure hardship and try their best to raise their children to be rich children, the rich desperately want their children to endure hardship. Dong Mingzhu has focused on cultivating his son\’s spirit of enduring hardship since he was a child. Growing up, Dong Mingzhu never picked up her son by car once, and always let him take the bus to go home by himself. One day, Dong Mingzhu waited for her son to come back for dinner, but she didn\’t see her son coming home after waiting around. After his son got home, he told Dong Mingzhu that he had been waiting for more than half an hour for a car without air conditioning that cost one yuan. Therefore, her son has been strong and independent since he was a child. Even for the college entrance examination, he prepared alone and brought his usual medicines to prevent accidents. When he grew up, his son said, \”If mom can start from scratch, so can I.\” Although his mother has a fortune, his son is a lawyer with a monthly salary of only five to six thousand yuan. He drives a car worth about one hundred thousand yuan and lives in a house. Also rented. There are no shortcuts on the road to growth. Parents will eventually withdraw from their children\’s lives, and the sweetness gained without suffering will one day have to be returned. Therefore, to truly love a child is not to put him in a honeypot, but to experience the joys and sorrows and explore the meaning and value of struggle alone. In the face of wind and rain, you can be unafraid and wait for the wind and rain to calm down until the clouds clear and the moon shines. Smart parents know how to let their children endure hardship. In fact, suffering itself has no meaning. It does not mean that which child endures more hardship will have greater abilities in the future. What makes children grow is not suffering, but the insights and thinking after suffering, as well as the experience and sublimation of personal qualities. Therefore, simply enduring hardship is not worthy of praise. Otherwise, wouldn’t the street homeless who have suffered so much become the winners in life? What is worthy of praise is the ability to overcome suffering and the happiness gained after overcoming suffering. For those who have read books, I am afraid that everyone will recite Mencius\’s \”Toughing up one\’s mind, straining one\’s muscles and bones, starving one\’s body and skin…\” However, many people memorize it and forget the beginning: Heaven will confer a great responsibility on this people. Therefore, many people have forgotten the ultimate purpose of enduring hardship and mistakenly regard suffering itself as a noble glory. The same principle applies to letting children endure hardships. Really meaningful hardships are not simply about wronging children in material terms, but about letting children overcome hardships through hard work, win what they really want, and gain the confidence to live independently for the rest of their lives. Last July, U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts said some \”harsh words\” at his son\’s graduation ceremony. While social media flooded the screen, it also aroused deep thought in society. “Normally, commencement speakers wish you good luck and wish you well, but I won’t do that. I hope that in the years to come, you will experience injustice from time to time so that you understand the value of justice.May you taste betrayal and it will teach you the importance of loyalty. May you occasionally have bad luck, so that you will realize the role of opportunity in life, and then understand that your success is not destined, and that other people\’s failures are not natural. When you encounter failure, may you be mocked by your opponents with gloating, so that you will understand the importance of competitive spirit. May you be ignored occasionally so you can learn to listen, and may you suffer appropriately so you can have compassion. Whether you or I want it or not, these will come sooner or later. And whether you can benefit from it depends on whether you can understand the message conveyed by life\’s suffering. \”So, let your children endure hardships from an early age, think about the meaning of suffering, and learn the wisdom to overcome suffering. Let your children endure hardships meaningfully, so that parents will not endure hardships in their later years.