If parents cannot control themselves, all education is useless

I often hear many parents around me complain: Why are today’s children so difficult to manage? From adolescent boys in their teens to 3-year-olds, the more parents control, the more rebellious the children become; the tighter the parents control, the more rebellious the children become. It makes people confused, what is the problem? Children\’s Science Knowledge Working Cell Animation Complete Works 1080P Ultra-HD Chinese Version I once heard a teacher say: \”When you are disciplining your children, if you use too much force, feel very tired, and the child is in great pain, then the method must be wrong.\” \”To take good care of your children, you must take good care of yourself first.\” I have seen this picture: On the subway, a mother is reading a book, and the child is picking up a book and reading it. Another mother is playing with her mobile phone, and the child is also staring at it. Watch on mobile phone. On the road to education, if parents can set good examples, children can avoid going astray. Some studies have found that children are complete \”perception organs\”. Children\’s eyes are like tape recorders and their ears are like radios. Children accept everything their parents say and do. Then from their perspective, the truth is brutally displayed in front of the parents. Therefore, the most important person in a family to be educated is the parents. If parents cannot manage themselves well, all education will be in vain. Children\’s problems are a reflection of parents\’ problems. Psychologist Yang Jie once shared a case. There was a boy in primary school who didn’t listen carefully in class, often fought with his classmates, didn’t do his homework, and had a withdrawn personality… The teacher came to see his parents every three days. One time, the teacher even reported: “The child stared at the teacher in class, and his eyes were scary. .\” The mother collapsed. She felt that the child was simply hopeless. But after Yang Jie learned about the situation, he discovered that the child\’s problem actually lies with the mother. The mother\’s education to her children was simple and rough, either yelling or beating her. Day after day, the child becomes irritable. His mother slapped him once, and he slapped his mother twice. The mother and son often fight all night long. The child deliberately refuses to do his homework and lies on the floor to sleep when he is sleepy. The mother is also angry with the child and pricks the child as soon as he closes his eyes! Yang Jie suggested that the mother stop spanking the child. The mother felt aggrieved: \”I I have used all possible methods, and I spank my children because I have no other options.\” How many parents force their children to take medicine when they are sick? Parents do not reflect on themselves, but force their children to change. Children\’s problems are only effects, and the cause lies with the parents. As a professor said: \”When you find that it is difficult to educate children, the problem actually occurs very early. Children\’s problems are often caused by adults. Every psychological or behavioral problem in children must be related to the behavior of their parents. , It’s related to parents’ education methods.” The book “Don’t wait until your children grow up to regret doing too much now” also points out that children’s performance is closely related to their parents’ problems. Sadly, parents only focus on their children and are unaware of their own mistakes. All the efforts are directed at the child, and they only focus on cutting off the child\’s problems in a big way. They only care about the child and not themselves. The most likely result of such \”double-standard\” education is: the more parents control, the more headaches they get, and the children become more and more rebellious. Good education is all about exerting effort on yourself. Yang Lan once said: \”Don\’t put all your efforts on your children. If you are fulfilled, happy, and responsible,If you have the ability to manage emotions, your children will imitate you. \”The key to education is to educate parents. If parents do a good job, their children will naturally be good. Smart parents know how to manage themselves well in these four aspects. Only when parents\’ hearts are full and abundant can they in turn bring better things to their children. Good personality influence. 1. Manage your own words and deeds, and cultivate your children\’s cultivation. I once saw such a scene. A boy casually said a swear word. The father behind him stepped forward and slapped him: \”Damn, who told you to use swear words?\” of? \”How can it be possible to teach children to be civilized in such an uncivilized way? \”Loyalty, filial piety and etiquette, as I asked Guo Qilin, I will treat my father and others the same way. \”Guo Degang said. He never dared to sit down when talking to his father on the phone. He was always respectful to his father and always polite to his elders. Because he first set strict demands on himself and set an example for his children, and then acted in a different way. When he comes to regulate his children\’s words and deeds, everything will fall into place. In the entertainment industry, Guo Qilin has always been known for being polite to others. When Guo Qilin sits with his father, he always straightens his back and is respectful. When his father speaks, he always stands tall. Behind your back, listen carefully, and always start your replies with \”you\”. Externally, you are also humble and polite. When you see an elder, you quickly bend down to say hello, ask how you are, and when others help, \”Thank you, please\” is often on your lips. Parents. Every word and deed of a child is a \”benchmark\” for their children. What kind of person they want their children to become, parents must take the lead. 2. Manage your own emotions and cultivate your children\’s good character. I have seen such a video. In a second-child family, the elder sister When he is bored, he will poke his younger brother in the eye with his hands. When he is angry, he will hit his younger brother on the head with a toy. When the siblings have a dispute, he will punch and kick his younger brother directly. My elder sister will also hit, push, grab, and slap her for no reason. Brother. Every time at this time, my mother would be very angry and take out a needle to prick my sister and hit her mouth with a clothes hanger. From morning to night, the house was filled with my mother’s yelling, my sister’s crying, and my brother’s crying. Later, The nursery teacher asked the mother: \”Did your mother treat you like this when you were a child? \”My mother choked up several times and didn\’t want to recall it. Although she couldn\’t remember what mistake she made, the angry expressions of her parents and the words \”Why don\’t you die\” have always been engraved in her mind. Many times, she also knew It’s not good to lose your temper, but you can’t help but be angry at your children. This is how violent emotions are passed down from generation to generation between parents and children. If parents cannot control their own emotions, their children will not be able to control themselves when something happens, and will only copy their parents’ angry behavior. Hu Shi once said: \”If I learn a little bit of good temper, if I learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and considerate others – I have to thank my loving mother. \”When parents encounter problems, only by first controlling their own temper can they see the needs behind their children\’s emotions and guide their children to perceive and manage their emotions. In this way, children can learn empathy from their parents\’ understanding and acceptance. 3. Take care of yourself The desire to cultivate children\’s self-discipline was at a friend\’s house two days ago. I happened to meet her mother and daughter talking to each other: \”How long have you been watching TV and you still haven\’t done your homework? \”Dad has been playing games all morning. Why don\’t you tell him?\” \”After saying that, my daughter looked reluctant.He took out his homework book, but kept his eyes on the TV. \”What are you talking about? How can anyone do homework and watch TV at the same time?\” \”Oh, just now, who was cooking while keeping the phone in hand?\” The friend got angry and yelled: \”I am your mother, kid Can you compete with adults?\” \”You can\’t take care of yourself, so why should you take care of me?\” The daughter threw away the pen, stood up, walked into the room, and slammed the door. Bai Yansong said: \”It is difficult for parents who play mahjong at home every day to teach their children to read. I think in China\’s education, the most worthy of complaint are the parents.\” How can a parent who indulges himself control his children well? In Ningbo, Zhejiang, in order to cultivate his child\’s interest in classical Chinese, a father did not even watch TV every day. He sat at his desk after get off work and rewrote the father and daughter\’s favorite cartoon \”Spirited Away\” into classical Chinese. Growing up, as long as the children were studying, my father would put down what he was doing and sit quietly reading. Nowadays, my daughter consciously completes her homework after school every day, and she never needs supervision from her parents in her studies. Moreover, under the influence of her father, her daughter also fell in love with classical Chinese. In sixth grade, she even learned from her father to write a diary in classical Chinese. Parents \”taking care of themselves\” are more effective than taking care of their children 100 times. Only when parents control their urge to play games and control their desire to play on mobile phones can their children learn self-discipline under the influence of strict self-discipline from their parents. 4. Manage your own habits and cultivate your children’s persistence. Zhihu has a question: What habits of your parents have affected your life? A netizen replied: \”For more than ten years, my father has insisted on getting up at 6:30 every day to read and recharge. And my mother, whenever she has free time, will also pick up a book and read carefully. After dinner every day, my parents always meet upstairs. I would play ball in the open space or go for a run. After returning home, I would always happily discuss the benefits of exercise. Years later, I was surprised to realize that these were \”deliberate\” educations from my parents. I used to be unable to get up in the morning. I feel sleepy while reading and feel lazy when I exercise. But when I see that my parents are still insisting, I suddenly feel that getting up early is not so painful, reading does not seem to be that difficult, and exercising has become a daily habit.\” Educator Fukuzawa Yukichi said: \”Family is a school of habits, and parents are teachers of habits.\” Every child is a natural imitator. It is difficult to cultivate children\’s persistence, but if the parents themselves do not give up, the children will follow their parents. Grow in your footsteps. Education is a long road, only example is a shortcut. Parents do not give up on self-growth, and children continue to work hard to grow. Lei Dongdong, principal of Shanghai Guanghua Cambridge, said: \”Instead of spending time and energy on children every day and trying to control every second of their children\’s growth, parents should just Do your own thing well.\” That\’s what she said and she did. She has her own interests and hobbies, her own work and responsibilities. She is a mother and an educator. She has been committed to self-growth, and her daughter has also learned from her mother and continued to work hard to grow. After her daughter graduated from the third grade of junior high school, she went to England to study alone, and was finally admitted to Oxford University. The daughter thanked: \”When I was growing up, my mother didn\’t give me much time, but she set a good example.\” Many parents have children.After that, they all focused on the children and paid a lot, but the children didn\’t buy it. This is because parents who give up on self-growth can hardly give their children a positive influence, and their children therefore lack motivation to improve. Tolstoy said: \”All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine percent of education, comes down to role models and the correctness and perfection of parents\’ own lives.\” The most likely way for children to grow up is to copy their current parents. Education means teaching yourself first and then teaching others. Take care of yourself first, then take care of yourself. Only by becoming better ourselves first can we guide our children to become better people. How to Improve Emotional Intelligence Education Piglet and Elephant Picture Book Elephant and Piggie, 25 volumes in total PDF + reading package + video + audio