If there are adolescent children at home, the mother must become silly and sweet (the words are insightful)

The writer Mai Jia once said: \”Adolescence is a kind of danger, which can go to heaven or earth, it can be a knife or a flower.\” A year ago, I was \”lucky\” to join the ranks of those who were abused, and I had a profound understanding of it. , the son’s sharp, don’t get close to him after he entered puberty. One day when he was in the second grade of junior high school, my son posted an A4 paper on the door that said \”Private room, no idlers allowed. If you need anything, please knock!!!\” and he solemnly pulled his father and me to look at it. But I didn\’t take my son\’s appeal into consideration, let alone take it into my heart. I just opened the door and walked in as before, and even took off the quilt when he stayed in bed. My son was extremely fed up with my behavior and yelled at me: \”I\’m grown up and need my own space. You don\’t listen to my requests at all, and don\’t expect me to listen to you!\” I thought he said it out of anger. In that case, I didn’t expect him to actually do that. I asked him to eat, but he ignored him and came late after fussing in his room for more than 20 minutes. I urged him to do his homework, but he became even more annoyed and smashed his books on the table in protest. I thought To see if he was asleep, he locked the door directly, leaving me stunned outside. The tough tactics I used to use in the past don\’t work at all now. Later, I began to reflect: My son has entered a stage of rapid physical and mental development. He is constantly changing, and my old methods will definitely not work. In the battle of wits and courage with my son, I summed up three words of \”good advice\”. To put it simply: when facing adolescent children, if a mother wants to avoid internal friction, she must be \”silly and sweet\”. Silly: Don’t compete and improve your child’s fault tolerance. In the past, every time I finished an assignment, I always urged my son to review it and ask him to list his confusion and the root causes of his mistakes. If the analysis is not profound enough, I will ask him to rewrite it until I nod and am satisfied. Later, my harshness became a double-edged sword. Instead of being more careful, he became more evasive and resistant, and the distance between mother and son quietly widened. So, I decided to adjust my strategy, choosing to ignore those minor imperfections, and instead encourage him to discover and improve himself. When I stopped being critical, his tension became much less intense. In the face of adolescent children, mothers must have the consciousness of \”not competing and improving the fault tolerance rate of their children.\” This means that in the process of raising children, mothers must let go of the excessive pursuit of perfection and look at it from a more tolerant and developmental perspective. The child\’s shortcomings. This mentality is like paving soft grass for children\’s growth, so that they will not be injured when they fall, but can stand up more bravely and continue to move forward. My cousin\’s daughter Yiyi is in adolescence and has become somewhat rebellious. She is full of doubts about everything around her, including communication with her mother. She often ignored her mother\’s advice, sometimes even responding with cold remarks. My cousin couldn\’t accept it at first. Yiyi used to be a sensible and warm-hearted child. Why did she change so much all of a sudden? Later, my cousin realized that adolescent children are seeking self-identity and independence, which often manifests as resentment and challenge to their parents. As a result, my cousin no longer overemphasized her own opinions and opinions, but listened more to her daughter’s thoughts and feelings.. She found that when she really put down her posture and listened to her daughter attentively, her daughter became more willing to share her inner world with her. Once, Yiyi encountered some difficulties at school. When she returned home, she did not tell her mother directly, but chose to sit alone in the room silently. After the cousin noticed her daughter\’s emotional change, she did not directly ask what happened, but chose a gentler approach. She took a book, sat next to her daughter, and began to read quietly. After a while, Yiyi seemed to be infected by her mother\’s calmness, and she took the initiative to tell her mother about the problems she encountered at school. The cousin did not interrupt him, nor did he give too many suggestions. She just listened quietly and occasionally gave some comfort and encouragement. She told her daughter that everyone will encounter difficulties and setbacks, but the important thing is to learn to face and solve them. Through this exchange, Yiyi truly felt the change in her mother. Her mother no longer spoke to her in a commanding tone, but gave her more care and support. From then on, she began to communicate more actively with her mother and share her life and feelings. And my cousin continues to treat her daughter with a higher fault tolerance rate, and uses love and patience to accompany her daughter through adolescence. Competing with adolescent children often only causes both parties to fall into endless fatigue and misunderstanding. The essence of the word \”silly\” is to hope that mothers will stick to principled issues and choose tolerance and understanding in those non-principled trivial matters, so that they can be well, you can be well, and the whole family can be well. Bai: Be more respectful and give your children enough room to grow. Teenagers entering adolescence are like a sensitive crystal ball. Any inadvertent touch may cause ripples or cracks. In the process of getting along with my son, I also encountered communication barriers due to being too direct and demanding. I began to adjust my strategy. I changed the urging of \”Why don\’t you practice piano yet? You keep procrastinating every time!\” to a gentle inquiry: \”Son, do you think today\’s state is suitable for starting piano practice, or do you want to do something else?\” \”Relax?\” At the dinner table, I took the initiative to share my small achievements and challenges at work, and also listened to his interesting stories about friends and school. Faced with his occasional failure in exams, I gave up the previous blame and disappointment, and instead worked side by side with him to discuss the knowledge behind the wrong questions and encourage him to learn from them instead of indulging in the emotion of failure. Gradually, my son showed more initiative and sense of responsibility. He would proactively plan his study time, treat homework more seriously and meticulously, and even recite texts with unprecedented enthusiasm and concentration. It turns out that understanding and respect are the bridge to children\’s hearts. In the journey of children\’s growth, parents are both travelers and bystanders. What parents should do most is to give them enough space to move forward bravely and explore the unknown world. There is an ordinary family in Nanjing, Jiangsu. Ms. Li\’s son Wang Hao is passionate about astronomy. He often watches the stars at night and dreams of becoming an astronomer. Faced with her child\’s slightly \”non-mainstream\” interests, Ms. Li not only did not object, but took the initiative to buy an astronomical telescope for her son and encouraged him to participate in the school\’s science and technology interest group.Group. With the support of his mother, Wang Hao\’s astronomy knowledge has become increasingly enriched, and he has won many awards in national youth astronomy competitions. Ms. Li said: \”Every child is unique, they have their own interests and dreams. As parents, we should respect our children\’s choices and give them enough space to pursue their dreams. Only in this way will children make great progress. \”The child is so lucky to have a mother who respects and fully supports him. The Irish poet Yeats said: \”Education is not filling a bucket of water, but lighting a fire.\” Indeed. Education is about lighting the fire rather than filling the bottle; it is about giving children the keys to explore rather than filling the storehouse of answers. When facing adolescent children, leaving space for their growth, showing more respect and less interference is to give wings to their souls and help them fly freely on the road of growth. Tian: Taste sweets and discover more of the advantages in children. I still remember the wise mother Liu Jing in the TV series \”Little Joy\”. Her son Ji Yangyang loves racing. Liu Jing did not stop him because racing was considered \”not doing his job\”. Instead, she chose to respect and understand his hobby. She even took the initiative to take her husband Ji Shengli to the racing track so that her husband could experience the charm of racing firsthand, thereby better understanding and supporting her son\’s interests. She will communicate with her son in a calm manner: \”Yang Yang, mom knows that you are passionate about racing, and this is your dream. But mom also hopes that you understand that studies are equally important. We can work together to see if we can find a The balance allows you to pursue your dreams without delaying your studies.\” While supporting her son, she also made her son understand the importance of learning. When Ji Yangyang makes progress or achievements in a certain area, Liu Jing will give words of encouragement at the right time: \”Yang Yang, my mother has seen your efforts and progress, and is really proud of you. Every bit of progress you make is for yourself.\” A transcendence. Keep up this momentum, mom believes you will become better and better.\” While outsiders only saw Ji Yangyang\’s coldness and rebelliousness on the surface, Liu Jing discovered that her son had a fiery heart under his cold appearance. At critical moments, Ji Yangyang was always able to step forward and provide help and support to family and friends. Liu Jing\’s \”sweet words\” allowed her to enter Ji Yangyang\’s inner world more easily and establish a more intimate and trusting mother-child relationship. Therefore, when Ji Yangyang learned that his mother would lose her hair during chemotherapy, he shaved his head without hesitation, just so that his mother would not feel lonely and lonely. There is an old saying: A kind word warms you for three winters, but a bad word hurts you for six months. The words you speak can be a soothing medicine, or a sharp knife that can hurt people invisible. If a mother\’s mouth is full of honey, the words she speaks are the most beautiful magic in the world, which can dispel the gloom in the children\’s hearts and make smiles bloom like flowers on their faces. When facing adolescent children, a mother\’s kind words are more powerful than demeaning or damaging words, and can enable children to make changes and develop for the better. There is a saying I like very much: \”If an iron-like education falls on children, they will be as soft and weak as water. If a soft-like education falls on children, they will be as strong and powerful as iron.\” Tough educational methods are not necessarily necessary. can achieve good results,Especially for adolescent children. Wise mothers may wish to try the 3-word \”silly white sweet\” trick to overcome toughness with softness and help children successfully get through the dangerous adolescence with education that touches their children\’s hearts.