If you are \”disliked\” by your children, be careful because you have \”three correct views\”

Every day after dinner, my son will find something to do by himself. Sometimes I play with building blocks. Sometimes I would draw pictures, or use a game book to connect lines and find differences by myself. If you have any questions that you don\’t understand, you\’ll come to me. Sometimes, I have a little idea. When my son came over and asked me a question about finding the number patterns. I quickly guided him in adding and subtracting single digits and how to find numbers. Then I thought about teaching him how to add ten digits while the iron is hot. But the little guy was very resistant. Because he was eager to turn to the next page and didn\’t like his father telling him too much. But I wanted to let him learn more. Fortunately, in the end I will still follow his rhythm and click to the end. As parents, we always think about letting our children learn more. Just let the child eat more. Just let the children understand a little more truth. …I always feel that it’s better to have a little more of everything. I think this is how I love my children. As a result, the child will accumulate food and suffer from indigestion. They will resent our preaching. Will become an old \”child\”. If we don\’t wake up early, we will use sticks and sticks to force children to obey their parents\’ will. I think the result will generally not be very good. Many parents try their best to think about their children, but in the end they are \”disliked\” by their children. This is often because they have too correct views. I still remember one time when relatives came to my house as guests. After dinner, we talked about the children\’s learning problems. The relative talked endlessly about how caring he was for his son. I don’t want him to become Jack Ma, but I also hope he can go to a decent university and do a career. You can\’t be like yourself and be a little contractor, taking the blame everywhere. Where is the son? I felt like an outsider there, not listening to what my father said at all. Keep staring at the phone in front of you. When you call him, he raises his head and looks at you. My father yelled a lot, and he still looked impatient. It seems that he is tired of hearing these words from his father. The father wanted to pass on the spirit of a great man to his son and inspire him to study. But the son didn\’t care about this big shot at all. We can all see that there is a barrier between the son and his father, and there is no exchange of information. Like two isolated islands, they slide further and further apart. Why is it that the child who was chasing and shouting at you back then is now someone you don’t even recognize? You educate him in the way you think is best. As a result, the children moved further away. In fact, this cannot be blamed on the children. Because the problem is adult anxiety. When your children are young, you must be careful not to “adult” them too early. Because we always hope that our children will be obedient and sensible. There is a very sensible girl in my son\’s class. During the New Year event, we happened to enter the park together when we got off the bus. Two children dressed in New Year\’s red clothes were jumping and running. I was even more happy to see my classmates dressed up on the road. You can imagine that the children are happy inside. But when he saw the child, he ran away. The girl\’s mother quickly called her. When I saw that the child didn\’t listen, I immediately stopped and said, \”You\’re still like this,\” so I went home and stopped participating in the activity. The child immediately ran in front of his mother obediently. Why do we have to \”threaten\” the child like this to make her obey? No wonder the teacher said that this child is like a \”little mother\” and is very sensible. It’s not that it’s not good to be sensible, weThey all hope that their children will be sensible. But don\’t suppress your child\’s nature because of this. Rousseau, the French Enlightenment thinker, once made a wonderful discussion about protecting the nature of children: Nature hopes that children will be more like children before they become adults. If we disrupt this order, we will create a batch of premature fruits that will not grow plumply. It\’s not sweet either, and it will rot quickly, and we\’ll end up with some young PhDs and senile children. Children have their own unique opinions, thoughts and feelings; it would be the most foolish thing to try to replace their opinions, thoughts and feelings with our own. A mother left a message saying that when she was tutoring her child on homework, her son asked with a sad face: Mom, I don’t know how to solve this question. I looked at the question \”Where is the capital of China?\” Well, I didn\’t know that, so I patiently and gently began to guide him, son, think about where the national flag is raised? The son rolled his eyes for ten seconds and answered affirmatively: On the flag stand. After hearing the answer, my mother almost collapsed. But we will find that there are no questions in the child\’s answer, but full of innocence. But is mom’s guidance appropriate? When you long for your child to give you the answers you expect, you will only be disappointed. Because the world of children is different from our world. Just like one day I said what would be the consequences if we discovered an invisibility cloak with wall-penetrating capabilities. The safes in which gold and silver were stored were in danger I thought of. But the child said that hide and seek is great. This is the world of children. How would you place your children’s dreams? In the movie \”Coco\”. Miguel, a 12-year-old boy, has had a musical dream since he was a child, but music is forbidden by his family. They think they are cursed by music. Even if he reaches the land of the dead, the blessing that sends him back to the world comes with conditions: he can never touch music. Parents always like to put a condition on their love. If you obey, I will love you and support you. If you choose according to my ideas, I will love you. The child needs this kind of love, but he will feel depressed. When they were young, they didn’t feel it because they couldn’t leave their families and couldn’t do without their parents’ care. But when they get older, they will express their dissatisfaction and resistance. So many parents scolded: Your wings are stiff, aren\’t you, and you are disobedient? It is a good thing that the wings have hardened. Don’t we want our children to fly higher and further? Why would it be a reproachful word. The key point is the last sentence \”You are disobedient\”. Don\’t always blame your child. Sometimes your child\’s slightest mistake will cause you to yell at him. It\’s just because of the nameless fire in your own heart, or even some unreasonable excuses. In Rabindranath Tagore\’s little poem, he wrote: \”Why are there tears in your eyes, my child? They are so terrible, and they often blame you needlessly! When you write, the ink stains your hands and face – this is Is that why they call you dirty? Oh, bah! Do they dare to call the round moon dirty because it has painted its face with ink? They always want to blame you for every little thing, my child. They are always looking for faults unnecessarily. You broke the gameYour clothes – is that why they say you\’re untidy? Ha, bah! The autumn morning smiles from its broken cloud clothes. So, what are they going to call it? Whatever they say to you, ignore them, my child. They write down a long list of things you did wrong. Everyone knows you love sweets – is that why they call you greedy? Ha, bah! We like you, so what are they going to call us? Our children will eventually grow up to look like themselves. Of course I will bring my parents’ shadow with me. What we need to do is to make our better selves a role model for our children. Be the force that warms children\’s hearts.