If you are not cruel to your children, you will be sad in the future

When I went back to my hometown during the Chinese New Year, I found that a relative\’s child had grown into a young man. Although he was only thirteen or fourteen years old, he was already over 1.7 meters tall and his voice had also changed. I still vaguely remember what he looked like when he was a child, and I can’t help but lament how time flies. During the Spring Festival, we went to their home as guests. After entering the door, he was found leaning on the sofa in his pajamas playing games on his mobile phone. He didn\’t even raise his eyelids when he saw a guest coming. His mother asked him to call him \”Auntie\”, but he didn\’t even have a voice. His mother shook her head and sighed in anger. Dinner is ready, just waiting for him to be served. After shouting several times, he ignored it and stared at the screen of his mobile phone, concentrating on it. His mother was very angry and yelled at him, so he reluctantly moved to the table with his head drooping. He stood aside and glanced at the table, and muttered with a straight face: \”It\’s all meat, and there\’s nothing I like to eat.\” His mother said: \”There\’s meat everywhere? There are so many vegetables, what on earth are you going to eat?\” ?\” He shouted loudly: \”Don\’t you know what I like to eat? I\’ll say it again, I want to eat potatoes and lotus roots! I won\’t eat without these two vegetables in the future! It\’s so annoying!\” After saying that, he turned and left , continue to lie on the sofa and play games. Everyone looked at each other, and the atmosphere was a bit awkward. His mother shook her head and sighed: \”Oh, I really owe him in my previous life. He is so old and he is not sensible at all. I am so angry!\” Everyone comforted him and started to eat. After dinner, we discussed going for a walk and visiting the park. While everyone else is getting ready, this kid is still playing the game. His father couldn\’t stand it anymore, so he kicked him and told him to change clothes quickly. He jumped up and said angrily: \”What are you doing? I don\’t know where the clothes are! How do I know which clothes to wear?\” What? You are a teenager and you still don’t know where to put your clothes and what to wear? It’s simply unbelievable. I really don’t know how his parents taught him and how he controlled him when he was a child. His mother said, \”I\’m so angry, so angry\” as she went to the room to help him find clothes. I couldn\’t stand it any longer and couldn\’t help but say, \”Are you going to keep spoiling him like this? You can\’t stay with him forever. Sooner or later you have to let him go!\” She said that she only understood this truth now. If she had thought about it earlier, Understand, the child would not have become like this, hated by everyone, and the couple was really heartbroken. They had this one child, and after giving birth to this precious baby, they loved him so much that they were almost obedient. As long as he cries, makes a fuss, or becomes unhappy, just do whatever he wants. Even though I knew it was bad, I still couldn\’t do it. Take eating for example. He is very picky about food. He only likes to eat potatoes and lotus roots since he was a child. If these two are not available, he will not eat. At that time, someone gave them some advice: ignore him if he doesn\’t eat, and don\’t give him any snacks. He will naturally eat when he is hungry, and his picky eating problem will gradually be cured. They also tried, but it didn\’t last more than half an hour. When they heard him crying heartbrokenly, they felt so distressed that they couldn\’t help themselves and hurriedly went to stir-fry his favorite dishes. His parents gave in again and again, and he succeeded again and again, making him stubborn and domineering, and he would get angry at the slightest disobedience. There is also dressing. When he first learned to wear clothes, he was also very happy, but he always couldn\’t dress well, and he became unhappy, lost his temper, and cried. His mother saw this and quickly helped him get dressed. ThatIn fact, if you encourage him more and let him try again and again, once he tastes the joy of relying on his own hands to achieve success, it will inevitably greatly increase his confidence in doing other things. Unfortunately, the generous support of his parents made him accustomed to a life of having to stretch out his hands for clothes and food, and also lost his enthusiasm for trying all kinds of new things. Now, he doesn\’t like studying or working, has no friends, is obsessed with mobile games, hangs around every day, and has a bad temper. At school, teachers and classmates don\’t like it, and at home, parents get a headache after seeing it. He is now in the rebellious stage of youth, he cannot be talked about or touched, and he is about to run away from home at every turn. His mother often shed tears in sadness, while his father smoked one chain after another, blaming himself for the evil he had done in his previous life. What evil was committed? It was clear that he didn\’t take care of him when he should have, and he wasn\’t cruel when he should be cruel. He was too pampered and indulgent, and allowed him to grow wildly and produce crooked melons and cracked dates. Who is to blame for being sad? Weird kid? NO! The child does not teach, the father too. The only blame is on myself. I blame myself for not fulfilling my responsibilities as an educator and not teaching my children how to behave. Until now, the children are distressed and the parents are sad. I myself am a recognized cruel mother. When my son was less than two years old, I let him learn to eat on his own. Although he held the spoon awkwardly, it took him a long time to eat a meal, and he would sometimes knock over the bowl. He cried impatiently, but I remained unmoved, encouraged him a few words, and insisted that he do it by himself. . Over time, practice makes perfect, and we don’t have to worry about eating at all. When my son was in kindergarten, I let him sleep in separate rooms. The first night he slept alone, in the middle of the night, he suddenly ran back to our room crying loudly. I ruthlessly carried him back to his little bed, stayed with him, patted his body, and hummed children\’s songs until he fell asleep. After repeating this a few times, he got used to it. He fell in love with his little bed, the bear doll that accompanied him, and his room. Since my son entered the first grade of elementary school, I have allowed him to go to and from school by himself without picking him up. I had familiarized him with the route repeatedly before, reminded him to strictly abide by traffic rules, and made him memorize my phone number. Even so, how can we be completely reassured? During the first few days when he went to school alone, I quietly followed him from a distance. I only breathed a sigh of relief when I watched him enter the campus. After a while, I found that he was completely fine, so I let go completely. Some familiar parents and friends kindly \”blamed\” me: \”Why are you so cruel? He is so small, and his schoolbag is bigger than a person. Don\’t you feel bad? Are you relieved?\” Yes, I feel bad, and I don\’t feel relieved. However, I must be ruthless. If I\’m not cruel, how will he grow up? If I\’m not cruel, how could he learn the skills? If I\’m not cruel, how can he be independent and self-reliant? When my son was in the second grade of elementary school, my cruelty escalated again. I took him on the bus several times and asked him to remember the stops along the way, learn to transfer buses, and remember where to get off. When he was completely fine, I asked him to take two buses to learn Taekwondo, rain or shine. During the Spring Festival this year, I even asked him to do odd jobs in the supermarket. Seeing him laboriously moving boxes of fruits and carrying drinks, sweating profusely and panting, I felt very sad. But I pretended not to see it,Ruthlessly let him persist day after day. When he got the banknotes that he had exchanged with his own hands, he smiled happily. He was filled with pride when he used his hard earned money to buy me a birthday present. Time and time again, my son has grown up very quickly. Now he is very independent and capable. At school, he is the teacher’s little helper, and at home, he is an all-around little housekeeper who doesn’t need to worry about me at all. Lin Bu, a poet from the Song Dynasty, said in \”The Record of Saving Hearts\”: \”A father who is good at teaching his children will teach his children.\” Parents who are good at educating their children start educating their children when they are still young. The ancients knew the importance of early childhood education, let alone modern people. Liu Xiang, a writer of the Western Han Dynasty, also has a famous saying in \”Warring States Policy·Zhao Cesi\”: \”Parents who love their children have far-reaching plans.\” This statement is intended to advise those parents who blindly love and spoil their children to do their best for their children. Think about the future. Pampering and pampering is not good for a child\’s growth. On the contrary, it will cause endless troubles. Learning to let go is a kind of wisdom, and letting go is a deeper love. The best way to educate is to let go appropriately. Let it go when it\’s time to let it go, don\’t procrastinate, hesitate, be determined, or be disturbed by it. If you are unwilling to be cruel to your child, society will not be merciful to him in the future. At that time, your child\’s life will be difficult, and you will inevitably be sad. Let it go! Let your children learn to fly and bravely fight the wind and waves. This is the best love you can give your children.