If you decide to have another child, how can you make your first baby happy and love your second baby?

In my WeChat circle of friends, there are always many mothers who leave messages saying that they want to have a second child, and ask me how I can make the two children love each other and live in harmony. Before Jamie was born, Dad and I agreed: one is a bit too little, two is just right, and three is not too much! (Now my view has changed. Three is too many and it is completely impossible.) When Jamie was just over one year old, many enthusiastic friends urged us to \”have a second child.\” My father and I both felt that it was too early. . And when we decided to have a second child, we did this: feel the glory of being a sister in advance, arrange for Jiemie to play with friends who have younger siblings, and guide her to become a big brother/big sister when she grows up. very nice! She was very envious of being praised for growing up, and envied the sense of glory. In addition, show me some picture books and cartoons with siblings, such as: \”Peppa Pig\”, \”Charlie and Lola\”, \”Beibei Bear Series\”, \”Follower\”, \”Don\’t Interrupt My Dinner\”, \”Little Feifei and the New Brother\”, \”Tom\’s \”Little Sister\”, \”You are all my favorite\”, \”Ah Hui and Sister\”, \”Now you are a sister\”, etc. During the guidance process, tell her that having a DD/MM is a very happy thing. In the haze in winter, children in the north are like caged birds. I told her that if she has DD/MM, she doesn’t have to go out and there will always be someone to play with. I made her feel that I was doing it for her and helping her find a playmate. Try to make her feel more accompanied and responsible. Let Dabao participate in prenatal education and prenatal check-ups. Jie Mi will do \”prenatal education\” on my belly every day, listen to the movement, feel the fetal movements, and then describe her feelings and expectations to me, just like the three of us chatting. Mi\’s father said that after the second child is born, he should let Jie Mi coax him. The second child will definitely be particularly sensitive to his sister\’s voice. Every time she felt fetal movement, I said, \”My brother feels that his sister is touching him and saying hello to you. He also wants to come out and play with his sister quickly.\” Jiemi was very happy to look forward to her brother. of birth. No matter how tired Dabao is, I will never take care of the two children separately. Love will not diminish because of sharing. Both children are my favorite. When choosing a confinement center, whether Dabao can stay with us is an important factor in our choice. The confinement center allocates families with older babies to another floor because they are basically 1-3 years old and are not yet under control. They are afraid of affecting other mothers. However, there is only one nursery, so they cannot stay with their younger babies. On the same floor, every time I was fed, I would be called by phone to feed her, while Jiemi could only watch the surveillance footage on the TV screen in the room. She was extremely looking forward to it but also very disappointed. I couldn\’t see the disappointed look in Jiemi\’s eyes. She had been looking forward to it for so long… So she stayed there for 20 days, and when she was almost recovered, she moved out of the confinement center. Not to mention how happy Jie Mi was now, she hugged him carefully, looked at her brother with loving eyes and kept saying: \”I am sister Jie Mi, I am your sister…Are you hungry? I I can feed you milk.\” Looking at that scene, my eyes became wet. Occasionally, I won\’t scold my sister when she treats her brother lightly. I told her: \”My brother is still a baby now. He needs our gentle care and protection. This is how my father and I treated you when you were as young as my brother. You protect your brother now.\”Brother, when he grows up to be as tall and strong as his father, he can protect you, because you are his dearest sister! \”There is a little thing: Once, Jie Mi was running and playing at home, covering her eyes, and accidentally knocked down her younger brother and hit him on him. The younger brother burst into tears, but Jie Mi preemptively sat next to him and got angry. I picked up my brother and took a look. , turned into a sausage mouth, and the bleeding continued. Although I was nervous and distressed, I still observed Jiemi calmly, and asked her to help me get a tissue. She looked at us timidly, and I got up and went to get it myself. I continued calmly Question: “I know you didn’t mean it, right? \”She nodded, with tears in her eyes. I asked, \”Do you feel sorry for your brother? \”She said \”yes\” with tears in her eyes. I said: \”Then you apologize to your brother, tell him you were careless, say sorry, and then hug your brother. \”She complied gently. I called Mi\’s father and asked her to speak for herself. I asked her father to come back and see if she wanted to take her brother to the hospital. I told her that she could never play this kind of blindfolded running game again. It was too dangerous! If you accidentally bump into your brother in the future, you must help him up first and then do what you did just now instead of walking away angrily. She promised me with tears. Mi dad did not blame her when he came back and held her in his arms It talked about something similar to what I just said. This is definitely the thing she remembers the longest. After that, if she accidentally knocked down or bumped into her brother, she would first help him up and apologize, and then hug him. Don’t put the two There are two types of comparisons made by children: one is a comparison of the personalities and habits of the two children, and the other is a comparison of who loves more? Some mothers think that since the second child is so young and not sensible, it is more important to take care of the eldest child\’s emotions first. , I just obeyed Dabao’s statement that he loves her more. I object to this answer. In my impression, I have never been asked this kind of question. Maybe she didn’t feel any differential treatment, but I just imagine, if Jiemi asked, I would definitely be very upset. Tell her clearly: “You are both my and Daddy’s favorite babies, and we love you equally. \”The reason why we want a second child is to let her experience brotherhood, so that they will not be alone in the process of growing up, and have more happiness, instead of giving her an object of comparison and jealousy! It doesn\’t matter the size, only right and wrong rules are the rules. , regardless of age. The toys and items of both children are shared and exchanged according to their own wishes. For example, on the swing, it is agreed that each person will play 10 times. This is the rule. My younger brother does not understand the rules, but I will help him establish the rules. , this is the so-called habit formation. When there are elderly people at home, I really have to hear it N times a day: \”You have to let your brother…\” I hate people saying: \”The boss is a sister and can help you take care of your brother…\” …\” Every time I hear this statement, I will silently whisper in my heart: \”Sister is not Cinderella. \”I admit it\’s too sensitive, but I don\’t like it anyway. If I could choose, the most perfect combination in my mind is brother + sister: a brave and responsible brother, plus a beautiful and charming little sister. In fact, my sister is in a good mood. When I was young, I would be happy to take care of my younger brother, such as playing house and treating my younger brother as a baby. But I don’t agree with this requirement for my sister. If there is no younger brother, she will also be the youngest baby in the family. Once, IWe were playing in the community park, and the balloon in my brother\’s hand was snatched away by a child of his own age. Before the child could hold the balloon firmly, Jamie took it back and gave it back to his brother, then pulled his brother away. The child\’s grandmother said, \”Look, it\’s better to have brothers and sisters. Go home and ask your mother to give you another brother or sister!\” This was the first time I saw Jie Mi grabbing something. In the past few years, she had always been at a loss when her toys were taken away by others, but she actually changed like this after becoming a sister. This is fraternal love, the embodiment of her love for her brother. This kind of love can make a timid heart brave, and can make a lonely soul hug each other for warmth. When you achieve something, he applauds and praises you. When you encounter setbacks, he gives you encouragement and comfort. Siblings are the best gift that parents can give to their children. Some scenes ▲The elder sister is the idol worshiped by the younger brother and also the object of imitation. ▲Every time I see this kind of scene, I immediately grab my phone/camera to capture it and freeze it. ▲Every day, when my sister comes back from school, before she takes off her coat, her brother rushes to hug her. My sister also asked, \”My sister is at school and dancing. She came back late. Do you miss your sister?\” The scene was too warm, and her brother was basically her baby. When a younger brother feels wronged, he will ask his older sister for a loving hug. ▲This photo of the person falling asleep is neither a snapshot nor a staged shot. During nap time, the person was playing on the bed and then fell asleep… full of love. ▲\”Although brothers are a little angry, they will not give up their relationship.\” ▲No matter how hard it is, as long as I see these pictures, I can be healed instantly.