If you don’t do this now, you will really regret it when your children go to elementary school.

We all know that before a child is 6 years old, it is the golden period for developing habits, because children at this time are the most malleable. But I see too many anxious parents around me who fall into misunderstandings in knowledge learning during their children’s early education, fearing that their children will lose at the starting line. But they neglected that rather than learning knowledge, it is actually more important for preschool children to develop good study habits. It’s never too late to learn anything before laying a solid foundation first. As the saying goes, “sharpening the sword will never stop chopping wood.” This is what I have been reminding myself in the process of educating Dingdang. What do good study habits include? I have been thinking about this issue for a long time. I have summarized the post-school education problems that have received the most feedback from backstage readers since I started writing the official account. For example, after children enter elementary school, it is difficult to read and understand, and they have poor active learning ability and lack of parental guidance. , you will not be able to do your homework well; you will procrastinate in your studies and have no concept of time at all… These most typical educational problems can be classified as failure to do well in the three major habits of reading habits, independent learning, and time management. If these three study habits are not well developed before the children enter school, parents will feel even more miserable when the children arrive in elementary school. 1. Cultivate the habit of reading with books. During the Spring Festival holiday, I had the opportunity to meet many children from relatives and discovered some \”obvious differences\” among the children. For example, some children, because they have not been exposed to books much since childhood, have no interest in reading books at all when they grow up. I buy books for them. Basically, I buy one book and pay for each book. On the contrary, my little nephew has always liked reading because he brainwashed my brother and sister-in-law to read to him since he was a child. During the winter vacation, when other children are watching TV, he can resist temptation and hide in a corner to read. As the children grow up, I find that children who love reading and children who don’t like reading show what Suhomlinsky said in their studies: A child who doesn’t read is a potentially poor student in learning. . How important is it for children to love reading? Yin Jianli once said: \”A child who has experienced various social lives in ancient and modern times and abroad, listened to the wisdom of various schools of thought, and shared countless thinking results through reading will not only be more mature in thinking, but also more perfect in values ​​- at the same time He will have his own independent opinions and will rarely fall into blind obedience and stupidity. What he gains from reading is not only spiritual nourishment, but also psychological strength.\” There is no child who really doesn\’t like reading, but reading habits require time. Cultivated. The earlier you develop reading habits, the better. Generally speaking, 0-6 years old is the golden period for children to read, and the difficulty becomes more and more difficult as the years go by. It’s not that if a child doesn’t develop reading habits before elementary school, he will definitely not like reading in the future, but if you want him to read again, you have to put in more effort. How to develop reading habits? There are many methods, let me talk about the most basic points: 1) Have a fixed reading environment and reading time, so that children can always be with books. Just like in my house, books should not be scattered in multiple corners, so that Ding Dong can be easily accessed; I should ensure a fixed reading time every day (such as half an hour before going to bed) and use fragmented time to read to my children anytime and anywhere. At the same time, we will also lead by example and use reading to promote reading. 2) Choose books that interest your children,Cultivate children\’s concentration and patience. I feel more and more that if you want your children to like reading, you should start with books that interest them. For example, Dingdang loved airplanes the most, so I bought all the books about airplanes and kept talking about them as long as he was willing to read them. As his interest in reading developed, it extended from the theme of airplanes to his favorite topics such as cars and dinosaurs, and then to storybooks…Only books that he is really interested in will be read carefully and repeatedly, thereby cultivating concentration. and patience. 3) Increase the breadth of reading and consolidate children’s reading habits. Children’s reading should focus on both “quality” and “quantity”. In terms of quantity accumulation, let children discover more interesting books, enhance their interest in reading, and further consolidate their reading habits. 4) Transition from shallow reading to deep reading to cultivate children\’s thinking ability. After a certain amount of reading, parents should guide their children to transition from shallow reading to deep reading to cultivate their children\’s thinking ability. Parents can guide their children to pay attention to the details in the book and constantly review and study a certain book. Various forms can also be used to deepen children\’s understanding of books. For example, you can watch movies or cartoons adapted from the book; or parents can use role-playing to interpret the content of the book. Let children have a constant \”freshness\” about reading and continuously deepen their understanding. 2. Cultivate internally driven independent learning habits. A friend told me that since her daughter was in first grade, she has been accompanying her child to do homework every night. When she encounters a problem that the child does not understand, she will patiently explain it until the child understands it. until. Later, she discovered that if she was busy with work and had no time to accompany her, her children would make many mistakes in their homework and seemed to be unable to learn. There are many disadvantages to parents doing homework with them for a long time. Just like my friend\’s daughter, she often gives the answer quickly with the help of her mother, and lacks the exercise of thinking ability. At the same time, because I often rely on my mother\’s help, I have developed a kind of \”learned helplessness\” and feel that I can\’t do anything without my mother. In addition, this kind of \”top-down\” oppressive learning will also make children feel that learning is not their own business, thus forming a passive learning habit. After all, a child\’s learning path must be taken by himself. The sooner he learns to be independent, the better it will be for him. The cultivation of independent learning habits is to gradually let go on the basis of children\’s continuous improvement of self-management ability, cultivate children\’s internal drive, and learn to solve problems independently. Here comes the key point. What is internal drive? It means that children have a motivation to do things out of their inner needs. You may think that \”intrinsic drive\” seems professional and abstract, and you have no way to start. Then let\’s take a look at what the famous motivation theory psychologists Deci and Ryan say. They summarize intrinsic drive into three basic psychological needs: A sense of belonging, autonomy, and competence. If these three psychological needs are met, the child\’s inner drive will be improved. 1) Sense of belonging: Even if I don’t do well, I am still loved. If you want your children to have “internal drive”, you must first give them strength! Nowadays, children are so well-nourished and smart. Many children lack \”internal drive\” not because they have no power, but because they put too much pressure on themselves.The power is used in \”fear\” and \”confrontation\”. And only \”unconditional love\” can stop children\’s \”fear\” and \”antagonism\”. \”Unconditional love\” does not mean unconditionally condoning children\’s mistakes, but that we must firmly ask children to correct while also tenderly expressing love to children. ● \”Studying is your own business. Mom will always love you, but you have to do your homework well.\” ● \”Hitting is wrong. Dad will always be with you, but you must apologize to your classmates.\” Let the children feel that, Even if I don\’t do well, my parents still love me and are willing to accompany me to change. This will be the motivation for the children to try and act next time. When they encounter difficulties in learning, they will be more brave. 2) Sense of autonomy: I am a powerful person. One of the biggest problems in family education today is: saying that children don’t know anything, yet doing everything for them. This invisibly deprives children of the opportunity to experience their own abilities, deprives children of the opportunity to exert their \”intrinsic drive\”, and develops children\’s dependence on their parents. If you want your children to experience their own power more from an early age, I suggest starting from the following two points: Sometimes if we want to cultivate our children\’s \”internal drive\”, the first thing we need to control is our impulse to help our children. Within a reasonable range of difficulty, what children need is companionship and encouragement, not substitution and arrogance. When children find that their parents really don’t want to help them, and it’s useless to cry on their own, they will naturally change their minds and start thinking about how to solve problems on their own, activating their own “internal drive”. When they encounter problems in their studies in the future, they will also get used to it. to solve. In fact, encourage children to \”question\” and \”explore\” more. Children like to ask all kinds of strange questions. We must not be annoyed at this time, because this is the bud of children\’s \”learning drive\” – ​​children want to know knowledge. ask. We must work hard to answer the children with a cheerful attitude. When we have time and energy, accompany and encourage the children to find the answers through field exploration, reading books, and asking people. The reason why many children\’s grades are poor is precisely because they \”don\’t understand but don\’t want to ask, and are embarrassed to ask.\” More and more students don\’t know how to do it, so they simply give up. In the process of \”questioning\” and \”exploring\”, children will develop the habit of \”finding out if there is any problem\”, and leave the impression that \”learning is a good thing\” and \”learning is happy\”, which is very beneficial. The development of children’s “learning consciousness”. There are many ways to cultivate internal drive. You can read the article I wrote before. If you don’t pay attention to this matter, the more your children learn, the harder it will be! 3. Develop good time management habits. Through regular observation, we also discovered a very common problem, that is, children like to procrastinate and dawdle in all kinds of ways. This is probably the educational problem that causes parents the most headaches and is at their wits\’ end. Regarding this issue of how to help children develop a good sense of time, I have consulted a lot of information and summed up some experience with Dingdang.