If you don’t know how to praise your children, just memorize these 5 sentences

The Spring Festival Gala sketch \”Can\’t Open My Mouth\” resonated with many people. The son in the show has just been admitted to college, and his father is very happy and proud. In front of reporters, relatives and friends, he proudly said that his children are independent, studious and capable, and have never let their parents worry. But as soon as the child appeared, he immediately put away his smile and switched to reproachful language. Sometimes they call the child a \”bad boy\”, and sometimes they criticize the child for \”spending money\” and \”moving slowly\”. In short, there is no good word. As soon as the child left, he praised the child to others with a smile on his face. Others reminded this father that he must praise his children in person. But the father tried for a long time, but couldn\’t speak. This father who never praises his children face to face is very much like the parents of most of us. They are used to giving silently, but never thought of expressing it; their love is always serious and silent, deep and complicated. In fact, we get along with our children day and night every day, every expression is a kind of guidance, and every word has an impact. How to say it and what to say are worthy of every parent to think and learn. The following five sentences are shared with everyone, hoping to help children grow up healthily. You\’ve done a great job. Mr. Toad in the book \”Mr. Toad Goes to a Psychologist\” grew up with his father\’s criticism and blame. His father always scolded him for various things, and said in the coldest voice: \”Go back to your room. I haven\’t thought about how to apologize, and you are not allowed to go downstairs.\” He felt that his father had never been satisfied with him. And I have been trying to please my father and make him happy. Many children grow up in the denial of their parents. It seems that no matter how hard they try, they only get blame and dissatisfaction. Slowly it became a \”pleasant personality\”. When they grew up, they never dared to express themselves truly for fear of being unhappy with those around them; they always wronged themselves and tried every means to seek recognition. They gradually discover that the black hole left in their hearts during childhood may never be filled in their entire lives. And those children who grow up with encouragement and recognition are full of confidence and confidence. A mother attended a parent-teacher meeting in a kindergarten and the teacher said: \”Your child has ADHD and can\’t even concentrate for three minutes.\” When she got home, she told her child: \”The teacher said you couldn\’t sit still for one minute before, but now you can hold on.\” It’s been 3 minutes. Mom thinks you’re doing a good job.” In elementary school, the teacher said, “There are 50 people in the class, and your child ranks 49th. We think he has an intellectual problem.” When she got home, she told her child, “Mom, I think you’re doing a good job.” He works hard and can surpass his classmates as long as he keeps working hard. He is now ranked 21st. In middle school, the teacher said: \”According to your child\’s current situation, it is very dangerous to pass the key high school.\” When she got home, she told her child: \”Mom is very happy.\” , the teacher said, you have hope of getting into a key high school. \”The same sentence, some people say it\’s a biting cold wind, some people say it\’s a spring breeze. In this way, with the constant encouragement of his mother, the child was finally admitted to Tsinghua University. I agree with a saying: \”It is better to count ten pieces than to win one piece.\” No child is willing to admit that he is worse than others. They are all golden sunflowers growing towards the sun. Praise is sunshine and nutrients, helping children to be confidentThe children hold their heads high and grow brilliantly; encouragement is an inspiration and a kind of affirmation, giving children the full confidence to accept themselves. We might as well start from now on and give our children more recognition to help them establish an inner safety order; we might as well give them more acceptance and stimulate their inner motivation to do things. Let’s find a solution together. Have you ever had such troubles? The child\’s room is always messy, and he doesn\’t want to tidy it up no matter what. Or maybe after helping the children tidy up, a few hours later it’s a mess again. Some parents even beat and scold their children, but the effect lasts less than a week. \”I Wish My Parents Read This Book\” divides the behavior of disciplining children into three types: strict, loose, and cooperative. Faced with the problem of \”the room is too messy\”, the three types of parents express themselves in different ways and have different impacts. Strict parents believe that authority is overwhelming. Usually, the command is said with a hint of threat: \”You\’d better clean up immediately, or I will throw away all your toys.\” Some children will choose to obey out of fear and do as they are told. Some children are very stubborn and increasingly want to confront their parents. Regardless of the situation, education has since fallen into a vicious cycle. Loose parents tend not to set limits for their children, nor do they have too many expectations for their children. When a child doesn\’t want to clean their room, they don\’t force them to do it. This method makes the child feel comfortable in the short term, but in the long run, it does not help the child to truly grow. Cooperative parents will think with their children about how to do the things at hand together. They will first communicate with their children about their feelings about \”tidying up the room\” to find out what the children really think. Next, we will discuss with the children the plan for tidying up the room: when to tidy it up, how to tidy it up, how everyone will divide the work, etc. In this process, cooperative parents always play the role of a persuasive guide rather than a strong decision-maker. They do not define their children, nor do they make clear requirements, nor do they deny their children\’s ideas. Instead, let the child take the lead in the whole thing, return the decision-making power to the child, and provide the child with the help he thinks he needs in a timely manner. The poem \”To Children\” writes: \”What you can give your children is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts.\” Squat down, put down your posture, and say \”I tell you what to do.\” Change to \”Let\’s figure it out together\” and learn to be a \”cooperative parent\”. Don\’t worry, every child is more capable than we think. Becoming friends with children gives children an opportunity to get close to their parents, and also gives parents the possibility to understand their children. I believe you heard such a conversation in the elevator going home. The daughter said excitedly: \”Mom, Mom, today three students\’ paintings were praised by the teacher and posted in the classroom. One of them is mine!\” The mother lowered her head and played with her mobile phone while saying: \”Really False.\” My daughter said, \”It\’s true. If you don\’t believe it, go into the classroom and take a look when you send me off tomorrow.\” After hearing this, the mother said coldly, \”It\’s amazing that your painting can be praised. Come out.\” The little girl was silent, her eyesTears welling up in her eyes, she silently turned her face to the wall, holding the advertising paper in the elevator with her little hands. It\’s really distressing to watch. Children need affirmation for their growth. Parents who always challenge and question their children verbally will make children fall into self-doubt and even give up on themselves. The famous educator Tao Xingzhi once said: \”The whole secret of educating children is to believe in and liberate children.\” The power of belief is far greater than we imagine. Yale scholar Li Tuoyuan is very grateful to his mother for trusting him. When he was traveling when he was a child, his mother would give him the task of making strategies. Even if he did not do it perfectly and was not thoughtful, she would not deny him. When he was in junior high school, he participated in an international competition and won an award, and needed to go to Japan to receive the award. Considering that Li Tuoyuan is the only winner in Fujian Province, is young and does not have a teacher to lead the team, the organizers believe that it is not suitable for him to go to Japan alone to receive the award. However, my mother trusted him to do it. His mother encouraged him to contact the organizer himself, express his strong desire to go to Japan to receive the award, and ask the organizer for help. He also encouraged him to contact the leading teacher in Guangdong and ask to be able to accompany him. After some hard work, Li Tuoyuan finally got what he wanted. Parents\’ deliberate delegation of authority gives children the opportunity to challenge difficulties and solve problems. Saying \”I believe\” gives children the courage to become more confident and stride forward in the sunshine; saying \”You can\” gives children the strength to make them more courageous and face difficulties in the wind and rain. Parents who learn to be \”hands-off shopkeepers\” can make their children\’s wings fuller. I apologize to you, I will correct this. A few days ago, education blogger @Guoguo’s mother appeared in the CCTV news live broadcast room to talk to the host about education issues. Previously, she posted a video that became a hot search topic and received many likes and praises. In the video, Guoguo is sitting on the ground, with \”unhappiness\” written all over her face, listing her dissatisfaction with her mother one by one. Guoguo said: \”When I am doing my homework, don\’t say those words, it will affect my performance. Don\’t say things like \’Can\’t you do this?\’\” Mom said: \”Okay, I heard it, I will change this.\” Guoguo then said: \”Don\’t always praise others and say how well they study.\” Mom said: \”I compared you with others, this is true. No, I apologize to you.\” Guoguo also said, \”Now you are starting to verbally abuse me. When I pinched my fingers, you said you were going to chop my fingers off.\” Mom was patient and kind to every question. With a positive response, Guoguo\’s mood became more and more peaceful. At the end of the video, he showed a cute smile and said to his mother: \”Now, we can hug.\” The moment when mother and son hugged, countless netizens were moved. One of the high-like comments wrote: \”I cried just watching it. I also want to have a mother like this.\” Yes, there is a saying: \”Some children spend their whole lives waiting for an apology from their parents.\” Or because They can\’t save face, or they are worried that they will lose their sense of authority if they bow to their children, or they don\’t realize their own problems. Many parents never apologize to their children. \”Zuo Zhuan\” says: \”Who has no faults? If you can correct your faults, there is no greater good.\” Parents are also ordinary people who make mistakes and cannot be perfect. Sometimes, we might as well listen to our children’s grievances and accept themFace the child\’s dissatisfaction, face up to your own shortcomings, say: \”I apologize to you, I will change this\”, and then give the child a big hug. Good family education means that parents and children grow up at the same time. Learning to apologize to your children is a compulsory course for parents. This lesson teaches us to become better parents and make our children happier and more secure children. Thank you, my children’s family education expert Fu Liping told such a story. Her friend is like many parents of second-child families. After the birth of the little baby, the eldest baby had various problems. After this friend gave birth to his younger daughter, it became difficult for him to communicate with his older son. Whatever his parents asked him to do, he would do it. Once, when a friend was giving his sister a bath, the brother was crying and acting coquettishly, insisting on being held by his mother. But at this time, how could my mother be free? The mother said to her son: \”Mom needs your help now. Can you help bring my sister\’s shower gel?\” The son was stunned for a moment, stopped crying, and immediately turned around and brought the shower gel to his mother. The mother looked at her son with a smile and said sincerely: \”Thank you, son. If it weren\’t for your help, it would have been very difficult for the mother to hold her sister while getting the shower gel.\” The son wiped away the tears and became happy. , asking her mother: \”Is there anything else you need my help with? Do you need a towel?\” Her mother\’s thanks gave her brother the motivation to take care of his sister. He no longer feels like the neglected child in his family, but an important member of the family. Usually, we express our feelings with our children in a reserved way. But if the words are not spoken, how can they be conveyed to the children\’s hearts. Saying \”thank you\” is not pretentious or superficial, but expresses true inner feelings. Never be stingy with our gratitude to our children. We can tell our children: \”Thank you for not interrupting mom\’s work just now. What originally took an hour was completed in 40 minutes.\” \”Thank you for discreeting all the meals today. Mom feels very accomplished.\” Thank you for sharing school affairs with your mother. I feel very happy to be trusted by you. \”There are too many things in life that are worthy of saying \”thank you\” to our children. When we express gratitude directly, we can not only let the children understand their own value, but also teach them to be grateful. A family where parents and children are grateful to each other must be full of love and warmth. I very much agree with this passage: The meaning of parents’ existence is not to give their children a comfortable and prosperous life, but when you think of your parents, your heart will be full of strength and warmth, so that you will have the courage and ability to overcome difficulties. Gain the joy and freedom of life. Raising children is never about torture and consumption, but about accompanying each other and walking through a beautiful journey of life. Along the way, making children happy because of us and warm because of their families is a kind of success. When children are frustrated, we encourage them; when children have difficulties, we help; when children hesitate, we believe; when children are dissatisfied, we change; when children give, we thank them… Our words will have a subtle influence and nourish happiness. A colorful childhood will build a warm harbor for children when they grow up.Bay.