If you don’t let go of the pain of raising a child, he really won’t know! Don\’t believe it

Can you think about the problem from the other person\’s perspective? able. In order to make the other person feel comfortable listening to what you say. However, after finally standing over, he couldn\’t really feel it, and he was annoyed by the nice words he said. So, let him go, what you hear will make you burst into tears… During the winter vacation two years ago, Baoduo\’s father was free early because he was a teacher. We were going back to our hometown to celebrate the Spring Festival. Since the Spring Festival transportation was really terrible, it became harder and harder to buy train tickets as it got closer to the Spring Festival. In the end, we decided to go separate ways. Baoduo’s dad went back to his hometown first, and I insisted on not going back until the company’s New Year’s Eve holiday. Then, the most difficult question comes – who should Bao Duo follow? Baoduo\’s father said: \”Of course he is following me.\” I admit that he is right. First of all, Baoduo Kindergarten is on winter vacation. If he stays here, it is impossible for me to take him to work. In this case, he will have to be sent to a caretaker institution. It will cost more Not to mention a sum of money, I picked him up and dropped him off by myself, and I was too busy to take care of him. Secondly, Bao Duo has been looking forward to the winter vacation for a long time, and he can finally have some fun. If I keep him in the custody institution, he will definitely be in a bad mood. But, but, Baoduo has never experienced winter in the north. Besides, after ten days away, can Baoduo, a careless man like his father, take good care of him? Apart from anything else, I can\’t trust Baoduo\’s father when it comes to covering up the quilt at night. He is the kind of person who won\’t wake up even if there is thunder above his head. What if the child catches a cold while kicking off the quilt? You know, when a child has a fever at night, when I wake him up and tell him that he has a fever, he just responds and then falls back to sleep, which makes people want to kick him out of bed. For several days in a row, I couldn\’t talk to Baoduo\’s dad properly whenever I mentioned the matter of returning to my hometown. Baoduo\’s father happily bought the ticket. The two of them looked forward to the life back home. I frowned on the side, not knowing who to be angry with. I even thought that on the day they came home, I secretly hid Baoduo, so that Baoduo’s father would have to leave by himself. At worst, I would take my children to work. It’s hard work, I’m willing to do it! During those days when I was struggling, Baoduo was not idle either. Like a little man, he kept giving me \”psychological counseling\”. It might have been taught by my father, but I didn\’t ask Baoduo\’s father. Baoduo said: \”Mom, I have grown up. I am four years old. Didn\’t you say that boys can leave their mother for a few days when they are four or five years old?\” \”Mom, don\’t miss me. More You can’t cry. I won’t cry either.” When he said this, I almost burst into tears, okay! Finally, Baoduo\’s father said: \”You have to believe me, you have to believe that he is my biological son, not picked up by me, and I will definitely take care of him. Come on, come on, hand out red envelopes, and you can have fun by yourself after we leave.\” \”Okay, now that the matter is over, I have nothing to say. I comfort myself with the fact that the two of them went on a short trip before. At least they had the experience of being alone together, and nothing happened at that time. When it was time to leave, I sent them both off to the train with great sadness. They left at noon, and I got off work in the evening. When I thought that no one was waiting for me at home, I went shopping. I walked slowly on the commercial street and tried on clothes from store to store. I have to admit that new clothes bring a lot more comfort to women than imagined, even though I usually don’tI am passionate about shopping. After trying on clothes one by one, I feel better instantly. Once I feel good, I start shopping. After buying new clothes, I feel like nothing is a big deal. Just like that, I went shopping after work on the first day, made an appointment with friends for dinner after work on the second day, went to find a snack that I had wanted for a long time by myself in the evening of the third day, and… on the fourth day… I had arrangements every day after get off work. It was like a prison sentence in a labor camp. A full feeling of release. When I couldn\’t stop being \”high\”, I received complaints from Baoduo\’s dad. Because I\’m not around, he has to do everything to take care of the child. He has changed from a man who never sleeps until dawn at night to a dad who automatically wakes up two or three times a night to put the quilt on. When he wakes up the next day, he is carrying a panda on his back. I continued to take care of the child, but the child was very energetic and refused to take a nap. So, he couldn’t even take a nap, because even if he fell on the bed, within five minutes, Baoduo would wake him up: “Dad, I waited for a long time to wake him up. Wake you up, can you accompany me now?\” Baoduo\’s father said: \”Honey, has this been the way you have been here for the past four years? Then you have worked really hard!\” When I heard this, I was speechless and felt five emotions in my heart. Miscellaneous. Yes, in the past four years, I have not slept a full night. I wake up at least once a night, sometimes three times, not to mention when the child is sick. If you don\’t sleep well, you will be particularly lack of energy, weak, and have back pain the next day. At first I would complain a few words about the pain, and Baoduo\’s dad would also comfort me a few words, but he couldn\’t understand it. The words of comfort were always neither painful nor itchy, and they couldn\’t relieve my fatigue. Later, when he complained more and more, he became impatient and even said something like, \”No one else is tired, so why are you the only one complaining all day long?\” I really couldn\’t breathe at that time and wanted to die. I felt that I was really blind at the beginning. How could I find such a cold-blooded and ruthless man! Next, quarrels, cold wars, and alienation became inevitable results. Just when I was doubting whether he was a good husband and a responsible person, I suddenly received this sentence. How could I not feel emotional! At the same time, I began to reflect on how few people without shared experiences share similar feelings. For four years, I thought that as a mother, I had to put myself in the first position of taking care of my children. And my husband, I thought he was at most a helper. I never thought that I would step back and let him step forward and become the mother. \”First person responsible\”. He has never experienced the hard work of the \”first responsible person\”, and he has no way of saying the word \”empathy\”. Without empathy, how can he feel compassion? In recent years, more and more people have paid attention to the harmonious development of family relationships. People often call on fathers to value the family and participate in the growth process of their children. While we appeal, we forget to step back and make way for the father of the child. We also talk about letting go of our children and not taking care of everything, but we forget that we can’t take care of our husband’s learning to be a good father either. We work so hard that we have done most of the work of taking care of our children, leaving only a few \”leftovers\” for the fathers. After they have done this easily, they feel proud and think that this little work is all there is to raising children. . Your exhausting work turns into hypocrisy in his eyes. There is a saying: The relationship between mother and child is natural, while the relationship between father and childChildren\’s feelings are developed. If the child is not given to him, how can he cultivate a relationship with the child and inspire his sense of responsibility as a father? If the child is not given to him, he will not be able to understand the hardships of the child\’s mother. Therefore, if you don’t let go of some things, you really don’t know in which direction they will develop. If you are also lamenting that your hard work cannot be recognized, instead of doubting whether your husband is responsible, it is better to stop and reflect on whether you have done too much for your husband. If you are really tired, then let go of your anxiety, find yourself an airtight reason, give yourself a vacation, even if it is just for a few hours, and see what it will be like to let go. Postscript: My Baoduo did catch a cold and a fever when he and his father were at home, but many children also had colds and fevers at that time. I cannot simply and crudely attribute Baoduo\’s illness to Baoduo\’s father\’s poor care. On the night when Baoduo had a fever, Baoduo\’s father stayed up almost all night, taking his temperature every three hours, giving medicine and water. What he did was no different from what I usually do. But I, because I was thousands of miles away, couldn\’t do anything, so I slept until dawn.