If you don’t set rules for your children, how can you give them freedom?

Some people say that raising children is a process of constantly upgrading and fighting monsters, and parents must always face new challenges from their children. indeed so. No, summer vacation is here. Rooney stays at home all day. When he gets bored, he asks to watch TV, play with iPad, eat snacks, etc. Although there is an agreement in advance that TV cannot be watched for more than 40 minutes and snacks cannot be eaten before meals, how can a child be good? To cooperate with you? For this reason, we often clash, and of course I win most of the time, haha! So Rooney sighed: \”Adults are so happy, they can do whatever they want, but children can\’t do it. They have to listen to adults for everything.\” When I first heard this, not only did I not get angry or refute, but I was pleasantly surprised: The children have really grown up. I began to summarize and express my own opinions on what happened around me. But after hearing him sigh like this again and again, I felt the need to have a good talk with him, so I said seriously: \”Actually, adults don\’t just do whatever they want. Adults also have to abide by many rules. For example, when going out to drive, you must You must obey the traffic rules; when you go to work, you must listen to the instructions of your leader. Even though you are still young, you must abide by the agreement between us. These are the rules.\” Yes, no one in this world can enjoy absolute freedom. Freedom to do whatever you want? Everyone must do things within certain rules and boundaries. Only by letting children understand this as early as possible can they move towards \”freedom\” better. In the past, in most families, parents maintained absolute authority, and the parents had the final say in all matters concerning their children, resulting in a group of children who had no independent opinions and were submissive. But now, the situation has reversed. More and more parents claim to give their children \”love and freedom\”, \”respect\” their children\’s nature, and listen to their children\’s opinions in everything, but they neglect to set rules for their children and fail to cultivate their children\’s ethics. The sense of rules leads some children to do things without fear, and they not only become the \”little bully\” in the family, but also become the \”naughty child\” that everyone hates. For example, in restaurants, they ignore others, make loud noises, and run up and down the aisles; in supermarkets, they play with rice and flour and scatter them everywhere; in parks, they occupy public resources such as slides and swings and do not let other children Play and wait. A naughty child who is fearless and ignores the rules not only brings trouble and irritation to others, but may also cause irreparable harm to others. Not long ago, such a tragedy occurred in Changsha, Hunan: a 5-year-old boy carried a 2-year-old girl back to the elevator as a prank, pressed the 18th floor button, and left her alone in the elevator. The guardrail on the 18th floor happened to be damaged, causing the little girl to fall to her death after getting out of the elevator. Judging from the surveillance display, what happened is as follows: the 2-year-old girl Lily, the 5-year-old boy and another little sister walked into the elevator together. The elevator button was originally on the 9th floor, but the 5-year-old boy jumped a few times and lit up the button on the 18th floor. After reaching the 9th floor, all three children got out of the elevator. But not long after, the 5-year-old boy carried Lily back to the elevator. In this way, 2-year-old Lily was taken to the 18th floor by the elevator, walked out, and fell soon after. Of course, there are many reasons for this tragedy, such as poor property supervision, large guardians, etc.Intentional negligence, etc., but this behavior of the little boy is most worthy of our reflection. A 5-year-old child, if his parents educate him properly, should know how to use the elevator correctly, and should also be aware of the dangers of leaving a 2-year-old sister alone in the elevator, but this little boy has no awareness at all. , which shows how indulgent their parents usually are. Maybe some parents will say, isn’t it a child’s nature to be naughty? Doesn’t it mean that children should be allowed to explore freely and fully experience the world when they are young? As for the rules, they will naturally follow them when they grow up. This is nonsense! How can we suddenly possess the consciousness that should be cultivated since childhood? Unless there is magic! It is true to give children love and freedom, but that does not mean letting them go! I have always advocated the education of love and freedom. I allow children to explore freely. Sometimes, I would rather trouble myself than stop the children. However, while I allow my children to explore freely, I also require them to abide by at least three principles: do not harm themselves, do not harm others, and do not affect the environment. Not to hurt yourself, first of all, you must tell your children that you will always love yourself, and also let your children know that you are worthy of being loved, so you cannot hurt yourself at any time; secondly, let your children know what is dangerous and what Be safe and know how to protect yourself. Not to harm others means to be kind to others and not to attack others actively. Not affecting the environment means abiding by the rules and not causing trouble for others. Maybe some parents will say that a bold child is better than a submissive child, right? In fact, naughty children seem to be bold and bold, but in fact they are like paper tigers and vulnerable. Once they meet someone stronger than them or suffer condemnation and criticism from society, they will immediately shrink their heads into safe protection like a turtle. In the shell. Especially after experiencing a series of blows, they will behave more and more cowardly outside, and in the end they can only go home and continue to behave in a den. Why is this happening? Because every child, when they are young and weak, hopes to have strong and powerful parents to protect them. Parents with naughty children usually have no principles and no boundaries. They are either obedient to their children or inconsistent with their words and deeds. They have no authority in front of their children. How can such parents make their children trust and rely on them? When children find that their parents are not worth relying on, they feel extremely panicked and insecure. As a result, they had no choice but to do more and more outrageous things, testing the boundaries of adults over and over again in order to get real protection. As parents, we must not only give our children love and freedom, but also establish the authority that parents should have and set rules for their children. Establishing rules and letting children know the boundaries of how to behave can better protect children and give them a sufficient sense of security and responsibility, thereby supporting them to move smoothly in society and gain more freedom and happiness in the future.