If you fail to realize your ideal, your children will not bear the blame.

2016 is coming to an end soon, and everyone has to enter the new year whether they like it or not. After lunch, several women sat together and chatted, looking back at every moment of the year and lamenting how time flies and the years are wasted. A said that I was writing a year-end work summary a few days ago. I went back and forth on those things. It is the same every year. After one year, it seems that I have done nothing. B said, who can say otherwise? Since having the baby, most of my thoughts have been on this little thing. I have not made any progress at work, but my weight has only improved. C said, yes, since I had my baby, I no longer talk about my ideals. He is my biggest ideal. I will tell him from now on that your mother was also an enterprising young man back then, but she accomplished nothing because of you. D, who has always been silent, said: Before having a baby, I didn’t see anyone achieving any ideals. Now, it was everyone\’s turn to be silent. As women, especially women who have given birth to children, we naturally put most of the responsibility for not making progress on our children and families. What about the previous responsibilities? When I couldn\’t sleep at night, I thought about this problem seriously. I am the mother of a child, and I am about to become the mother of two children. Can I now confidently say that it was only in order to raise these two children that I became what I once despised. It seemed possible, but during the day D\’s words immediately popped up: Did you realize your ideal before giving birth? I was immediately frightened by this question. Although I got married late, I gave birth to children late. I didn’t give birth to my eldest son until I was thirty. Putting aside the time when I was studying, in the best years of my life, my twenties, what things did I do that made me remember deeply, and what things had a major impact on my life? Have I realized my ideals? After much deliberation, apart from graduating, getting married, and finding a job, there is nothing else. When there was no bondage or pressure, nothing was done. Aren\’t those years also in vain? I looked up photos from a few years ago before I had children. Although I was thinner, I didn\’t seem any younger than now. On the contrary, in the past few years after giving birth, I have been experiencing different changes every year. Work hard to do a better job, spend more time studying in your spare time, start exercising, and start writing in your spare time. These things were almost impossible before having children. Whether it is the child that binds the woman, or the woman who is successful, has different manifestations in different people. Maverick Maverick is an author I have been paying attention to in recent years. I first stumbled upon it on a blog, and later on a public account, and even bought her book to read. To be honest, I didn’t quite agree with this girl who was younger than me at first. The chicken blood in her books didn’t suit me. I even thought that the reason why she became popular was mainly due to opportunities. Well, if you start writing inspirational articles before there are any, you will have a head start. In fact, the articles are not written with great literary talent. A big change in her attitude happened this year. She started to update the official account articles every day at the beginning of the year. Later I learned that all the articles were written when she was pregnant with her second child. Before she resigned, she went to work every day, Write in the evening. I continued writing the day before I was about to give birth., started updating original content a few days after giving birth. This spirit alone is worthy of admiration. Having children not only did not hinder her, but instead inspired her fighting spirit and made her work harder to be a better version of herself. Friend G has had a dream of making her own desserts for many years. Most of the time, she can only think about this dream. This year, one of her two children has entered primary school and the other has entered kindergarten. The eldest child has to bring snacks every day, and the younger child has activities in the kindergarten from time to time. For the child\’s health, she moved back a small oven and wanted to make some bread and cakes for the children. Most of the dishes that were made at first were not good-looking, either because the heat was not good or the shape was not beautiful, but the two children argued that their mother\’s recipe was the most delicious. Slowly, the cakes and breads she makes are getting better and better. In addition to the recipes found online, she also creates many of her own. She can make all kinds of snacks and snacks. Many friends have eaten the pastries she made and thought they were more delicious and beautiful than the ones she bought. At this time, she always looks at others eating with a smile, and then says, my little ideal has finally come true. There are many women who slowly move closer to their ideals because they have children, and even more women forget their ideals because they have children. They regard their children as the best shield. Not long ago, \”My Mom is a Useless Middle-aged Woman\” hit the screen. The reason why it has such a high spread rate is probably because it touched the hearts of many mothers. I worked so hard to give up my ideals and raised my children, but when my children grew up, they were rejected, and I couldn\’t help but feel sad about it. Of course, I believe it is more of a wake-up call. Motherhood is a very difficult profession, and sometimes putting in all your efforts may not achieve the desired results. Many women struggle with it throughout their lives. The difference between a mother and a nanny is that the nanny only cares about her child\’s life and nothing else has anything to do with her. Mother is not good. In addition to taking care of the child\’s food, drink, and toilet, she has a more important mission. She is the child\’s support, the child\’s role model, the child\’s benchmark, and the person the child relies on. The child\’s growth is inseparable from the mother\’s personal growth. Therefore, giving up ideals for children is a false proposition. The real reason is that children are used as a shield for self-exile. We have to understand that only when we are well can our children be well.