If you love me, please tell me

In my memory, my parents are both very serious and serious people. Growing up, I have never heard them tell me that they like me, let alone tell me that they love me. In their eyes, \”love\” is like a forbidden word that they are ashamed to speak. In a small town like ours, I have never seen other parents express love to their children. Of course, parents should keep a distance from each other in front of their children. They should not sit next to each other while watching TV. They should walk in tandem when going out. They should also express their disgust and impatience to each other appropriately. This seems to be appropriate. As a parent, you have the moral requirement not to bring up bad children. I remember that my sister and I often fought for favor when we were young. She thought that my father only loved me and not her, and I thought that my mother only loved my sister and not me. We have gone tearfully to see if we are loved, only to be told to go away or scolded that we should not argue. At that time, I really wanted to hear my mother say to me personally: \”Baby, of course mom loves you, just as much as she loves her sister!\” Children really need this kind of sure and unquestionable love. I have loved reading books since I was a child. The parents and grandparents in the books would always lovingly hug the children who made mistakes or the children who were worthy of pride, and sweetly said that they would love them forever. How envious I was at that time! It was also at that time that I began to feel that fairy tales and stories were all lies, because I could not get such passionate love. Now that I am almost 30 years old, I understand more and more that my parents\’ love is reflected in their efforts year after year. They just can\’t express it, and their love will not be diminished in the slightest. But there is always a little girl living in my heart, longing to be told by her beloved relatives that they love me. I watched every season of \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, \”Dad Is Back\”, and \”Mom is Superman\” without missing a minute. I like to watch parent-child programs, not to watch celebrities, but to feel family affection from the perspective of a bystander, learn parenting skills, and reflect on my own shortcomings. Whenever I see these celebrity parents and their children saying \”I love you\” to each other without any scruples, I am really moved from the bottom of my heart. The love between parents and children is the purest and unadulterated. When we look for a lifelong partner, we often fall in love with the other person\’s talent, appearance, character, and personality, or consider the other person\’s strength, or pay attention to the right match. When it comes to children, our love is innate and does not require any additional conditions. Even if this little person deprives you of your freedom and youth and demands endlessly from you, you will still love without hesitation. Why should this beautiful nature be hidden because of shyness and reserve? Before I even gave birth to a child, I was determined to be a different parent from my parents. After my son was born, I would say to him every day: \”Baby, I love you!\” At first, my mother-in-law couldn\’t help but say: \”You are so disgusting, why do you say it every day?\” I said: \” Since you love him, you have to let him know!\” My mother-in-law said, \”He will know if you are good to him. Why bother to say it out? It\’s so embarrassing. Besides, he is still young and can\’t understand!\” Make it a habit to express love. Don’t feel it’s unnecessary or embarrassed. What’s the point of loving your children?Sorry, who cares? You can also try to talk about it! \”At first, she couldn\’t say it out loud. Later, she changed as she saw me saying it all the time. Now, I hear my mother-in-law say from time to time at home: \”My good grandson, grandma loves you!\” Even when my husband asked his mother-in-law not to work so hard for him, she blurted out: \”You are my son, I love you, and I am willing to work hard for you!\” \”I laughed loudly next to me, because I know that there is no obstacle to expressing love in our family now. How could the child not understand? As he grows up day by day, he becomes more and more accurate in understanding the emotions of others. capture. Whenever I say: “Love you, baby! \”He would giggle out loud. Whenever he was too naughty, I said: \”If you keep doing this, mom won\’t love you!\” \”He would rush towards me begging for a hug. Every day when I went to work, my one-year-old baby would raise a hand and blow me a kiss. Every day when I got home from work, my baby would kiss me heavily on both sides of my face. The day before yesterday, my mother-in-law was sitting on a small stool. The stool fell apart and she fell. Later, we reassembled the stool, but as long as someone sat on it, the baby would scream in worry, babbling, until we moved to another place to sit. He will be relieved. He has become a child who is good at expressing love and care, just as I expected. Parents are a mirror for children. What kind of example you set, he will learn from it. You Express the love in your heart passionately, and your children will express their love for you without hesitation. I remember that the year before last, a colleague was preparing to have a second child. She said that when her daughter found out, she ran to the balcony and said she wanted to jump off the building. She and her husband were anxious and angry, so they took their daughter back into the house and beat her up, and her daughter ran away from home again. On the day she gave birth to her second child, she saw red in the middle of the night and was about to go to the hospital. Her daughter cried heartbrokenly and said she didn\’t want her mother to give birth. . She gave birth to a son for the second time, and her relatives and friends all joked to her daughter: \”You are a girl, and you will marry into someone else\’s house in the future. Your brother is the owner here.\” \”Your parents love your brother, but they don\’t love you anymore!\” \”The little girl was particularly devastated. Every time she saw a family busy around their newborn brother, she would cause havoc and even pinch her brother when no one was around. Colleagues lamented the pain of having two children and complained about their daughter I don’t know if it’s selfishness or bad character. I said: “No, it’s because you didn’t give her a sense of security and didn’t tell her that you still love her even though you have a younger brother. \”Is it necessary to say this to such a young child?\” We really don’t have any bias, it’s just her who is overly concerned! \”I have been a sister for more than 20 years. I know how it feels to be a sister. Even if you are really not biased, if a child suddenly comes and diverts everyone\’s love and attention, she will feel left out and ignored.\” You need to explain to her and emphasize that you love her very much. Children need this kind of affirmation. \”For comparison, when Li Xiaopeng and his daughter Ollie participated in \”Dad Is Back\”, Li Xiaopeng asked Ollie if she wanted her mother to have a second child. Ollie happily said: \”Let\’s cheer for mom together, okay?\” \”She knew that another baby was about to come to the family, and she was not unhappy at all. She was happy to share her kindness.Because Li Xiaopeng and his wife always expressed their full love to their daughter, which gave her a sufficient sense of security. Parents\’ passionate and sincere love for their children is the starting point for their children\’s lifelong happiness. Children who believe that they are deeply loved will also generously give love to others and return it to their loved ones. Such children have high emotional intelligence and live relaxed and happy lives. They are confident, brave, and sunny. For the vast majority of our young mothers, returning to work as early as possible is a realistic choice that they have to make, and it is also a common situation for others to help raise their children. Under such conditions, it is even more necessary for us to express our unwavering love for our children in the limited time we spend together, so that our children will not be anxious and afraid when we are separated. This is also the reason why I insisted on taking my child with me after I returned to work after breastfeeding. When I go out every morning, I will say to my baby: \”Mom has to go to work. She will be back in the afternoon. Just listen to grandma and your day will go by so quickly!\” Sometimes I get home late if I work overtime or get stuck in a traffic jam. , I would explain to the child as soon as he walked in the door: \”Mom was busy today and worked overtime. She came back a little late, but she thought that the baby was waiting for me, so she rushed back as soon as she was done!\” Although the child is small, he will definitely learn from you. The gentle tone reveals that you love him and care about him. When you are not around, he will believe in your love. Those parents who have to live far away from their children, if you have time, be sure to make more phone calls and video calls with your children. Tell them in person how much you love them and miss them, maintain close relationships and attachments, and keep father\’s love and mother\’s love at a distance. Not absent under the barrier. Liu Dan, a psychologist at Tsinghua University, said: \”Children who have a sense of security are very familiar with their mother, so they have to leave slowly. They feel a little worried when leaving, and come back a little, and then leave again. This is repeated every time, and this idea becomes In his heart: No matter where I am, someone loves me.\” Throughout the entire growth process of our children, what we need to give our children most is the feeling of being loved. If we want our children to be strong and independent, we must first give him a solid backing and tell him: You can move forward, but I will hug you when you come back at any time. Only when the child is given enough confidence will he be able to move forward courageously. Because he knows that at least there is still love, at least there is still you. Don\’t be shy about your child, just say it if you love him!