If you want to raise a child who doesn’t cry, you must do the right thing first

Crying children is a problem that every mother encounters. Especially when some babies cry for half an hour, the more they cry, the harder they cry. Being a mother can’t help but feel distressed and heartbroken. If you are also worried about your child crying, today’s sharing may help us find a better way. Why is the child crying? There is a saying that goes like this, \”A child who cries gets milk.\” It can be seen that crying is an expression of children\’s instinctive emotions. When they are just born, babies will cry because they are hungry or hot, or they may cry because they are afraid. As you grow older, you will cry when you need help, cry when you want a response, cry when you are not satisfied, cry when you are angry, etc. In short, crying is the language of children. Even after they learn to speak, crying is still the way babies express their emotions. Why is it wrong to stop a child from crying? Many times when a child cries, our first instinct is to stop the child from crying, but we don’t know that this is actually the greatest harm to the child. Because, when babies cannot speak, crying is the only language and a bridge for them to communicate with the world. If we cut off this bridge indiscriminately, how can we communicate with our children? For example, in a very common scene, the child fell down and started to cry in pain. The mother picked her up and said, \”Baby is good, it doesn\’t hurt, don\’t cry, don\’t cry.\” Some will even hit the ground, blaming the wrong person. Let the child wrestle. Even after coaxing and lying, the child stopped crying. Our mission is also accomplished. So do we see any problems with this process? 1. We think crying is a negative emotion, so we need to take our children away from this pain. 2. When my child cries and gets upset, I can’t bear it, so I quickly stop him from crying. 3. Suppress the child’s true feelings and prevent the child from solving the problem. If the child stops crying, the parents will feel better. However, we don’t know what the child’s heart is like. In fact, through a series of reactions from parents, he will feel: 1: Crying is not good, I can’t cry, crying is not good. 2: It hurt a little when I fell, but my mother said it didn’t hurt, so I can’t say it hurt. 3: It’s all because of the ground that made me fall. The ground is really annoying, and I have to step on it a few times. See the contrast between the two angles? When a mother doesn\’t let her child cry, she is solving her own anxiety rather than accepting and respecting her child\’s feelings. The child stopped crying, but his cognition was distorted. He did not know that his emotions were normal reactions, and would even vent his anger on other things. He did not know how to respect objective issues. The most important thing is that the child will never Can\’t learn how to manage my emotions. Accepting failure and frustration is human nature. We always say that today\’s children have poor ability to withstand stress, and they will cry when something goes wrong. A large part of these reasons are related to the attitude of their parents when they encountered setbacks in childhood. When encountering difficulties, children will be frustrated, disappointed, and cry. These are normal emotional reactions, and we need to guide our children to face them instead of suppressing their emotions, let alone forcing them to smile. After all, being yourself is the most important thing. When we reach the age of becoming parents, we all feel that pleasing others is the least interesting thing.righteous things. But when we are young, many people don\’t understand this truth. It seems that if you don\’t lower your profile, you won\’t be recognized by others; if you don\’t give people compliments without hypocrisy, it will hurt people\’s feelings. But is this actually the case? Certainly not. Even if we please the whole world, how do we feel about ourselves? Why don\’t we know how to accept ourselves? Uncomfortable, painful, painful, I just want to cry. I need someone to understand why I cry, or I just need someone to cry with me, instead of persuading me sincerely: \”Don\’t cry, everyone will laugh at you.\” Don\’t cry, it won\’t look good if you cry.\” Empathize and help children manage their emotions. If you want your children to stop crying, understanding them when they cry is much more important than not allowing them to cry. Try to understand her emotions and give her time to vent her emotions. We all know that sometimes when we encounter something unhappy, even if we understand the reason, we still feel depressed. Because our emotions cannot be understood and cannot be vented. As for the child, give her time and opportunity to face her own emotions. Whether it is sadness, sorrow, pain, frustration, disappointment, or anger, do not judge the child\’s emotions without authorization. If he wants to cry, just cry. We will quietly Stay with him and let her know that it\’s okay to vent her emotions. For everything else, we can wait until the child has finished crying before communicating. In the next step, we can help the child calm down. Children cry from strong to weak. Every child is different. It is important for us to seize different opportunities to intervene. When Liuliu cried hard when she was a child, she would sob uncomfortably. When she took a break because she was not feeling well, I would pretend to do something else and say, \”Here, let\’s wipe the nose.\” Because Liuliu loves to be clean, he always feels uncomfortable when he has a runny nose. He is very cooperative when wiping his nose, and he can\’t cry when he wipes his nose. These tips definitely vary from person to person. Parents still need to understand their children when they intervene, and at this step, they must observe that the child\’s emotions have passed and are calming down. Our intervention is just to help him better control his emotions. Then, we can talk about the story behind the crying. What just happened? What’s wrong with you? Can you tell your mother why you are crying? Will you feel better after crying? Then why didn\’t you cry after that? Wait, review what happened with your child. This process is to let the child understand that his emotions are normal reactions, and he can tell his parents that we understand his feelings. And he himself also learned how to deal with similar situations in the future. At this time, we usually encounter a problem. The child will cry to achieve some goals. Then we can clearly guide the child to know: You can use crying as a way to vent your emotions, but you cannot use it as a way to solve problems. means. For example, if he wants a toy but cries and makes a fuss when he doesn\’t get it, we can calm down and communicate later, telling him the reason why we can give him the toy, or telling him the reason why we can\’t give him the toy. We accept your emotions, but we will not be threatened by your crying. Empathy is not something that is easy to say, it is not a sentenceA simple \”I know you are sad (in pain), mommy is with you\” will be enough. Instead, truly respect the child, guide the child, and perceive his emotions through the child\’s details. In the process, give him the opportunity to grow and gain the ability to solve problems. I believe that when a child gets enough understanding, attention, and respect, he will no longer cry endlessly. Crying is not a big deal. We will always accompany him gently and firmly: some pain is unavoidable, but we can face it together.