If you want to raise physically and mentally healthy children, you must make good use of these 25 classic education rules.

It is the common wish of parents to cultivate physically and mentally healthy children. However, how to discipline children is a headache: what to do when encountering setbacks? How to develop good habits? Is your child impatient? In fact, there are some general rules in education. If used correctly, you can get twice the result with half the effort. The article is a bit long, but it is very good. Please be patient and read it. It is recommended to save it! How to raise children who can appreciate the sense of responsibility and mission 20G [mp4+mp3] 1. Fishbowl Law: Spiritual growth requires freedom. In a company, several small fish are placed in a fishbowl. After several years, they are still the same. Small, so people think that this fish is this small size. One day, the fish tank was broken. Because the fish tank could not be found, they were kept in the yard pond. I didn\’t expect these fish to grow so big like crazy. Fish need free space to grow, and people even more so. We often help children make choices, choose schools, choose clothes, choose toys, etc. We often help children answer questions. Therefore, the child has no choice and no thinking. Therefore, he does not have innovative thinking and will not try too much. You can let him learn a lot of knowledge, but you can\’t let him draw inferences from one example or make him have better imagination. 2. Rosenthal effect (also called Pygmaon effect): positive expectations for children. Rosenthal was an American psychologist in the 20th century, and Pygmalion is the protagonist of ancient Greek mythology. This effect refers to the effect of a positive expectation leading to positive results. In the myth of Pygmaon, he was the king of Sephorus and a sculptor. He falls in love with one of his beautiful statues, and he expects her to accept her love. His persistent love moved the God of Love, so the statue came to life and became the king\’s wife. Hence the Sephlians of today. Myths always make people laugh. But Rosenthal\’s experiment showed this effect. He gave positive and negative evaluations to two groups of students who were randomly combined. Later, the results turned out to be positive or negative. Positive expectations are actually a kind of external support. In people\’s minds, family and friends are the core of this kind of support, and the expected support from family and friends is also more shaping. When you are frustrated, both children and us adults are looking forward to this kind of strength. On the contrary, without this kind of positive expectation and support, he will become negative or depressed after setbacks. 3. Reinforcement Law People’s habits are cultivated, whether consciously or unconsciously. Facts have proved that a good habit will lead people to success or have a good mentality. There is a whale experiment. Scientists put a glass wall in the water, with the whale and the real thing on one side. At first, the whale hit the glass violently, but then it finally realized that it was impossible, so after a while, it stopped hitting it. Later, scientists removed the glass wall, but the whale still had the same glass wall and only moved around on its own side. Human behavior is just like this story. After a period of time or repeated experiences, it becomes fixed and becomes a habit. Research shows that 21 days is enough to form a habit. Of course, if you want to changeA habit is also closely related to the time when the habit was formed. It will be more difficult to change and it will take more time. Therefore, we must pay attention to the details of our children and focus on guidance. A good habit is a fortune that he will enjoy for a lifetime. 4. Wolf Law: Cultivate children’s curiosity. We often say that learning depends on interest. However, where does the interest come from. The cultivation of curiosity means that people have the desire to understand something, and then they will explore and learn in depth. It is conceivable that if there is no curiosity about something, people will not take the initiative to understand it. This principle can be applied to many things. If there is no curiosity among people, there may not be deep friendship; if there is no curiosity at work, there may not be much investment. Therefore, stay curious and keep your interest, and you will be more engaged in doing things and learn more. Research shows that people who are curious about anything tend to have a wide range of interests and are particularly creative. Wolves are the most curious animals in the world. Even familiar environments and things are not taken for granted. A pine cone or a piece of antlers from nature are their toys. Little Wolf is also driven by curiosity, constantly learning and growing. Children are also full of curiosity about the world. They will play with various things, make various attempts, and ask questions that we cannot answer. Like little wolves, they learn many things driven by curiosity. However, we often don’t have such a broad perspective, and when they do something strange, they are easily scolded by us. Eventually, their curiosity slowly wanes. Curiosity can be said to be something related to attention and reaction. Once a person is not curious about the outside world, he will not have more attention, and his reaction to the outside world will become slower. Let alone creativity when they grow up, their survival will be challenged in a competitive world. How to cultivate curiosity. Suppose there is a park without rockeries or house barriers, without winding roads, and we can have a clear view from the outside, then you will not be much interested in it. On the contrary, it is precisely with these that we are willing to go in and understand. This is curiosity. In education, there is a lottery method of teaching. Students are easily bored with the original learning content. Thus learning becomes passive. This is also happening among Mr. Suzuki\’s students in Japan. Tonci is a smart student. He can learn any piece of music much faster than others. So he didn\’t want to practice any more. Mr. Suzuki knew that this was crucial to his future success. Without consolidated lessons, he would not be able to learn better in the end. It is for this reason that he adopted the lottery teaching method with his students. Number all the pieces and have students randomly select a piece for each class. In this way, because Yinci participated in the game himself (which is equivalent to participating in the teacher\’s teaching, but in fact, everything is still under the teacher\’s control, because the result was achieved), he practiced harder. People\’s curiosity about things is easy to change, which is why it is not difficult to explain that the longer a person works in the same position, the harder it is to achieve results; within seven years of marriage,Itch problem; romantic problem of love and so on. If you change the same thing and sometimes add some game elements, the result will become a positive aspect. 5. The Law of Dreams: Children need dreams to grow. In Teacher Bill’s class, he assigned such a composition about future ideals. Student Robert described a 200-acre pasture and the situation of horses galloping in this pasture, and drew a picture of the pasture for his own vision. Bill gave the old question an F rating (that is, a poor rating). Robert, full of hope but not getting good reviews, asked the teacher. The teacher\’s answer was too unrealistic. Because Robert\’s father was just a horse trainer. He asked Robert to redo an assignment and get a good grade. Robert thought twice and didn\’t do that. Over the years, this F homework has become his motivation. Many years later, he really owned a 200-acre pasture. When the elderly teacher Bill came to visit, Teacher Bill burst into tears. You know, he almost ruined a child\’s dream. In a survey about \”What do you want to do when you grow up?\”, 92.7% of the students answered that they wanted to go to a good university and find a good job; only 7.3% of the students answered that they wanted to travel around the world or work on alien planets. So where did their imagination go. In one experiment, the host drew a circle with chalk on the blackboard. The agency cadre did not answer, but looked at the superiors present. The director replied: This question cannot be answered casually without research. When asked about the Chinese language students at the university, they laughed and refused to answer this question that a fool would know; when asked about the middle school students, the top students answered \”zero\”, and a naughty student said \”the English letter O\”, but was criticized by the teacher. Roll your eyes. When the first grade primary school students were finally asked, the children rushed to answer: it was the moon, it was table tennis, it was sesame seed cakes, it was Teacher Li Guyi’s mouth when he sang, and it was the teacher’s eyes when he was angry. The title of this experiment is \”How do people lose their imagination\”, which is very appropriate. While Western old questions are trying to tap students\’ imagination, our education is telling children the \”standard answer\”. The mythical story \”Chang\’e flies to the moon\” back then has now come true. Without many failed attempts, where would today’s myth be? When we tell a minor child something, don\’t rush to teach him how to do it. You only need to tell him what it should be done, and if necessary, make some safety reminders. As for the method, let them think about it. And during this period, we just need encouragement and encouragement. 6. South Wind Effect South Wind and North Wind bet to see whose strength is stronger. They agreed to see who could take off a pedestrian\’s clothes. The north wind blows coldly and arrogantly, and pedestrians wrap their clothes tighter and tighter; the south wind comes out, blowing slowly and warmly, until the wind becomes clear and the sun shines, and pedestrians take off their coats. The south wind triumphed. This story is the same as the story of the sun and the wind) So why did the south wind win? Because it made people\’s behavior conscious. This practice of inspiring people to reflect, satisfy their own needs and achieve their goals is called the \”South Wind Effect\”. It is impossible for people not to commit crimesMistakes, any mistakes, can always be turned back as long as you repent. When the little guy accidentally spilled the milk on the ground, the mother said gently: This is really a beautiful ocean of milk. She then told the child that although the ocean of milk was beautiful, the floor would suffer. She wiped the floor clean with the child and told the child the correct way to get the milk. Psychologists say that once a mistake occurs, even if we get angry again, it will happen. What we have to do is how to avoid making this mistake again and clean up the mess caused by this mistake. When her daughter wore very avant-garde clothes, mother Judy was very worried and did not agree with her, so she preached many times, but it did not solve the problem. So she went deep into the school and found that most of the students in the school were like this. So she made an agreement with her daughter: You can still dress like this, but when you go out with me, you have to dress more formally. This is just a small step back for you, but a big step back for me. The matter was resolved satisfactorily. Understand the situation and seek appropriate solutions. This is the win-win rule in the business world. We just want to solve the problem, even if it is a mistake, not just to get angry and let the mistake happen again and again. On the other hand, from a child\’s perspective, everything is in the stage of experimentation and growth. Being more tolerant and focusing on guidance is not what we all need. And if the child doesn\’t like and trust you, everything you say will be difficult to achieve. 7. The Law of Natural Punishment: Let the child bear his own fault. Rousseau believed that the punishment a child receives is the natural result of his fault. This is natural punishment. In our words: Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and your fault cannot be borne by others. Another aspect of this method is: sometimes, let the child try it on his own. If he feels that it is better to wear one less thing, let him cool down. What he feels and experiences himself is often more profound than what we teach him. This is also called self-imposed learning. John forgot to bring food time and time again, and his mother told him countless times that when he forgot, she was afraid that John would be hungry, so she sent it to him. One day, my mother knew about the natural punishment method. She told John, don\’t forget to bring food to school today. Mom is very busy today. If you forget, you will have to starve yourself. John agreed, but still forgot to bring the food. He called his mother and teased her arrogantly, but her mother decided not to care about him. So John spent the afternoon hungry. Back home, John was angry, but his mother still ignored him. Later, he finally managed not to forget. Parents should set an example when educating their children. Dad had a guest, so he and the guest leaned against the door to chat. The wind was very strong that day, and the door was blown several times, and Eddie\’s homework book was blown loudly. When the door blew open again, Eddie slammed it shut. At this time, my father\’s painful sound came from outside. The angry father faced the frightened Eddie with his raised hand and was about to strike him down. But my father finally stopped fighting. Afterwards, Dad said to Eddie: It was me who put my hand in the crack of the door. It was my fault. Why did I hit you? Education is not just oral teaching.Teaching by personal example has a great influence. When Eddie grew up, he recalled that it was his father who told me that people should take responsibility for their own mistakes instead of taking anger out on others. 8. Respect the law: spiritual growth requires respect. Mr. Lu Xun once said: \”If you don\’t treat your children as a human being when they are young, they will not be able to be human beings when they grow up.\” Self-esteem is an emotional experience of not being left behind and believing that oneself is no worse than others. \”The stick produces filial sons\”, which occupies an important place in the hearts of many parents. But what does this bring? The child\’s cry when he was a child, his sleepiness when he was older, and his stubbornness when he grew up. Sarah has lived with her grandparents since she was a child, and her grandparents took care of all the housework. She has developed an introverted and timid character since she was a child. One day, there were guests at home, and she accidentally broke a cup. Her father scolded her in front of the guests, \”You are such a stupid pig.\” Sarah, who is sensitive by nature, was ashamed. There is no doubt about the love of her parents, but since she was a child, Sarah has been beaten and scolded by her father, and she has only cried, so she has very low self-esteem. As she grows older, her stubbornness and self-esteem gradually grow, and when her father scolds her again, she will , she stopped crying. In her father\’s heart, his majesty was challenged, and Sarah was beaten harder. The newly grown self-esteem slowly cracked. And her mother also snatched her letters indiscriminately. In an authoritarian family environment, Sarah, who is docile on the outside, is withdrawn and sensitive on the inside. And such a character shows a stubbornness that is difficult for outsiders to understand in society. Self-esteem is the first principle to learn in life. In a teacher\’s class, the teacher took out a book by a famous cartoonist and told the children the stories in the book. He also asked the children to tell a story of their own and asked them to draw it. Although the children\’s stories were not complete and the pictures were not good, the teacher still carefully wrote down the stories and put them together with the pictures. He told everyone that this is the first book you have written. Now that you are young, when you grow up, you will be able to write good books and become great people. In order for children to truly grow up, they should be allowed to \”stand\” from an early age rather than \”lying down\” to look up at those big figures. This reciprocal approach can help children develop a confident and sound personality. Research shows that if you talk to children between 9 months and 3 years old more, they will grow up to be smarter. In families where children and parents have an equal relationship, respect each other, and maintain communication, the children\’s IQs are significantly higher than those of other children. When the child was late, the mother learned that the child had gone to the river to watch the sunrise. The mother told the child, \”The sunrise is beautiful, my child, you are really great.\” She also told the child, \”The sunrise is so beautiful and the time is too long.\” It’s too short, so cherish the time and the opportunity to learn” and gave him a watch. From then on, the child has never been late again. Respect your child, treat him as an independent person, respect his privacy, respect his choices, respect his friends, communicate with him often, show more respect and provide reasonable guidance, and he will grow better. Therefore, when we see adults competing for less money and reduced tickets for their children, we know that what you save is just money. 9. Delayed gratification: Cultivate children’s patience from an early age.The heart shows two directions. One is to get what you want; the other is to be able to wait until what you need arrives. The difference between them is that one does not wait and the other can wait. This waiting is patience. American psychologist Walter conducted a classic experiment called the \”Growth Tracking Experiment.\” He selected a dozen 4-year-old children in a kindergarten and gave each one a candy. He told them that if they eat it now, they can only get one candy. If they eat it after 20 minutes, they can get two candy. . Some children ate it impatiently, and some children passed the 20 minutes, which was too long for them, through various methods, such as singing, talking, and even sleeping. After years of tracking, they discovered. Children who can wait for 20 minutes are still able to wait when they are teenagers. Their overall quality in all aspects is obviously better than that of children who cannot wait, and they are more likely to succeed in the future. Those impatient children also show more stubbornness, indecisiveness and repressive character traits in their adolescence. They often succumb to pressure and choose to escape. Restraint is the prerequisite for a person\’s success, restraining temper and restraining desires. No one is born with a good temper. When you don\’t restrain yourself, your bad mood will accompany you and affect others. If you are sarcastic, it will hurt others even more, and you will inevitably suffer repercussions; In this world, temptations are everywhere, desires are happening around you all the time, you are lazy to get up, afraid of the wind and cold outside, unwilling to walk, the world is full of flowers, there are too many things, and there is always only so much time. Whatever you gain, you will lose something else, and What do you need to get. Restraint can be cultivated. Personally, I suggest that it is difficult to do it alone. It should be achieved with the cooperation of two people or with more than one person. There is a \”Three Minute Game\”. Children don\’t like reading, they only like playing games and watching TV. Dad found an antique hourglass, and the child loved playing with it. Dad made an agreement with him: This funnel is an ancient timer. It will take exactly three minutes for the sand to drain out. Let\’s read the story book together. When the three minutes are up, you can go play. The first few times, the child didn\’t read at all, but stared at the hourglass and went to play after the sand was gone. But the father was not discouraged. After many times, the child slowly turned his attention to the book. Many times, the child was attracted by the content in the book and asked to extend the time, but the father insisted on reading for only three minutes. After many times, the child took the initiative to read a book. Three minutes is suitable for children\’s attention characteristics. After three minutes, it stops. It needs to be cultivated many times to form a habit. In this way, children can focus on one thing within a certain period of time. The perseverance and patience of parents have also been tested. 10. Sensory deprivation: Taste the taste of life for yourself. Psychologists at the Heibo Laboratory in Montreal, Canada, conducted a \”sensory deprivation\” experiment. The experimenters wore semi-transparent goggles to limit their vision; they used monotonous sounds to limit their hearing; they wore paper sleeves and gloves on their arms, and used splints to fix their legs and feet to limit their touch. The subjects were placed in several separate laboratories. After a few hours, they began to panic and hallucinate for three or four times in a row.After the day, they had many sick psychological phenomena: they were sensitive to external stimuli, had delusions and hallucinations, were distracted, were slow in thinking, had negative emotions such as tension, anxiety, and fear, and felt unbearable mental pain. They were anxious Asked to stop the experiment. A few days after the experiment was stopped, they slowly returned to normal. Through practice, psychologists have discovered that feeling is the most basic psychological phenomenon of human beings. Only through feeling can we obtain information from the outside world, adapt to the environment and survive. Brain development, human growth and maturity are based on the external environment and are necessary conditions for the development of intelligence, emotion and other psychological factors. We should let children actively experience the colorful external environment and obtain more knowledge and information from the environment. Many parents worry that their children will suffer hardships and be in danger, so they put their children in a better environment. In this way, the children will not only have a narrow vision and a narrow mind, but also lack a lot of social practice and will have difficulty adapting to the changing social environment in the future. Jimmy is obsessed with dogs. He heard that deep-sea fish oil is very helpful for the development of dogs, so he bought a lot of cooking oil. Early in the morning, he grabbed the puppy and drank the expensive fish oil. Unexpectedly, the puppy didn\’t cooperate at all and the oil spread all over the floor. Jimmy was so angry that when he was about to hit the puppy, he found that the puppy turned around and added oil to the ground. Our parents are just like Jimmy, eager to give their children all the things they think are good, without knowing whether their children need it or whether they like it. When children make mistakes, they often play the role of firefighters. We never know that parents can never fully experience life for their children. We need to be their guides. When we involve children in household chores, letting them clean the house, make the bed, or more that they can do or are willing to do, we give them an audience and watch them grow on their own. 11. Path dependence: Develop good habits from childhood. This section can be combined with the fourth rule. People\’s habits are like walking. If they choose a path, they will continue along this path. This is \”path dependence\”. Good habits are like roads and will affect a child\’s life. An elephant only needs a thin rope to tie it; a baby elephant needs both chains; this is a habit formed through forced cultivation. A good habit is a good way of thinking, but being able to think of it does not mean that you can do it. Once upon a time, a poor man picked up a book and said that there was a kind of Midas stone. He followed the method in the book, day after day, year after year, to find the Midas Stone. In order to identify the stones he had been looking for, he threw all the ordinary stones into the sea. One day, he came across the stone that turned iron into gold, and he threw it into the sea as usual. When I came back to my senses, I could no longer find it. The power of habit is powerful, so education is to cultivate a good habit. It is difficult for a person who loves to eat, is lazy to work, and loves to sleep in to study diligently. 12. Inverted U-shaped hypothesis: Give children appropriate pressure. When a person is not excited at all, he has no motivation to do things well; when a person is extremely excited, the ensuing pressure will make him unable to do things well. Good thing. Only with appropriate pressure and mild excitement can youWork better. The inverted U-shaped hypothesis demonstrates the relationship between work stress and work performance. If the pressure is too little, there will be no motivation; if the pressure is too much, it will become resistance; only if the pressure is moderate, it can become a motivation for people. People in this state will work very efficiently. The famous tennis player Becker is known as the \”constantly victorious general\”. His secret secret is to prevent himself from being overly excited during the game and to maintain a semi-excited state. Therefore, people also call the \”inverted U-shaped hypothesis\” the \”Becker realm.\” There is a story about a monk taking oil. The old monk repeatedly emphasized to the young monk not to spill the oil, otherwise he would be punished with hard labor for a month. The little monk kept thinking this when he came back from oiling, but when he got nervous, he spilled the oil. We also have this habit in our daily life. When you want to do something, you may do it better if you do it alone, because there is no one around, so there is not much pressure. When there are many others, you will not be able to do things neatly. , this is the pressure others put on you. This is a problem of insufficient psychological quality. Don\’t pay too much attention to it. Only by keeping yourself cautious can you perform better. There is a psychological suggestion story: In a primitive tribe, everyone believes in their wizard. As long as he says it, people will develop in the direction he says, whether good or bad, or even die. Later, a psychologist\’s research confirmed that people believed in wizards too much and his words became psychological suggestions. Therefore, keep to yourself and don\’t be disturbed, so that you can perform well and the pressure will be used appropriately. 13. Broken windows theory: Give children a good environment. American psychologist James Bass conducted an experiment. He placed two identical cars in a rich area and a poor area. The car in the rich area was intact, and a week later, it was still the same; the car in the poor area, he took off the license plate and opened the roof, and it was stolen within a day. Later, he broke a window of the car that was lost in a wealthy area, and it was stolen within a few hours. American political scientist Wilson and criminologist Kaelin proposed a \”broken windows theory\” based on this experiment. They believe that if someone breaks a piece of glass in a building and fails to repair it in time, others may have some suggestive connivance and break more glass. Over time, these windows will cause a problem to people. A feeling of disorder. As a result, crime thrives and spreads in this insensitive atmosphere. The same is true in our daily lives. When waiting for a red light, if the people in front are waiting, then the people behind will also wait until the red light ends before leaving; if there are people in front of them, they will leave when the light is red. More people followed. In fact, that\’s what suggestion does. There is a saying: if you are close to vermillion, you will be red; if you are close to ink, you will be black. This is the role of environmental influence, and the family environment plays an important role in it. There was a scholar who took his wife who was about to give birth to the exam because he was about to take the exam. He was tired in the middle and his wife went into labor. It happened that the wife of a blacksmith was also giving birth. Two children were born at the same time. Many years later, the scholar\’s child successfully passed the exam and the blacksmith\’s child also became a blacksmith. There are countless examples of this kind of family influence in reality. Family education also shows that leading by exampleimportance, so you have to turn around and arm yourself with these educational theories. 14. The law of diminishing talent: The earlier you educate your children, the better. The cultivation of children\’s potential follows the law of diminishing talent, that is, children\’s talent decreases with age. The later they are educated, the less their innate potential will be used. Today, with the popularization of national education in our country, there are fewer outstanding craftsmen. Experienced fishermen said that there are fewer people who are good at swimming and casting nets as they were in the past, because today\’s children are studying in their teens, and water skills must be practiced from around ten years old. This can also be explained. Although Brazil is not rich, it has a lot of football talents. Many experts believe that if one does not start practicing piano at the age of 5 and violin at the age of 3, it is impossible to reach a high level. In other words, if children\’s abilities are not cultivated during the development period, their potential will diminish. 15. Over-limit effect: Don’t criticize your children too much once, American writer Mark? Twain listened to the pastor\’s fund-raising speech in church. At first, he thought the pastor’s words were very good, and he was going to donate more money. Ten minutes later, the pastor kept talking, and he was a little impatient, so he decided to just donate some change. After another ten minutes, the pastor still didn’t donate more money. After speaking, he decided not to donate money. The pastor finally finished his lengthy speech, and instead of donating the money, the writer took away two dollars. Too much stimulation, too strong a stimulus, or too long an effect will cause the recipient to become impatient or rebellious. This is the \”over-limit effect\” in psychology. This effect happens all the time in families. For example, if a child makes a mistake, parents will criticize the child again and again. These criticisms will make the child go from guilty, restless, to impatient, and finally disgusted. There will be a rebellious mentality of \”I have to do this\”. In order to avoid the occurrence of this over-limit effect, parents should not criticize their children beyond the limit, and should \”criticize their children only once if they make a mistake.\” If you have to criticize again, you should not simply repeat it, but change your perspective and put it in another way. On the scene, we often argue over some small mistakes, and the reason is that this matter often affects our own face. In fact, no matter which one makes a step back, both parties will benefit greatly, and the other party will also appreciate your step back. This is called \”taking a step back to broaden the horizons\”. Don\’t worry too much about some insignificant mistakes, and don\’t blame others for the sake of perfection. In fact, as long as the child does not make too big a mistake, what parents have to do is to remind them and not to accuse them. For small mistakes, parents should save their children\’s face; for big mistakes, parents should also pay attention to their children\’s psychological endurance. After a mistake occurs, wouldn\’t it be better if we use solutions instead of blaming? 16. Barrel Law: Let children comprehensively develop at least nine intelligences per person, namely language, logic and mathematics, music, body, space, interpersonal relationships, introspection, natural observation and existence. By this measure, poor students are almost non-existent. In management science, it is believed that as long as there are different employees, there are no good or bad employees. Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, and the result depends on whether they have used their own advantages and avoided their own mistakes.disadvantages. The barrel law holds that the amount of water a barrel can hold depends on the shortest piece of wood. This tells us that when we engage in a certain job, we always have our own strengths and weaknesses in this job. If we improve our shortcomings in this job, our work will be more successful. (Note: It is not the shortest point of a person, but the shortest point of a certain job. Therefore, this does not mean that people should be omnipotent, but pay attention to the knowledge distribution.) For people with certain types of knowledge deficiencies , the performance of abilities is always restricted by bottleneck disciplines. To put it simply, if those engaged in R&D in an enterprise do not understand the market, the fruits of their labor may be worthless; if those engaged in marketing do not know anything about technology, it will be difficult to demonstrate the advantages of their products to customers more convincingly. . Only when a person has extensive knowledge and skills, and allows them to be fully utilized and synergized, can they make great achievements. Some experts have found through follow-up surveys that if a science student does not understand literature, his way of thinking will be greatly affected, and his ability to innovate will definitely not be good in the future. Parents should pay enough attention to their children\’s \”partiality in subjects\” and solve it in a timely manner. Primary and secondary schools are the basic education stage for children. The subject arrangements at this stage are also relatively comprehensive, so that children can have comprehensive knowledge and become compound talents in the future. 17. Watch Law: Set clear goals for your children. Nietzsche said: Brother, if you are lucky, you only need to have a morality and not be greedy for more. With only one watch, you can know what time it is. Two watches cannot tell a child a more accurate time and will only make the child lose confidence in being on time. It will leave the child at a loss as to which one he should set as the standard. The watch law tells us: A person cannot be commanded by more than two people at the same time, otherwise the person will be at a loss; a person cannot choose two different values ​​​​at the same time, otherwise, his behavior will be in chaos. Similarly, if a child is not capable of receiving inconsistent education from his parents, he will be at a loss as to what to do. There is an intellectual question: If there is a fire in the Louvre and only one painting can be saved, which one do you save? The gold medal answer is: the painting closest to the exit. (Digression: This answer should also include: the painting that is the fastest and easiest to get; the painting closest to you. etc. This is similar to another intellectual question: If your mother and wife fall into the water at the same time, who should you save first? ). This story illustrates a profound truth: the best goal for success is not necessarily the most valuable one, but the one most likely to be achieved. There was a young man who was studying abroad. He wanted to learn painting, but his life was tight, so he had to work while studying. He found a job mowing lawns. Not only does this work have nothing to do with painting, but using scissors often makes your hands rough. The young man was reluctant at first, but reality forced him to do it first. Once, he accidentally cut off a place, and he tried his best to repair it. Unexpectedly, it was even more beautiful than before. He gradually fell in love with this job and did better and better. So much so that he no longer had to mow the lawn with his own hands, and his opinions were more valuable than his skills. Several years passed, and heHe established a foothold in foreign countries and lived a prosperous life. Friends and family say he succeeded and realized his dream. However, when he saw the drawing board from back then, he was confused as to whether he was successful now or whether he was further and further away from his dream. Success is entirely a personal phenomenon. Everyone\’s outlook on life and values ​​are different, and the definition of success is also different. Applause and cheers from others are gratifying, but the most important thing is self-evaluation. If you know what you really need, there is no need to ask for other people\’s opinions. This can also explain that some people are rich and willing to volunteer; some people have excellent conditions and are willing to work and live in poor places. Children also have their own values. Don\’t disrupt his life just because his watch has a different time than his parents\’ watch. If you seize the current opportunity, you will not be like a monkey picking up peaches and getting nothing in the end. 18. Forbidden Fruit Effect: How to Treat Children\’s Puppy Love Puppy love is normal for teenagers. Parents do not need to regard it as a heinous sin of rebellion and impose heavy pressure on it. We should not intervene roughly, but should understand their needs, help children establish a correct view of love, understand the true meaning of love, and communicate with them on an equal footing about their perceptions of life, love, and studies. The word \”forbidden fruit\” comes from the Bible. It tells the story of a young man named Eve who originally turned a blind eye to the fruits on the tree of knowledge, but God emphasized that no one was allowed to steal the fruits. This aroused Eve\’s attention and interest. In the end, she ate the forbidden fruit and was arrested. Relegated to the human world. People call this psychological phenomenon of being attracted to forbidden fruits the \”forbidden fruit effect.\” After children enter school, they begin to need friends; during adolescence, they will develop a liking for the opposite sex and even have emotional impulses. We should not draw conclusions easily about their interactions. At this time, there is a lot of friendship, admiration, and curiosity. If you pay attention to guidance, there will be good results. 13-year-old Debi and Alice came together. At first, parents and teachers tried their best to interfere, but this gave them a common language and brought them closer. Later, the principal changed his strategy. He called both the children and the teacher. Instead of criticizing the children, he said that the teacher had misunderstood them and had tarnished their pure friendship. After that, the two children continued to interact with each other as usual, but before long, they gradually drifted apart because they had nothing in common, and eventually parted ways. Psychologists have found that the more difficult something is to get, the higher its status and value in people\’s hearts. Another direction for early love or admiration is guidance or advice. 15-year-old Welch likes a girl from his class monitor and doesn\’t know what to do. The teacher told him: When I was your age, I also fell in love with a little girl. But the father said that this little girl is not the most beautiful in the world. The most beautiful girl should be in the best university. Later, I worked hard to get into a world-renowned university. Sure enough, there are many beautiful girls here, and I can make friends with any of them if I want. Now, dear Welch, do you think this girl you are talking about is the most beautiful girl in the world. Welch shook his head. Finally, he got into a good university. After college, heEncountered the same problem, he told his former teacher. The teacher told him that after working, there will be more girls waiting for you to choose. Be guided and forward emotions as motivation for learning. This is a method that children are happy to accept. In another story, a father gave some advice to his children: If you are liked by a girl, it means you are great; if you like a girl, it means you have a broad vision. If you want to develop here, you can continue to communicate with her; if you want to develop in the city, you should solve this problem in the city; if you want to develop in the province, you should solve it in the province; if you want to develop in Beijing, you should solve it in Beijing; If you want to develop abroad, go abroad to solve it. It is a very good advice to solve problems wherever they develop. It solves practical problems and allows children to see further. (Note: Do not copy the processing methods and language from the book. You should also pay attention to self-innovation and development. Only in this way will it be more practical.) 19. Mrs. Gandhi’s Law: Let the children face setbacks bravely. Mrs. Gandhi’s son La When Jeff was 12 years old, he needed surgery due to illness. Facing the nervous and frightened Rajiv, the doctor planned to say something: the surgery is not painful and there is no need to be afraid. Waiting for white lies. However, Mrs. Gandhi thought that the child was already sensible and that was not good, so she stopped the doctor. She calmly told Rajiv: It will be quite painful for a few days after the operation. No one can replace this pain. Crying or shouting will not relieve the pain. It may also cause headaches, so you must bear it bravely. After the operation, Rajiv did not cry or complain. He endured it all bravely. In real life, setbacks often occur, and many setbacks are often unavoidable. If a child faces them bravely, his future life path will be smoother. A German company was recruiting 10 employees. When a young man saw that he was not admitted, he was so sad that he wanted to commit suicide by jumping into the river when he returned home. Fortunately, he was saved by his relatives and friends. Just when he was sad, good news came from the company. His results were admitted, but the computer had an error. He was ecstatic. However, the German company rejected him again. The reason is: With such a fragile mentality, how can one take on such a heavy responsibility? Let the children try things on their own and let them learn their own lessons, which is often more important than experience. Many times, parents often set up artificial troubles for them, such as asking them to do more things within their capabilities, and setting up some obstacles when they go too smoothly. Help them grow. 20. The law of true love: The true meaning of education is love. It is not about giving the child whatever he wants, nor is it about giving him how much money to meet his material needs, but about giving the child a kind of spiritual warmth and encouragement to let him understand. Parents\’ painstaking efforts and expectations, thereby changing their bad behavior. Brian has a single mother who is an alcoholic. What makes him go to school without the warmth of family. He said: Every year at least one teacher praises my homework. Because of them, I persisted in doing my homework. When I entered middle school, I had lost the motivation to continue studying. The principal of my middle school knew about my situation. He took care of me and cared about me. Every time I skipped school, he would always call me to the office to talk, just like my father. Therefore, I successfully passed the examNot a bad high school. But when I entered high school, no one asked the previous principal to care about me anymore. Later, I kept skipping classes and hanging out with some gangsters. Finally, a group fight occurred and I was sent to the juvenile correctional facility. Here, I met a loving Old question. With his help, I became interested in reading again, completed high school courses, and was admitted to a liberal arts college with a full scholarship. While I was studying, I became famous nationwide for winning first prize in the National College Student Art Creation Competition. American \”child issues\” expert and educator William said that this is the \”law of true love.\” He said: Love is all the power for a child to move forward. The secret of education is love, and the shortcut to education is the road to love. When a child is naughty, giving him true love means caring and communicating with your heart, rather than jumping to conclusions and letting things go. 21. The Matthew Effect: Let children’s self-confidence thrive. There is a story in the Bible-New Testament-Matthew. A rich man was going on a long journey. Before leaving, he entrusted his property to his servants to take care of them according to their talents. The first servant was given 5 talents (note: this was the ancient Roman currency unit), the second servant was given 2 talents, and the third servant was given 1 talent. The first servant earned 5 talents through business; the second servant also earned 2 talents; but the third servant buried the money in the soil. The rich man came back and said to the first two servants: You are a confident man, and I will let you take charge of more things. But he took the talent from the third man and gave it to the first servant. \”For those who have, give it to them and make them rich; but for those who don\’t have, even what they have will be taken away from them.\” Robert, a well-known sociologist, calls this phenomenon the \”Matthew Effect.\” This illustrates the fact that any individual, group or region, once it achieves success and progress in a certain aspect and generates accumulated advantages, will have more opportunities to achieve greater success and progress. In terms of cultivating children\’s self-confidence, the more confident children are, the more they will receive encouragement and help from all aspects and achieve more good results, and these good achievements will further stimulate the growth of children\’s self-confidence, thus Enter a virtuous cycle. An American psychologist once conducted a personality test on 150 very accomplished people and found that they all have three excellent qualities: first, toughness in character; second, being good at constantly striving to achieve their goals. Accumulate results; third, be very confident. A philosopher said: When you feel like a genius, you will become a genius; when you feel like a hero, you will become a hero. In cultivating children\’s self-confidence, we need to find the starting point for cultivating his self-confidence (discover his strengths), let him have the courage to try (gain success experience in failure, and then praise him), and take care of his self-confidence (affirm his difference), and publicize his self-confidence (affirm his progress and praise him in time). If you can make progress every time, even if it is a little bit, you need to fully affirm it. Don\’t put too much pressure on him, but guide him to make progress. 22. Fox Law: Cultivate children\’s independent consciousness. The law of the fox world is: adult foxes cannot live with their parents. They must support themselves independently. This is also a law of nature. ifIf you don\’t know how to survive, you will be eliminated. Many millionaires let their children work and earn pocket money, so children do not feel ashamed to pick up trash at school. It is an honorable thing. In the Rockefeller family, the training of the next generation is to let them do something they can do from an early age, keep accounts, and calculate wages. It is not that they have no money, but to cultivate the hard work and self-reliance of their children. character and the virtue of diligence and thrift. Comedy star David talked about his secret to success: When he graduated, he received the most important gift. His father gave him a coin and said earnestly, \”Take it to buy a newspaper, and then find a job.\” Go have a try. (His family is very wealthy) A young mother took her child to the park. There were very high steps, and the child was so excited that he wanted to climb up them. When he fell, he looked at his mother. With her loving and encouraging eyes, he finally climbed up on his own. We don’t know how long it will take us to climb the ladder of life, but one thing is that no one can help us climb this ladder of life. Therefore, when we are reluctant to let our children suffer this or that, such as driving to school, who knows how many hard-to-learn things our children will lose in the future. No one can help the child in his future but himself. Therefore, wealthy people with farsightedness only leave a small part of their property to their descendants, in order to let them understand that only by their own efforts can they live a better life. Otherwise, the excess wealth will cause them to lose their creativity and future generations will suffer. It is also more difficult for future generations to maintain the family\’s dominant position. 23. Catfish effect: Cultivate children’s sense of competition. A long time ago, the sardines caught by Norwegians from the deep sea were always dead before they reached the coast. But there is a fishing boat that can always bring live fish ashore. Live fish are several times more expensive than dead fish. Why is this? It turns out that the fisherman put catfish in the fish tank of the boat. Catfish is the natural enemy of sardines. Catfish chases sardines out of nature. Under the chase of catfish, sardines desperately move across the country. It stimulated its inner potential and survived. This is the \”catfish effect\”, which tells us that competition can stimulate people\’s inner potential. In children\’s education, give them a stage to compete and cultivate their sense of competition so that they can face life with a positive attitude in the future. Protection is counterproductive. Tigers in zoos look like cats, but they lack competition. There is a story in my country called \”Kong Rong gives up the pear\”, which talks about cultivating the virtue of humility in children. One prisoner, when talking about himself, told a sequel to a version of this story. He was thinking about big apples, and when his mother asked him about them, he said he would eat small apples. His mother happily gave him the big apple. From then on, he learned to lie. If the guidance is wrong, the consequences will be different. In another version, when the mother asked the three children what apples they wanted, everyone rushed to get the bigger one. Their mother told them: There is only one big apple. You go and mow the lawn. Whoever finishes it first will eat it. This is to guide fair competition, and later, these three children all succeeded. 24. Swan Effect: Doting is a kind of harm. The content of this section is earlier.There are similar suggestions in many sections, so I won’t explain them in details. Loving mothers often fail their children, and doting often makes their children weak, incompetent, and willful. There is an idiom in our country: going too far is not enough. What I mean is that anything \”excessive\” can cause great harm. 25. Stereotype effect: Prejudice and prejudice against children. Some parents always remember their children’s “mistakes” and “mistakes”, and have formed a stereotype of their children as unachievable. When their children improve, they still use the original language. To judge him will hurt the child\’s self-esteem and also affect the image of the parents in the child\’s mind. Someone asked this question for everyone to answer: A public security chief was talking to an old man on the roadside. At this time, a child ran over and said to the public security chief hastily: \”Your father and my father had a quarrel.\” The old man Asked: \”Who is this child to you?\”, the police chief said: \”He is my son.\” I would like to ask: What is the relationship between the two people who were quarreling with the police chief? Of the 100 people surveyed, only two answered this question correctly. The investigator later asked this question to a family of three. The parents failed to answer correctly, but the child quickly answered: \”The director is a woman.\” Why do so many adults fail to answer this simple question? This is the \”stereotype effect\”, also known as the \”stereotype effect\”. That is, according to one\’s own inherent belief, the police chief should be a man, so he cannot find the answer. Children who have no experience in this area can get the answer right in one go. In one experiment, the experimenter showed two groups of students the same photo of a person and asked them to describe the photo with words. The experimenter told the first group of students that this person was a vicious criminal; but told the second group of students that this person was a great scientist. The first group of students described: The deep-set eyes showed that he was full of hatred in his heart, and the protruding chin proved his determination to follow the criminal path to the end… The second group of students described: The deep-set eyes showed the depth of this person\’s thoughts, and the prominent The chin shows that the person has the will to overcome difficulties in life… Just because of the different previous prompts, the description results are dramatically different. Such examples are common in life: young people think that older people are conservative; old people think that young people are frivolous and so on. This also explains why people tend to fall in love at first sight. It is common to judge people by their appearance. Su Dongpo once looked at Foyin and saw him sitting, so he said: You look like shit; Foyin saw that he was standing and said: You look like a Buddha. Su Dongpo laughed and left, went home and told Su Xiaomei. Su Xiaomei smiled and said: You think you are getting an advantage, but in fact, if you think of shit in your heart, you will say it is shit, and if he thinks of Buddha, he will be a Buddha. Don\’t let your own stereotypes mark your children\’s progress. You should take note of his progress, keep it in your heart, and praise him promptly.