If you want your child to avoid being bullied by other children in kindergarten or elementary school, you must tell him these 4 things!

I believe every parent has worried about this problem before sending their children to kindergarten or primary school – what to do if their children are bullied in kindergarten⁉️ Indeed, when children enter kindergarten, some of their activities no longer exist. Limited to the parents\’ sight, even the teachers in the kindergarten cannot pay attention to every child\’s activities at all times. Conflicts, boundary crossing, and bullying can happen at any time among children, and most of them happen in places where adults can\’t see them. As parents, of course we all want our children to grow up healthy and happy without suffering any harm. So, what can we do? In fact, when children enter kindergarten, it is the first time they truly enter collective life. In this small society, they should not only learn to share and cooperate, but also learn how to protect themselves from being bullied by others. For children, although this is stepping out from the safe wings of their parents and entering a risky social jungle, it is also an opportunity, an exercise, and the only way for children to grow. Therefore, Dr. Meng still says, \”It is better to teach a man to fish than to teach him to fish.\” When our children face social conflicts, the most important thing is to rely on themselves. Because of this, we must not only carefully observe the dynamics of children going to and from school every day, but more importantly, teach children how to defend themselves when they face social conflicts. Therefore, today Dr. Meng shares 4 sentences with you, hoping to bring you some help – these 4 sentences must be given to children. 01 You must dare to say no. Have you ever encountered this situation? For example, if your child\’s toys are taken away by other children, the child is obviously unhappy, but he is holding back and does not say anything; for example, if a child often pokes your child\’s arm, the child feels very uncomfortable, but he does not dare to say anything;… In fact, when faced with social conflicts, it is not easy for most adults to refuse clearly and simply and say \”no\” loudly, not only for children. The reason for this is that many times, our culture prefers \”tolerance\” when encountering difficulties rather than \”rejection\” when encountering difficulties. Many people have not received \”rejection education\” since childhood. On the contrary, the education we receive is more to be well-behaved, sensible, and tactful, to find reasons for everything from ourselves, to take a step back to see the world, and not to make trouble for ourselves and to shoot ourselves first… Therefore, whenever children encounter social conflicts, Many parents will be anxious and say to their children, why didn\’t you refuse at that time? Then teach your children to have courage. But we will find that this often does not work. The next time a similar thing happens, the child still doesn’t know what to do. This is not only because the child who has not received \”rejection education\” cannot express it at all, but it may also be the following: reason. Some children are \”little devils\” at home, but are \”cowardly\” outside and \”make all the changes\” at home. When they get to kindergarten, they may not even dare to tell the teacher that they want to go to the toilet, or they may often worry about what they have said to the children. Stop playing with him. This is actually a sign that the child lacks a sense of security outside. In other cases, on the contrary, the child is denied too much at home. For example, if a child doesn’t want to eat vegetables, he willI was told \”Why are you such a picky eater?\”, or was told \”Don\’t be so squeamish\” when I bumped into someone… As time went by, I no longer wanted or dared to express myself. We know the reasons why children dare not say \”no\”. So, what should we do if we want to give children the confidence to say \”no\” loudly, speak out their thoughts boldly, use words to protect themselves, and have a sense of self-power when facing bullying? What about guidance? First of all, the first step we need to take is to lead by example and not to demonstrate \”compromise\” to our children. For example, when we are outside, we can hold the child for a while, but if we can no longer hold the child and the child is still acting up, we should also express our feelings generously, with a gentle but firm attitude and reject the child\’s unreasonable behavior. Require. The second step is that in normal times, we should also pay attention to taking the child\’s expression seriously and respect the child\’s rejection. For example, when a child doesn\’t want to eat broccoli, we should not label the child as a \”picky eater\” at the first time. Instead, we should find out the reason. For example, he may be full, or he just doesn\’t like eating. For vegetables like orchids, you cannot deny your children\’s feelings based on your own guesses. In the third step, we can do some \”situational exercises\” for the baby. For example, let the father be the \”bully\” child. When the baby is beaten, we can say \”Hitting is wrong, I don\’t allow you to hit me.\” , when a child\’s toy is robbed, you can say \”This is my toy, please give it back to me.\” This will guide your children to understand that if someone else does something you don\’t want to do, you have the right to stop them loudly and say \”no, don\’t, don\’t give, no\”. 02 You can fight back. We usually teach our children to be polite, kind, gentle, and try not to hurt others. But kindness is a virtue and does not mean unprincipled concessions. We should also let our children understand that in the process of getting along with others, they must always maintain a kind heart, respect others, and help others, but at the same time, they must also stick to their own principles. We must respond to unreasonable demands or bullying behaviors. You should also learn to fight back. We have just talked about verbal counterattack, but \”physical counterattack\” is a bit special. When children are bullied, we usually do not encourage them to fight back or fight back. Because in ordinary children\’s conflicts, teaching children to fight back cannot solve the matter, nor can it solve the children\’s emotional problems. It can also easily make children mistakenly believe that in the face of everything, as long as their reaction is \”intense\” enough, You can get the results you want. So why do we still tell our children, “You can fight back”? In fact, the emphasis of this sentence is on \”can\” rather than \”can only/must/should\” – you can fight back, not that you can only/must/should fight back. \”You can fight back\” means that if you are bullied, it is your right to fight back. Moreover, we should also tell our children, \”Fighting back is not the goal, solving the problem is.\” As long as the problem can be solved, the harm can be stopped, and the child will no longer be bullied, whether it is verbal or physical counterattack, these are all methods that children can use. However, since physical counterattacks are more intense than verbal counterattacks, we have to be more detailed with our children. First of all, \”fight back\” should be \”bottom\”\”Card\”. When a child attacks you (this refers to the pushing and fighting between children in most cases): The first step should be to make your attitude clear and express your feelings: hitting is wrong, I don\’t like you. Like this! The second part should be a warning. If the other party takes advantage of it: I won\’t be polite if you do this again! If the other party still doesn\’t stop after these two steps, then we can choose to fight back, but again, fight back. The purpose is to make him stop, not to hurt him. What should I do if the other party still doesn\’t stop after fighting back? It\’s very simple. These two methods must be \”escape\” and \”go and tell\”. Let the children remember that asking for help is very important. We must tell the children that whether they have solved the problem or not and are beaten by other children, they must tell an adult. Let’s talk about this problem below. 03 Why did you ask for help? After a child is bullied, regardless of whether the child has solved the problem himself, he must seek help from others. Because the child is too young, even if he solves the problem on his own, he may suffer some emotional or psychological problems that he cannot heal. For example, children may wonder if they are being bullied because they are also at fault, or because they no longer trust others, are afraid to make friends with others, and are resistant to kindergarten… These are things that the children themselves do not have. Things that cannot be faced alone. So, who can children turn to for help? First of all, we can tell our children that no matter what happens in kindergarten, they can share it with Mom and Dad. Understand that this is not your fault, don\’t be afraid, and don\’t choose to face it alone. Parents are always the backing you can rely on. Children should learn to ask for help as soon as possible when they encounter problems that cannot be solved during kindergarten. Teachers, because they are the adults closest to this matter. Therefore, we have to tell children that teachers will help you like daddy, whether you want to go to the toilet, don’t have enough to eat, pee your pants, or a child hits you. , you can tell the teacher. In short, when you have any problems that you can\’t solve by yourself or need help, you can raise your hands and call the teacher loudly. Finally, when you encounter difficulties or bullying, you can also tell your good friends. Good partners, although they are not adults and may not be able to help you solve your problems, but they can at least listen to you, give you advice, comfort you, support you, and make you feel better. 04 You can cry loudly. Finally, we. You should also tell your child that you can cry loudly if you are bullied by others. If your child is kind-hearted and does not choose to fight back immediately after being bullied, but instead cries aggrievedly, we must not give the child stickers at this time. Applying a negative label of \”weak\”, or blaming the child \”Cry for whatever reason, you just know how to cry, why are you so cowardly!\” \”. Because first of all, when children are bullied, crying is often an instinctive stress response. Crying is an emotional outlet for children, and it can also be said to be a way of self-healing for children. Secondly, Children getting hurt is the only thing we should worry aboutThey are silent, and children crying is actually a request for help. It is a signal to others for help through crying, hoping that someone can help them. Therefore, we must not accuse the child of being timid and useless as soon as we see him crying. Of course, we do not have to directly provide the child with various aids as soon as he comes up. We still need to train the child and learn to handle interpersonal relationships and social conflicts independently. , at least let them master the above four self-protection methods.