If you want your child to be strong, you still need to teach him these things

After becoming a mother, every time I heard news about various accidents or disasters, I would unconsciously picture the families behind it and think about those unfortunate children: I wonder what kind of ordinary and happy life they lived before. , what kind of psychological ups and downs occur when a crisis occurs, and what changes will happen to life after grief? The sky is full of unpredictable events, and people are prone to misfortune and misfortune. Faced with unknown disasters in life, how should our children avoid risks and minimize the physical and mental harm they must endure? This is a question worth thinking about for every parent. In the face of natural and man-made disasters, good tutoring builds a strong line of defense. The shipwreck in Malaysia that occurred during the Lunar New Year in 2017 was a sad mark on the festive holiday of reunion. Among the overwhelming and painful reports in those days, the story of a Chinese mother and daughter particularly attracted my attention. According to the recollections of the rescued passengers, after the accident, the mother calmly organized people around her to carry out self-rescue activities and encouraged everyone to unite and not give up hope of survival. At the same time, her daughter, who was only three or four years old, did not shed a single tear during the whole process, showing a psychological quality that was beyond that of her peers, and even better than that of ordinary adults. During the torturous moment of waiting for rescue, the conversation between the two of them went like this: Daughter: \”Mom, are you okay?\” Mom: \”You are okay and I am okay.\” There was no growing panic, no meaningless complaints. The young mother and her young daughter used their ordinary and down-to-earth care for each other to build the strongest psychological defense line in the moment of life and death. The daily life of this mother and daughter has not been explored by the media, but from the mother\’s calmness and calmness to the daughter\’s maturity and stability, I can see the huge power of decent family education. I believe that when this mother reads picture books and tells stories to her daughter on weekdays, in addition to choosing immature and childlike content, she must also seriously instill safety education into it. Although the child is ignorant, he knows that facing this situation, it is most important to stay quiet and listen to his mother. In the face of crisis, although this power from deep within is invisible, it is more practical and reliable than any rich material that is painstakingly pursued in daily life. It allows people to keep their minds clear to the maximum extent, adopt the correct means of survival, and face the possibility calmly. everything that happened. Unfortunately, my mother could not survive this disaster. The little girl doesn’t need to hold back her tears this time, but I think after the pain is over, she will definitely inherit her mother’s fortitude, continue her own life, and one day become a great mother and raise an amazing child. child. It’s never too early to share basic survival essentials with your children. Last year, a book titled “Children Who Can Cook Can Survive Wherever They Go” became popular on the Internet. This book was co-edited by three members of an ordinary Japanese family and has touched many parents. The background of the story is this: Chie Yasutake, a mother suffering from breast cancer, got worse after the birth of her daughter, Aka. In order to let her daughter master the ability to support herself and live a healthy life without her, she started to have breast cancer when her daughter was five years old. Teach her how to cook. Imagining little Ahua\’s delicate little hands holding a kitchen knife and a spoon, it must be difficult for any mother to handle this.The course persisted, but Ahua\’s mother did it. She knew that she had only a limited time to accompany her daughter, so she was cruel and showed her the difficult side of life to her daughter early, teaching her the secret of being independent in the world, so as to avoid the truth. It was caught off guard and spread out in front of the child, causing heartbreaking pain to her young heart. The mother is gone, but her careful education of her daughter has paid off. Ahua said: \”Mom, there is something I want to tell you – I will make all the lunches myself! Don\’t speak ill of others, don\’t forget to smile, these are what my mother taught me. Although I will also find it difficult Ah, but there must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and Ahua has stopped crying.\” This passage made many people cry, and also made parents reflect on their own education: Letting children take on some responsibilities as early as possible does not mean giving them Increasing the burden is, on the contrary, injecting a vaccine into the unpredictable future to alleviate the pain that may come. There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain. If the children understand this truth, what should we worry about? If emergency measures are properly taught, children can also become \”saviors.\” A friend of mine is a surgeon. He often shares with his son who is in elementary school what happened in the hospital, scenes of life and death, moments of joy and sorrow, and he also plays with some mannequins and simple things at home. medical equipment and taught my son basic human body structure and first aid methods. Relatives do not understand and feel that exposure to these things is too bloody and cruel for children, which is not good for physical and mental health. Friends think that he just hopes that his son will inherit his father\’s legacy and impart some professional knowledge to his children in advance. After all, few people understand his educational philosophy. Until last summer, my friend\’s father suffered a sudden myocardial infarction and collapsed in his living room. His mother happened to go to the vegetable market, leaving only his son at home who was on summer vacation. Seeing this scene, the boy did not panic. After dialing the emergency number immediately, he skillfully used the first aid knowledge taught by his father to correctly handle the unconscious grandfather before the ambulance arrived, winning valuable rescue for the old man. time. After the boy\’s grandfather regained consciousness, he burst into tears and told everyone he met that his grandson took his life back. Without proper crisis education, a twelve-year-old boy would have panicked when faced with this situation. What this father taught his son seemed cruel and direct, but it was a hundred times gentler than the impact of the sudden reality on the child. Together with your children, accept the darkness and protect the light. We all have this life experience: with your eyes open in a dark room, and someone suddenly lights up the light, you will feel an unbearable sting in your eyes. But if you know in advance that the light is going to turn on, , first close your eyes, then open them little by little, and gradually adapt to the process from darkness to light, you will feel much more comfortable. The same goes for returning to family education. Let children immerse themselves in a romantic and warm fairy tale world. It is better to lift the curtain of cruel life for them at the right time and in the right way, penetrate the objective suffering into them, and tell them that life sometimes Fragile, there will be a difference when we meet. Parents protect their children out of inertia. They don’t want their children to cry or suffer. But when they walk out of the house, your baby is no longer a baby. They have to bear the responsibilities and obligations, and they have to face the pain and darkness.Not any less than others. What matters to our children is not how to recite the magical spells of Harry Potter, but what else to do in these critical moments besides being sad, scared, and praying. To solve our children\’s confusion, as parents we actually have a lot to do. The first is some common sense, from the basic safety knowledge that must be mastered in daily life such as water, electricity, gas, food, air, etc., to fire protection measures, first aid methods, etc.; secondly, the disaster response plan, which is the so-called \”natural and man-made disasters\” that must be possessed capabilities, such as earthquakes, floods, typhoons, traffic accidents, etc. From pre-prevention to post-event response, from psychological construction to stress response, we must learn. Parents are the best teachers for their children. When we, as our own example, can remain calm and composed in the face of unexpected events in life, our children will naturally be able to face all potential dangers safely and turn disaster into good fortune. When we embark on the journey of happiness, we don’t want to imagine that the storm will fall on our heads; when we run freely, we never doubt that our health will remain the same; when we embrace each other happily, we don’t want to believe that tomorrow may be our farewell. . Fear often comes from the unknown, the unknown of the consequences, the unknown of the solution, but the horror will never be alleviated by fear. What we have to face will eventually have to be faced. In this case, why not take advantage of the quiet times to expose the worst results to the sunshine and make careful plans for the future. A healthy life is of course a blessing. If you really become the unfortunate person, the preparation you have already understood can also make you and me open-minded: the ups and downs of life are nothing more than this.