If you were given another chance, would you still choose to be a stay-at-home mother?

Sister Li is a mother of two children and has stayed at home full time for many years. Now her eldest child is about to graduate from elementary school and her younger one is in kindergarten. A few days ago, Sister Li read my previous tweet \”What to do when a stay-at-home mother encounters an affair with her husband?\” She was very moved and added me as a friend to chat with me for a long time at night. She said that her heart had been severely broken recently, and she was so devastated that she needed to talk to heal: Sister Li’s husband has a card that can be used for instant loans at the bank. The mobile phone number he left when applying for the card is now used by Sister Li, so what does he usually need? Sister Li is reading the text messages and passing them on to her husband. They usually don’t use this loan. Some time ago, my husband’s friend needed cash flow, so her husband helped apply for a 200,000 loan. Sister Li confirmed it with her husband after seeing the information. Three days later, my friend paid the money and interest directly to the loan card, thinking that Sister Li’s husband must know about it, so she didn’t tell him specifically. The bank sent the text message to Sister Li\’s mobile phone. It has been more than 20 days since this happened. A few days ago, Sister Li’s husband woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly remembered it. He checked online and found that his friend had paid back the loan a long time ago, but Sister Li did not remind him when he received the message, so he did not operate the loan. I paid it back, so the money has been kept on the bank card in a current status, and the loan of 200,000 is still accruing interest every day. My husband suddenly became angry and called Sister Li at one o\’clock in the morning (Sister Li and her baby slept together, but her husband found it noisy and crowded, so she slept in the guest room by herself) and asked her why she didn\’t tell him after receiving the text message. \”Do you know? I haven\’t been sleeping well recently. I always dream all night long, and occasionally suffer from insomnia. That night, I used a wooden comb to comb my hair repeatedly before going to bed. I didn\’t fall asleep until almost 12 o\’clock. I fell asleep particularly well when the bell rang. I was so familiar that I was in a daze. It took me a few seconds to realize that the phone was ringing. I was very surprised when I saw the caller ID was from my husband! He immediately asked me why I didn’t tell him the text message I received from the bank. I couldn\’t react at all… Later, I ran to the guest room and asked him face to face, and then I found out what was going on.\” Sister Li said that she couldn\’t remember whether she reminded her husband at all. \”I am busy with housework every day. I decided to open an online store a month ago. I am still trying to figure out everything. I am always thinking about the online store in my dreams.\” \”I have never operated his bank card and have no idea how to save money. After I got in, I still had to transfer it before I could repay the loan. From time to time, his card helped this relative and classmate to repay the loan. Sometimes the loan was repaid, the principal was sometimes interest, and there were a lot of text messages. I was so busy that I couldn’t even remember my last name. I almost don’t remember anything. How can I remember if I wanted to or if I reminded him?” Sister Li didn’t say a few words to her husband that night, so she went back to her room and planned to continue sleeping. But suddenly I felt so sad that I couldn\’t sleep anymore. \”Think about that man called husband, who called me at one o\’clock in the morning just for a few hundred dollars in interest. Did he ever think that he would wake me up? Did he consider my feelings? That tone, that kind of Attitude, I really don\’t feel love at all!\” \”No matter how serious the matter is, can\’t we wait until dawn? No matter how huge the loss is, it is not caused by me intentionally. As for questioning me in the middle of the night? It\’s justJust a few hundred dollars in interest! \”I wanted to say at that time: How about I write you an IOU, and the interest will be mine.\” But the saddest thing is that I am a stay-at-home mother. In a sense, I can’t even afford these hundreds of dollars! So I refrained from saying anything. After returning to the room, I wanted to send him messages several times, say harsh words, and condemn him for doing this! But considering that he had to go to work the next day and the whole family had to get up early, he couldn\’t bear it anymore! \”Sister Li, who had trouble sleeping, became more and more sad as she lay in bed thinking about it, silently, with tears streaming down her face. Sister Li has received a higher education, and she can be regarded as a golden phoenix flying out of the mountain nest after all the hard work, and she passed the college entrance examination. The single-plank bridge carries the high expectations of many relatives and friends. She once worked as a white-collar worker in the IT industry and worked as a manager in a Fortune 500 company. She was quite successful in the workplace before. She also hesitated when she chose to be a full-time mother. However, at that time, her husband\’s strong support prompted Sister Li to finally make up her mind. \”Now, I don\’t even have the confidence to say that I want to pay him back hundreds of dollars in interest. Although I have a card and money, this is not the case.\” I earned it. When talking about money occasionally, Sister Li’s husband would joke: “I earned it all!” \”Sister Li said that when she heard this sentence, she felt bored and even embarrassed, unable to refute and unwilling to refute him. \”Life is just a mess, just make do with it. \”I have neither the interest nor the courage to speculate on whether he is having an affair, whether he has a mistress, or whether he still loves me.\” \”At the end of the chat, Sister Li said eloquently: \”If you give me another chance, I will never choose to be a stay-at-home mother! \”Sister Li\’s story made me deeply moved, because I have so many similarities with Sister Li. What happened to her was like something that could happen to me in a minute! So I couldn\’t help but recall that year: 11 years ago , the night before Dabao Xiaoxi was born, I had my first labor pain. I thought that my husband might have to stay up late the next day, so I endured the pain alone that whole night, writing down the time with pen and paper, and calculating the intervals. . It wasn’t until daybreak that the labor pains lasted five or six minutes before I woke up my husband and the child’s grandmother and grandma, and set off to the hospital. During the confinement period, Xiaoxi always had black and white, and she had to wake up and play for two hours every night. I In order not to disturb the father of the child who takes up half the bed and sleeps like a pig, and not to affect his ability to go to work the next day, I hold the child by myself and sit quietly on or beside the bed for two hours every night. Xiao Xi on In the winter of the kindergarten class, otitis media broke out at night, and I cried in pain for a while. My husband had a very important project to finish the next day, and he had to give a report. In order to let him get enough sleep, I let him sleep in a small guest room. , I stayed up until midnight with my child, and finally at two o\’clock in the morning, despite the biting cold, I took a taxi with my child to go to the ENT hospital for emergency treatment. Because of my feelings, I can\’t bear to deprive you of sleep. As long as I haven\’t fallen down yet, As long as I can carry it alone, I will let you have a good sleep. Because I respect your work and recognize your status in the workplace and at home, even if there is a fire, I will rush to put out the fire first, \”Because you are more important than me!\” \”The reports you make are important, the meetings you hold are important, the clients you meet are important, and youThe dinner party you attend is very important, so I try to take away your worries so that you can solve important problems and do important things with peace of mind. If one day, my husband calls me at 1 a.m. to ask me about something that is not urgent, I really don’t know how I will feel. When you love someone, you at least want them to have a good meal and a good night\’s sleep! Respecting a person should not easily wake her up from her sleep! When you recognize a person, you think her existence is valuable and her sleep is valuable! Her good mood is more valuable! Being a stay-at-home mother is a high-risk profession with high effort and low returns. If you choose to be a stay-at-home mother, you are choosing a road that becomes increasingly narrow! You cut off your wings and gave up flying. You folded your troops and turned around to leave the original battlefield. From now on, your contribution is immeasurable. People who are thoughtful can imagine your labor and say that you are very busy. People who are not caring are blind and say that you have done nothing all day long. From now on, your value is maintained in your husband and children. If they recognize it, you will be rewarded. If they do not recognize it, your work will be in vain. There are also cases of stay-at-home mothers who have successfully returned to the workplace, but we can only see her success, not how much effort and effort she put in to rebuild her career. There are also mothers who work full-time and live a colorful life, but such people are rare and can only be looked up to and worshiped as role models. Moreover, those colorful interests and hobbies are mostly just to pass the time, and what they earn is nothing more than the confidence to be a human being! There is always a sense of helplessness! If given another chance, would I still choose to be a stay-at-home mother? After listening to Sister Li’s story, I think my answer should be no, right? !