If your child is timid, introverted and shy, parents must learn this trick

A mother asked me: \”My daughter is very timid and introverted. She is very slow to warm up and very sensitive at the same time. After class, she wants to play with other children on the playground, but she doesn\’t know what to do. How to join in. Even if she plays with everyone, she will withdraw from the crowd after a short time. When she meets someone she doesn\’t know, she will stick close to me or even hide behind me. How should I help her? 01 The Courage to Approach Slowly In a quiet town, there lived a girl named Xiaoxue. She is thirteen years old. She is introverted and sensitive. She is afraid of strangers and does not know how to get along with other people of her age. Every time after school, the school playground is always full of laughter and laughter, but Xiaoxue always stands aside, holding her mother\’s hand tightly. On this day, the sun was shining brightly, and the playground was full of joy again. Xiaoxue stood on the edge of the playground, watching other students playing. Her mother knelt down gently and stroked her hair gently: \”Xiaoxue, do you want to go over and play with them?\” Xiaoxue nodded slightly, but did not move. Mom smiled and said, \”I will stay with you here. You can take your time and observe their games first.\” Xiaoxue nodded, feeling a little comforted in her heart. A few days later, Xiaoxue still didn\’t have the courage to walk over. She just watched from a distance, her heart full of contradictions and struggles. One day, her mother took out a bunch of rag dolls at home and said to Xiaoxue: \”Let\’s play a game. Let the dolls play together and you play the role of a little doll.\” Xiaoxue hesitated, but still sat down. , started playing doll games with her mother. The mother used the dolls to simulate a playground scene, letting a shy little baby gradually approach the other dolls. One day after school, my mother and Xiaoxue were sitting by the playground. Mom said softly: \”Look, there are some classmates playing basketball over there. Let\’s take a step closer together, okay? I will always be by your side.\” Xiaoxue bit her lip and nodded nervously. With her mother\’s encouragement, she slowly took a step and then stopped. Her mother didn\’t urge her, she just looked at her tenderly. \”Okay, let\’s take a rest here.\” Mom said softly, continuing to chat with Xiaoxue about the scene on the playground. After a few minutes, her mother asked again: \”Do you think you can get closer?\” Xiaoxue took a deep breath and took another step. This time, she felt as if there was a force in her heart supporting her. One afternoon a few days later, my mother took Xiaoxue to the playground. This time, they met a boy of the same age who was trying to ride a new skateboard. The mother smiled and said to the boy: \”I like your skateboard.\” The boy was a little shy and looked back at his mother. Xiaoxue\’s mother immediately took a step back and said, \”I\’m sorry, I scared you. Can I watch you skate from a distance?\” The boy smiled and nodded. Xiaoxue\’s mother stepped back a little further and said, \”You\’re really good at skating.\” The boy looked back at his mother again. This time, he seemed more confident. He skated towards Xiaoxue\’s mother and took the initiative to chat with her. Xiaoxue looked on, feeling a little courage in her heart. She held her mother\’s hand tightly and said silently: \”I can be like that boy too. \”A few days later, Xiaoxue finally took the step she had been waiting for. She walked towards her classmates who were playing basketball. Although she was still nervous, she knew that her mother was not far away, giving her endless support and warmth. Xiaoxue slowly approached her classmates and began to get involved in their games. Although she would look back at her mother from time to time, she knew that she would be able to enjoy this happiness as long as she took her time. 02 Gentle nudge to guide introverted children out of their comfort zone. When interpreting and dealing with Xiaoxue\’s situation, we can use the psychological theory of \”Graduated Exposure Therapy\”, which is often used to treat anxiety disorders. and phobias, by gradually exposing them to fearful situations to help individuals slowly adapt to and overcome their fears. **Gradual exposure therapy** emphasizes gradually adapting to and reducing anxiety reactions through gradual exposure to the source of fear. In Xiaoxue\’s case. , we can design a series of activities that gradually increase social interaction to help her gradually adapt to interacting with others. Implementation methods 1. Establish a sense of security and trust – **Environmental safety**: Create a comfortable and stress-free environment at home, through Games and interactions increase Xiaoxue’s sense of security. Role-playing games at home are a good start – **Emotional Safety**: Respect Xiaoxue’s pace, do not force her to engage in social activities, and let her know that she can retreat to it at any time. Mom’s side. 2. Gradually expose to social situations – **Slow steps**: Start with simple social situations, such as interacting with a familiar friend, and then gradually increase the number of people and complexity of the interaction – **Simulated social situations*. *: Through role-playing games, Xiaoxue can simulate interactions with peers in a familiar environment, reducing anxiety in actual scenarios. 3. Positive reinforcement and encouragement – ​​**Positive Feedback**: Every time Xiaoxue takes a step, Give her positive feedback and praise to boost her confidence – **Gradual advancement**: Increase the difficulty appropriately after each successful social interaction, but maintain the principle of nudges and don\’t put too much pressure on her. . Specific suggestions: – **Observation and understanding**: First, observe Xiaoxue’s behavior patterns, understand her reactions in different situations, and use these interests to design social activities. Small goals**: Set a series of small goals based on Xiaoxue’s specific situation. For example, stand and observe on the playground in the first week, walk closer and observe in the third week, and try to talk to one or two classmates – ** Use the reward mechanism**: Whenever Xiaoxue completes a small goal, you can give her some small rewards to enhance her motivation. For example, after completing the conversation with her classmates, you can go eat her favorite ice cream together – **Family Participation*. *: Active participation and support from family members is very important at home.Members can also participate in role-playing games to help Xiaoxue feel more supported and understood. Through these methods, we can gradually help Xiaoxue adapt to social situations, overcome social anxiety, develop self-confidence, and finally be able to enjoy interacting with peers. It\’s important to be gentle and patient throughout the process, respecting her pace and feelings. This kind of gentle nudge is not only suitable for children like Xiaoxue, but can also be extended to other children in similar situations to help them gradually step out of their comfort zones and achieve growth and progress in a safe environment. Every introverted and timid child has a heart longing to integrate and be accepted. Gentle nudges give them the courage to approach slowly and help them move towards social freedom step by step. This is not only a small step in a child\’s growth, but also our responsibility and mission as parents and educators. If you think this article has inspired you, please like it, leave a message, and share it with more parents in need.