If your parents don’t get along, don’t use your children as bargaining chips.

Divorced spouses may not be able to be husband and wife, but they can be co-parents. Don\’t use children as bargaining chips. As long as you put aside your personal grudges, you still have a chance to be a good parent and give your children complete love. —————————————Four people are sitting in the mediation room, two of them were husband and wife before, but now they are dear passers-by. The other two are real passers-by, one is the mediator and the other is me. I am the woman’s lawyer, but the man is acting alone and seems a little nervous. \”I haven\’t been able to see my child for a long time. I hope I can see my child.\” My mother said, \”When I got divorced, because I had no financial means, I left the child to my father to take care of me. There was no problem in the first few months. Later, he wouldn\’t let me take him home and could only interact with the children at his house.\” \”I didn\’t let you watch, but you failed to fulfill your responsibility as a mother. You promised that you would come to take care of the children at home after the divorce. You have Really? You said you wanted to read bedtime stories to your children, have you?\” Dad said coldly. My mother\’s face turned red and she wanted to retort. I patted her hand and asked her not to speak. \”However, since we are divorced, mother wants to visit the child and take the child back to where she lives. This is the right given to the mother by the law and you cannot deprive it of it.\” I said calmly. \”The problem isn\’t here, it\’s that the mother doesn\’t take the child seriously at all.\” His mood fluctuated a bit. \”After the divorce, she didn\’t have the heart to take care of the child at all. I don\’t trust her to take her back.\” \”Today It\’s your birthday. Thank you for your hard work. It\’s your birthday and you have to come here to hold court.\” I suddenly discovered that my father\’s birthday is today, \”Happy birthday to you.\” \”Thank you, you are the first person to wish me a happy birthday today. \”He choked up a little. \”What is your most desired wish for your birthday today?\” I asked. He hesitated for a moment, seeming to be thinking about why I would ask such a question at this time, \”Maybe because I want our children to be happy!\” \”That\’s what I thought!\” I said with a smile, \”If that\’s the case, Should you allow the child to see his mother often? He needs his mother\’s care, can he ask you?\” He lowered his head and said no more. After a long thirty seconds, he raised his head and made up his mind to say, \”Okay, she can come and take the children back to her home every two weeks, just like in the past.\” \”That\’s great! Thank you for your help.\” I said, \”Then, can the mother take the children to spend the Chinese New Year at her parents\’ home next year? ?\” \”Yes.\” He answered simply, \”But I request that the child cannot receive red envelopes from her parents.\” \”Why?\” I asked curiously. \”Because her parents said that I raised this child to make money with their family. I refuse to accept such accusations.\” The mother\’s fingers clenched into fists, obviously disapproving of what her father said. I looked at my mother and still motioned her not to speak. \”What does this have to do with children not being able to receive red envelopes? The Chinese New Year is just about asking for money.Joy, is this necessary? \”My father suddenly became a little angry and said, \”Don\’t push yourself too far! do you know? I work and take care of my children at the same time. As a single father, do you know how hard it is for me? I had to read my child\’s home-school contact book, sleep with my child, take my child to see a doctor, and so many other things. What did she do? No! Nothing at all! \”While venting his anger, he punched the table, as if he wanted to vent his hard work and anger in the mediation room. \”Oh? is that so? \”The decibel of my speech suddenly increased, \”You two are the same, using children as bargaining chips. Have you ever considered your children’s feelings? You are robbing your child every day just for the sake of face. He is not a thing, he is a human being. Why can\’t you try to be cooperative parents? If you can\’t be a couple, you can be parents! Can you put aside your grievances and think about your children? It’s okay if you disagree! When we go to court, let’s not mediate and let the judge decide, okay? \”The scene was silent, except for the father\’s sobs, while the mother pursed her lips tightly to hold back tears. \”I didn\’t use the child as a bargaining chip! \”My father made a weak protest. \”Oh? you have not? \”I sneered, \”Okay! Let me ask you, is it because the parents-in-law offended you that your children cannot receive red envelopes? Isn\’t this using children as bargaining chips? He was stunned, with tears still hanging on his face. \”If it is true that the child\’s grandmother has ever said these words to you, I will apologize to you on his behalf.\” \”I looked into his eyes and said sincerely, \”When we quarrel, we always say what we say without hesitation, but I believe she doesn\’t mean it. He wiped his tears and said, \”Okay, I accept your visitation plan. The child will also miss his mother.\” \”Then, he suddenly stood up and stretched out his hand, \”Lawyer, can I shake your hand? \”I simply stood up and hugged him. Behind me, I heard him start crying quietly again. It was a sound of releasing emotions. A few months later, I received a letter from my father. The content was as follows : \”Hello, Lawyer Lu: I am your client\’s defendant. I want to thank you. You really opened up a knot in my heart for so many years. It seems that you have vindicated me, but I really feel like I am understood. I don’t know why, but I just feel that I am being noticed and trying to understand. Maybe you won\’t agree with what I do, or maybe we are on opposite sides. She and I finally entered the court, and there was someone who, in an unexpected atmosphere, chose to understand my dilemma first. That night I apologized to my son: it was his father who refused to let him look at mommy, and he would never do it again. Mommy also promised that she would tell him stories again after he enters first grade, and then his son Laughed! A smile of relief, a smile of freedom, a smile of knowing that I have a chance to be happier, a smile that I know really existed. Thank you for letting me know that even if I sincerely do good for my children, I will unknowingly use them as bargaining chips in negotiations. Thank you for everything you have done for my family, which was originally I should have done it first. And you are relatively thin! \”