I\’m always worried about what\’s going on with my child every day

Why is worrying about your children a curse? Why do things that parents worry about more often happen? Because of worry and fear, parents\’ emotions will become anxious and sensitive. When we observe, judge and respond to our children\’s behavior, we will think and advance according to the model we worry about problems. Children often lack the ability to self-evaluate and judge. Their understanding and definition of themselves are entirely based on their parents\’ evaluations. They will understand and define themselves through their parents\’ evaluations and understandings, and treat their parents Give corresponding feedback to your words and deeds. In this way, the children in our eyes will naturally have the problems that we are worried about, which will further make us confirm: \”Look, I knew that the child would be like this, and it turned out like this. I was worried, right?\” In fact, it is It is our own self-design, self-verification, and self-construction that catalyzed a problem that did not originally exist in the child. It is we who have become the biggest creator of the child\’s problems. For example, some parents are worried that their children will be lazy and not study. They believe that if they do not monitor and control strictly, their children will definitely not study. So a surveillance camera was installed in the child\’s room to monitor the child\’s life and study. [Complete works from primary school to high school] Kangaroo Mathematical Olympiad real questions American Mathematics Competition mathkangaroo real questions pdf This itself has actually made \”evil\” and \”slavish\” inferences and assumptions about children. This kind of recognition and worry will become negative psychological implications, and ultimately It forms an invisible shackles and curse and becomes the child\’s perception of himself. Unconsciously, it is parents who are turning their children into study-weary and servile people. I met a 30-year-old person who said: \’Without my family to take care of me, I can\’t maintain a regular schedule; without supervision and supervision, I can\’t study by myself…\’ I think this person\’s understanding of himself is Knowledge must be constructed by the caregiver during the growth process. During his growth, there must be a caregiver who constantly reinforces: \”You have no self-control ability, you need to be supervised…\” Therefore, worry is a psychological suggestion , what we try to avoid is often the easiest to realize. If we want to create problems for our children, we will continue to worry and strengthen these worries. So, how to avoid becoming the biggest creator of children\’s problems? The most important thing is for parents to improve themselves The ability to manage emotions. Once you find yourself trapped in anxiety, worry and fear, you can use scientific and effective methods to help yourself adjust your emotions, so that you will not say or do irrational educational behaviors under the control of your emotions. When we If we have strong ability to manage emotions and can adjust our own emotions, we will find that our inner anxiety and fear will be reduced a lot. Many of the problems in our children are no longer problems in our eyes. What is more interesting is that those problems that we do not regard as problems , in the end it really didn’t appear, or it appeared temporarily but disappeared quickly. Therefore, parents’ peaceful emotional state and relaxed mind are the best ba academy for their children, the best education for their children, and all subsequent education. The foundation. Improving the ability to manage situations is what I have repeatedly done in my work over the years.Emphasis on parents is also at the forefront of all my courses. Today I would like to share with you an after-class reflection from student Wang Yue. I believe it will bring further inspiration to everyone. The previously mentioned Pyrrhyon Effect: What did you expect? You will get something. What you get is not what you want, but what you expect. Suddenly it sparked something vague in my mind. I am afraid of the consequences of various things. Before doing something, the first thing that comes to my mind is \”What do others think?\” and I frame myself and imprison myself. The same is true for the first reaction to various normal behaviors of children, thus imprisoning children with unlimited possibilities. Therefore, the words that appear in your mouth are often negative: if you continue to eat snacks, your resistance will decrease, you will be infected with viruses, and all your teeth will fall out. If you look at your mobile phone again, your eyes will become myopic. If your eyes are myopic, you will need glasses. If you wear glasses, there will be restrictions on your choice of major in college. If you don\’t study hard, you won\’t be able to go to college. If you don\’t go to college, you won\’t have a job and will have to do odd jobs. …Oh my God, it’s all curses and depression. Children must be so divided. Once they fail to control themselves, they will move forward with heavy shackles. You get what you expect. I focused all my attention on the outside and not on the thing itself. The subconscious mind is also moving in this direction: I don’t believe in myself, I don’t believe in my children, and then tell myself, you see, I am right. Walk unswervingly in the direction of \”expectation\”, and you can\’t live up to it! If you change your thinking in another direction and have positive expectations in your heart, you will unconsciously move in a positive direction, so you must have good expectations in your heart. A few days ago, my sister told me: Mom, the PE teacher asked me to take the lead, but I don’t want to go, I’m timid. Me: Wow, the teacher must have seen your hard work and done well in the exercises. He chose you to be the leader. I had never been elected when I was in school. I am so envious of you. (Original: Why are you so timid? What a great opportunity. If you don’t seize this opportunity, the teacher will not choose you if something like this happens in the future.) Sister: It will be embarrassing if I don’t do it well. Me: When you watch the Winter Olympics, are there very powerful athletes who also make mistakes, but they insist on completing the competition? This process of persistence is particularly admirable. It doesn’t matter, your mother will accompany you to practice at home, just do it boldly. , as long as you do it, it’s good. (It turns out: You just need to practice more. Why can’t you do well if you practice more? The teacher chooses you to be the leader. If you don’t do well, the teacher will not like you. Why don’t you cherish such a good opportunity?) Two There are two different kinds of expectations, one is to make children retreat under pressure, and the other is to provide children with the strength to move forward. Provide the child with the strength to move forward. Even if the child chooses to reject the teacher in the end, she will not be hit by it. As time goes by, she will become less and less afraid of difficulties. And this expectation also injects respect and positive emotions into the children. With these good foundations, the ability to resist frustration will definitely become stronger and stronger. Isn’t this a wonderful expectation?