I\’m so glad I didn\’t isolate myself from my children.

When the child turned eleven months old, I finally decided to wean him. In fact, I already had this plan when he was half a year old, but every time I saw his pitiful look, I just couldn\’t bring myself to do it. I made an agreement with my mother-in-law and my husband that I really need to wean off my breast milk this time, and they expressed their cooperation, because it has been more than a year since I left my job, and I can only return to the workplace after weaning off my breast milk. So, in order to prevent the baby from thinking about breastfeeding when he saw me, they took him out to play all morning and afternoon during the day, and then brought him back when he fell asleep outside. When he wakes up, he puts it in grandma\’s room, or lets me go to the room to hide. As a result, the baby was very unhappy for a few days. He was depressed because he couldn\’t see me all day long. His hunger made him accept drinking milk powder. He didn\’t have much resistance to weaning, which was beyond our imagination. It’s just that my husband and mother-in-law said that the baby couldn’t get excited outside and would always look for his mother. He would also suddenly break down and cry at home, and no one could comfort him. You know, he is such a lively and cheerful child! I told my family no, you can\’t let him and I not see each other all day. He doesn\’t reject milk powder and meals, and there is no need to isolate us like this. My mother-in-law said, \”I\’ve been here. If you don\’t believe it, try it. You can\’t wean if you\’re next to him.\” I didn\’t listen, so I ran out of my room. The crying baby burst out laughing and raised his hands to hold her. hug. I held him in my arms and kept telling him, \”Baby, you have grown up and can no longer drink your mother\’s milk, okay?\” He didn\’t understand at first, and he still nudged me against my chest. Later, I kept saying this, and he understood, didn\’t make a fuss, and held the bottle obediently. When he slept next to me at night, he didn\’t cry like he did when sleeping with grandma. He just curled up in my arms, raised his legs and put them on me, without asking for milk. Just like that, we successfully weaned. For children, this is a process that they are unprepared for, caught off guard and passively accepted. In the eyes of a child, the cruelest thing is not weaning, but not allowing him to see his mother! Psychologist Winnicott said: If the mother can breastfeed her child satisfactorily and at the same time integrate with the baby, and maintain it for a long enough time until she and the baby feel that each other is a complete individual, then the baby The emotional development of babies has gone a long way in the direction of health, and has become the basis for babies to survive independently in the world in the future. So I am glad that I made the decision not to isolate myself from my children. When he needed me most, I tried my best to give him a lot of love. The child\’s psychological umbilical cord is always connected to the mother. Where the mother is, there is home and a sense of security. I still remember that when the baby was just born, I struggled for a long time. I don’t want to breastfeed because I want to go to work as soon as possible, and I don’t want to stay at home to take care of my children full-time. I feel like I’m going crazy. Later, I thought, I am just a child. If I go back to work in a first-tier city, the child is so young and must be left at home. He will be separated from his mother at such a young age. I can\’t bear to think about this every time, until he is old enough, I will take him out after the Chinese New Year and stay with me. With children around, those days of freedom and publicity in the past are gone forever. Dinners and activities with friends will be refused without a second thought. When buying things, they will consciously delete items in the shopping cart.Instead of unnecessary expenses, I replaced my child\’s milk powder, clothes and diapers. After get off work, I no longer want to go for a swim, but rush home without stopping. When I opened the door and saw the baby smiling, showing a few small white teeth, shouting \”Mom, Mom\”, I forgot all about the fatigue of the day. At that time, a colleague said to me: \”Let\’s calculate an account. If you take your child to Shenzhen, your mother-in-law or other people will take care of it. If you have a child, you must have a lot of things, such as strollers, fences, and toys. Then you He must rent at least two rooms, and when he gets older, he will need three rooms. The living room cannot be too small, otherwise there will be no room to live. In this case, a large part of your salary will be used to pay rent. With two more people living with you, daily expenses Definitely a lot more. And because of your children, you are also greatly restricted when looking for a job. You will want to find a place closer to you so that you can go back immediately. You will choose a job that does not work overtime, which will greatly affect your future. In addition, in order to make it easier to hold the child, your clothes and shoes should be as simple as possible to facilitate work, and your hair can only be styled into a ponytail. The image of a beautiful girl you have been pursuing has long since collapsed. When everyone asks you to play, you always refuse, which will offend others. Well, even if you don\’t offend, you can\’t enhance the relationship.\” I said, \”I know all what you said, but in calculation, compared with the sadness of leaving the child in his hometown as a left-behind child, it is still much more cost-effective. Nothing is as happy as my son being with me. He is happy, I am happy, and nothing else is so important.\” However, it makes me sad to think about how many parents have to be isolated from their children. When your child needs you most, you are not by his side. I can\’t even cook a meal for my child that he likes to eat. While chatting, my friend\’s eyes suddenly turned red. She said, \”I really envy you sometimes. My child has been left in my hometown for four years. I go back once or twice a year and I feel that he is very strange to me and his father. Every time Every time he caught a cold or had a fever, I could only make anxious phone calls. I heard that he was sensible and handsome again, but I couldn’t hug him or kiss him in person.” I said, “Then you should pick up the child too!” She said: \”We plan to work in Shenzhen for a few more years, and we will still have to go back in the future. Buying a house here is a fantasy. Just make a few years of money. If the children and the elderly come here, we will not be able to save any money.\” , then what’s the point of us staying in a big city?” “Isn’t it the greatest meaning to spend a beautiful childhood full of love with my parents and see the outside scenery.” I said. Half a month later, one day when she was at work, she came to my seat and said happily: \”I took the child over! I can be with the child every day!\” I deliberately said: \”Let\’s go shopping after work. Right?\” She rolled her eyes and said: \”I don\’t have time to wander around. I will be another you from now on.\” I am very happy. I have not missed any of the child\’s growth process. I know how he went from being unable to lift something when he wanted to eat. The little fat man in his mouth turned into a handsome boy who ate a small biscuit in one mouthful and half a bowl of porridge in one breath. I know how he learned to stand up and how he learned to speak. I participated in every progress and responded to every emotion. As a new mother, this sense of satisfaction is unparalleled. maybe II won’t have another child in the future. Maybe I will have another child. I can’t guarantee that I am a perfect mother. What I can guarantee is that I will do my best to accompany my child to grow up. Since I brought him to this world, I want to accompany him to see the beauty and wonder of this world. In the heart of a child, nothing can compare to a warm embrace, a warm kiss, a nest where you can act like a baby at any time, and the endless love of your parents that will never be absent. Companionship is the most precious gift a mother can give to her child. And becoming a mother is an identity that is full of sacred meaning for every woman. From now on, there is a life closely connected with you.