In 3 steps, see clearly how children learn to interact with others

Children long to have good friends, but they cannot make friends. It is difficult for children to integrate into the group and they are always dissociated. Conflicts between children and good friends will not be resolved. How to help children when encountering these problems? Interpersonal skills are one of the core abilities of human survival. How do children develop their interpersonal skills? As parents, what do we need to do? Let\’s follow Teacher Xiao Zhu and experience the \”Friendship Sensitive Period\” as a child to experience the process of children exploring friendship and developing communication skills. First of all, we need to know what a sensitive period is. Only by knowing it can we realize its importance and help our children in time. The so-called sensitive period refers to a person who is more susceptible to specific types of stimuli in the environment. Sensitive period represents the best period for the emergence of specific abilities. During the sensitive period of friendship, children will like a child very much and will be \”obsessed\” with their relationship with their good friends. They especially want to play and stay with their good friends. Now let\’s assume that you are a baby about three years old. We will focus on the \”Friendship Sensitive Period\”, look back and forth at your past, describe your present, and look forward to your future. ① First of all, before I was 3 years old, you were immersed in the relationship between yourself and yourself, and between yourself and objects. You are very fascinated by your body and senses, and you are exploring it all the time. You use your mouth to chew it, your hands to pinch and touch it, and your feet to walk, step, run, and explore. At this time, you are constantly trying and exploring yourself and the outside world. In fact, you can also pay attention to other people at this time. It\’s not that you have no feelings for people outside, but you pay relatively less attention. ② Next is me and you when you are 3 or 4 years old. You start to like playing with your friends. At this time, you are particularly concerned about a child with whom you have a good relationship, and notice that there is an emotional connection between you. This feeling makes you very fascinated. You want to go to school and be with this good friend, be with him after class, eat together, play together, wait for him after class, and call his name from a distance. You will also suffer. Your pain is: this good friend doesn’t play with you anymore! Do you really care about him, does it feel a bit like \”first love\”? If parents pay attention, they can also feel the difference from the previous communication in their children\’s communication. From the previous \”I\” to \”we\”, the children have learned to use the word \”friend\”. When you were 3 years old, you discovered that you could have a close relationship with someone other than your mother. At this time you will build a relationship with a child individually. (1) At this time, you will maintain friendship in order to survive. In order to pursue friendship, you begin to practice managing and maintaining friendship. In this process, you must consider the other person and make others like to be with you. This is crucial content for us humans, \”animals that only gain a chance of survival by providing services to others.\” When you have the experience of considering others and serving others, it will be easier for you to survive in this society. (2) At this time, you will never give up or abandon friendship. For example, let’s feel it: Xiaoxiao is a person in a groupAs a leader, she leads her small group every day and organizes various games. The team members have a lot of fun. Even if they encounter problems, they can solve them together. Lele is a child outside the small group of Xiaoxiao. Recently, she fell in love with Zhuangzhuang, a boy in the group, but Zhuangzhuang didn\’t like playing with Lele very much. Every time Lele would ask Zhuang Zhuang if he could play with her, but he was rejected every time. Sometimes Lele would deliberately pretend to be a character in their game and wait quietly, but still failed. Lele even approached their leader and wanted to join them, but was still rejected. But Lele didn\’t give up, and was still trying to join Zhuangzhuang\’s circle. Think about it, if you are an adult, being rejected so many times, you must be sad and desperate! They will regard themselves as victims, and they will also think that Zhuang Zhuang and Xiao Xiao are too rude and arrogant. But in childhood, children don\’t have that many ideas. They will not give up on themselves, feel sad and despair, and no longer want to interact with others just because their companions\’ attitudes and methods do not satisfy them. Children will try to build friendships again and again, just as they fell down and stood up again and finally learned to walk. This is why nature allows children to practice interacting with their friends during childhood, so that the foundation of their social abilities is laid during this time. (3) At this time, you use wisdom for the sake of friendship. In order to make this person your good friend, you will try to use various methods to achieve your goal. For example: inducement, exchanging material things for feelings; compromising; accepting other people\’s opinions; shortening the distance through games. In this process, you not only gain friendship, but more importantly: in the process of interacting with different types of children, you gain the ability to adapt to the group. In the process of making friends with one child, the ability to interact with others that you practice will be extended to the second person, the third person, and more people, thus developing the ability to interact with others. By the age of five Just enter the group. At this time, you can already do this: you don’t join the group just because someone in the group is your friend. Even if you don’t have that person, you will still join the group. This lays a good psychological foundation for children to enter the group in the future. Because when you grow up, you will have more circles and know more people. When children learn during childhood that they can interact with different people and manage different types of group relationships, then it will be easier for the children to live happily. ③ My future self In the future, there may be two different yous (1) You who successfully passed the sensitive period of friendship. You passed this period smoothly and naturally. Making friends is an easy thing for you. , your relationship with your friends is harmonious and close. Someone can listen to you, support you, and understand you; someone can make jokes with you; your life will be fulfilling and happy. (2) If you don’t pay attention to this period in time, it will be difficult for you to join the group when you are five years old. You can only play with one child. When the child you play with also joins the group, you will be alone and it will be difficult for you to establish the ability to join the group. After reaching elementary school, it is easy to fail. The further I go, the more isolated I feel.Unaided. You will feel that you are very pitiful and cannot join the group. You will become less and less understanding of the needs of the group, and it will be more difficult for you to rely on group cooperation to achieve success. After entering society, it will be difficult to complete work through group cooperation, which will cause difficulties in life. So as teachers and parents, what should we do when our children reach this stage? (1) When helping children build friendships, you can first invite one child to your home instead of two at once (it is possible that the two children are playing well, but your child is still in an isolated situation). (2) Provide a multi-factor environment for children. When children invite people to play, they can play creatively, make the game more in-depth, and gain more pleasure from each other through the game. (3) When a child becomes sad or loses his temper because he did not join a group or became good friends with someone, wait until the child has finished losing his temper, and then discuss the reasons and solutions with the child. But don\’t make too much sense. Remember, remember. (4) When a child is \”abandoned\” by a good friend, he will also be very painful. At this time, you can just listen to his pain. After the pain, he will desperately find a way to get a new friend. The ability to build friendships grows out of this pain. Don\’t let your children miss the opportunity to grow up because you are reluctant to let them go.