In families where children lie flat, 99% of parents have this!

According to incomplete statistics in the psychology industry, 99% of parents who have children lying on their backs at home are relatively rational, have rules, and follow the guidelines. This is a phenomenon worth pondering. 01 Reasonable and Correct Parents There is a video online. A middle school student is late. The teacher lectures him at the door of the classroom. The child is silent at first. After a while, the child speaks: \”Have you finished speaking? It\’s almost done.\” Come on, I can go into the classroom.\” The child will definitely not listen to what the teacher is saying, because the child knows that he is talking correct nonsense, and because he does not understand the child\’s needs. Parents, when you are trying to reason with your children at home, does this situation also happen to you? Parents convey their expectations to their children in their own way, and children express their disappointment in their parents in their own way. Today\’s children need equal dialogue and a high voice. This is a prerequisite for being able to reason with children. If parents just reason with their children and say 1, 2, and 3 when there is something wrong, then the child will not listen. He will either be tit-for-tat, or lie down and show off to his parents. As a parent, think about it. If your child agrees with what you say, it means that the child is wrong. If the child does not agree with what the parents say, then there will be conflicts and tit-for-tat confrontation. If the parents are more forceful and controlling, and the children cannot talk to their parents or at home, the children will go online to talk about it, or they will show off and refuse to communicate with their parents. Parents, please think about this: Do you want to win your child or win your child? 02 Be a parent who understands your children. Today’s children are rich in knowledge and have a wide range of knowledge. They may understand more principles than their parents. A teacher lamented in the group that today\’s children are talking about France in class. The students said: \”Teacher, have you been to France? I lived there for a long time.\” What kind of environment creates what kind of children? . China banned food stamps in 1993, which meant we no longer had to worry about food. So what should we worry about? The needs of parents in that era and the era that children live in now are different. People’s needs for others are different, parents’ needs for children are different, society’s needs for people are different, people’s needs for society are different, and the needs of parents and children are also different. In the past, parents had brothers and sisters, but now the child is alone, an only child, born into the world with a sense of loneliness. When people are lonely, they will feel sad for no reason and shed tears for no reason. When a person is alone, his thinking ability becomes very strong. If people don\’t think about food and clothing, they will prematurely think about the ultimate question of life: \”What is the meaning of my existence?\” Therefore, today\’s children have a relatively low sense of reality and very rich imagination, which is even beyond the reach and understanding of their parents. If you just reason with the child, the child will not be convinced. There is a line that says: I know so many truths, but I still can’t live a good life. What people say is right, but the way they say it is wrong. People have an instinct to repay whoever treats them well. A relative\’s grandson is four years old. He often says to his grandma: \”Grandma, I\’ll spend it on you when I have money.\” This makes grandma smile. But once a child goes to school, he will know that he cannot repay his parents\’ kindness, because his parents will not ask for his money to repay his kindness.What they want is for him to study well and go to a prestigious university. But there are only a few famous universities, and only a few at the top. When children fail to meet their parents\’ expectations no matter how hard they try, they can only read novels and play games to relieve their anxiety. Today\’s children grow up in an environment of love, so today\’s children are more compassionate, love others, and sympathize with the weak. When he finds that nothing can be done, he will fall into deep confusion. Do you know your child, do you understand your child? 03 Parents who understand that parents with more than three children love to be reasonable always say: I am good for you, you listen to me, I will not harm you, you follow my standards. In fact, it is essentially a kind of control. You must follow my standards and requirements, and you must become the child I expect. For example: It is a very common thing for a child to be late, and it is something that happens to all children. Reasonable parents may go up and down the line and say: Being late is a bad habit. We must be honest and punctual. People who are dishonest cannot gain the trust of others. As a parent, think back, did you also experience this kind of education when you were a child? How do you feel inside? At a class reunion, a classmate said that when he was a child, his father kept trying to reason with him. He felt very annoying and irritable, but he did not dare to talk back, so he secretly read martial arts novels. His academic performance was good at first, but then his grades plummeted. The relationship with my father is also relatively distant. He said that he did not have any standard requirements for his daughter. It didn\’t matter if she could study or not. The relationship between father and daughter was very good. Reasoning is a way of communication. If you want your children to listen, you must first establish a channel with your children. If the road is blocked, the more you reason, the more alienated the parent-child relationship will be. If parents want to lead their children, they need their children\’s approval and authorization, as well as methods and skills. I hope the following three more and three less methods will inspire you: 1. Express feelings more, demonstrate more, and preach less. Children don’t listen to what you say, they watch what you do. 2. Express more visions for the future and less expressions of the present. What you can\’t do now doesn\’t mean you can\’t do it in the future. If a person no longer has yearning or expectations for the future, then there will be no motivation. 3. Face reality more and avoid it less. Parents hope that their children can suffer less and even always solve some problems for their children. If your child\’s ability to face difficulties has not been developed, then you don\’t want your child to suffer hardship by your side, and society will make him suffer more. It is very important to cultivate children\’s ability to face reality and solve problems, but it is not necessary to make children suffer artificially. It is difficult for parents who are too rational to establish a good emotional connection with their children, and the communication between parents and children is not smooth. Children first need a safe emotional connection before they can listen to rational analysis. Parents need to put themselves in someone else\’s shoes, stop talking about right and wrong in their emotions, and be reasonable. Because the more you talk about right and wrong and the more reasonable you are, the more the other person becomes a destroyer. Children are very sensitive to emotions, and their ability to observe words and colors is also particularly strong. When communicating between parents and children, they need to face problems with their children and accompany them to solve problems together, rather than reasoning and proving their mistakes. willing to spendMay the tree grow into a flower!