In this trending video, I saw the saddest side of ordinary families

Friends, what was the name of the most unpleasant dish when you were a kid? \”Tears mixed with rice\” Yes, you read it right, it\’s the scene where you are being scolded by your parents at the dinner table, holding back tears and eating white rice with your head down. Recently I came across a video @gg, and a familiar and suffocating feeling came over me. At the dinner table, my mother recounted that my younger brother told others that he got 100 points in math. My father stared at him angrily after hearing this. The younger brother lowered his head in grievance, with tears in his eyes… The moment the little boy looked carefully at the adults, he felt that it was not only him who was broken, but also many viewers in front of the screen. For a child, isn’t it worthy of joy to get a hundred percent score? Absolutely not. So what is this dad angry about? In his logic, \”happily telling others that they scored 100 points on the exam\” is not called sharing, but called showing off, showing off, or even pride, and pride makes people regress. Most people should have had this experience when they were young: if you do well in the exam, you can\’t be too happy; if you don\’t do well in the exam, you can\’t be too depressed. Even when we grow up, society teaches us not to be happy. Once your emotions leak out, you will be labeled as being unable to achieve great things and lacking in authority. In short, you have to be reserved and suppress your emotions. Wu Bi performed an excerpt from the variety show \”Cat in the Box\”: He said that when he was 16 years old, he was admitted to college. I want to share this joy with the people around me, but they all say if I don’t show off, I will get beaten. So he hid his joy. Later, he told his daughter that when playing the piano, you should not have emotions. When you do not study well, you should not have emotions. When you go out to play, you should not be too happy, because extreme joy can lead to sadness… One day, his daughter participated in a competition and won a medal. He asked Why is my daughter unhappy? The daughter asked him: Dad, can I be happy? It\’s so sad. We are ashamed to express happiness in front of others, embarrassed to be happy because of trivial things, and we dare not be happy before others… Since when did expressing emotions become a sin? 02 There was a video that went viral some time ago: On the high-speed train, a boy about 10 years old took the money given by his mother to buy a lunch box. When he came back, he happily told his father that the three flavors were different and the family could eat them interchangeably. When the mother heard this, she immediately became furious and scolded her child. Why did he buy three servings? The child was very confused and said that three people should have one portion each. At this time, the father who had been silent said that he was not hungry and did not want to eat. The mother also followed up and said that she was not hungry, and blamed the child for having to spend all the money to feel comfortable. The father on the side also echoed… After returning two portions, he gave the remaining portion to the child and let the child sit beside him. Complaint education while eating: Your dad and I are reluctant to eat such expensive meals on the high-speed rail. It is not easy to make money… But the little boy sat silently in his seat, sniffling, and put the meal into his mouth while crying. Let\’s assume that if this child buys a meal, will his parents think that he knows how to be frugal? Not really. They will only think that the little boy is selfish and supercilious. So, whatever you do is wrong. Also before, a 14-year-old girl prepared four dishes and one soup for her mother who came home from get off work. The first thing my mother said when she came in and saw the food was: Do I want to praise you? How to eat so many dishes? ! You can imagine how uncomfortable this meal was for the girl. Did you find it? Some parents, childrenNo matter what he did, his first reaction was always to be negative. You are not allowed to express your emotions because you are afraid that you will get carried away if you are too happy, and you are afraid that crying will make you look cowardly. Buying three lunch boxes is a waste of money, buying one is selfish; cooking too much is a waste, cooking too little is… isn\’t this the typical suppressive education of Chinese parents? Do you remember the story in the primary school textbook: \”It\’s wonderful, it\’s terrible\”. The boy wrote a poem, and the mother\’s first reaction was to praise him, it was wonderful! Dad’s first sentence after reading it was: It’s terrible! Two completely opposite attitudes profoundly affect the boy\’s emotions. The final central idea of ​​the story is \”the evaluation of two kinds of love\”. Is it really love to be suppressed like this? To be honest, I still have doubts. Parents are used to presupposing a bad outcome for a behavior, and then deducing the reasons for the bad outcome. But in fact, this causal logic is inherently wrong. Who says happiness means arrogance and showing off? There is a saying that goes like this: Talk to your parents about your worries, and your worries will double; share your joy with your parents, and the joy will disappear. It is precisely because parents provide too little support to their children that the parent-child relationship is so fragmented. Parents may have various social relationships, but as far as children are concerned: parents are everything to them. But if even parents deny their children, what is the difference between this and the sky falling for the children? Therefore, I would like to share the following words with you: If you are an ordinary parent, you don’t have much resources and don’t have much culture, and you don’t know how to educate your children. Then encourage him more, recognize him more, praise him more, understand him more, and support him more. Do not forcefully transfer your own cognition, anxiety, fear, anger, and grievances to your children, which is the best education for your children.