In your mind, have your children grown up?

During the summer vacation, I took my baby back to my mother\’s house a lot, where I ate, drank, and had a good time. In a blink of an eye, there was not much left in the holiday, and my mother was a little panicked: \”I haven\’t even prepared any delicious food for you, why are you leaving so soon?\” I said, \”Why haven\’t you eaten anything delicious? Mom just makes it.\” Delicious!\” But what I was thinking was: Mom, you don\’t know what you are doing. Most of the time, the food you cook is not delicious. I don\’t come home for the delicious food. I come here for the comfort. of. Since when did I feel comfortable at home? Probably after I entered high school, my mother stopped urging us to get up on weekend mornings. Teenage children are full of energy at night and endlessly lazy in the morning. It is really painful to be forced to get up early in the morning. I believe that many people feel the same pain of being urged to get out of bed. In my impression, my mother suddenly stopped urging us to get up. She just wanted to sleep a little longer. Breakfast was put in the pot to prevent it from getting cold. Whoever got up would go and eat it themselves. You also know that as parents born in the 50s and 60s, it is normal for them to have a lot of control over their children and to be lenient with their children. However, once they feel that you are an adult, they will still let go little by little. For example, when you are a teenager, you will no longer come in and out of your room at will. For example, when you become an adult, you will not interfere with your education of your own children. Once, my little niece made a mistake and was scolded by my brother. She cried and asked her grandma for help with her eyes. My mother hesitated to speak and gave her little niece a look of distress. The eyes of the grandfather and grandson were flying back and forth. My brother couldn\’t bear it anymore and took his little niece upstairs for training. My mother hurriedly followed, followed halfway, and then stopped on the stairs. While listening to the movement upstairs, she sighed, finished sighing, and went downstairs silently. My mother said that we are all adults, and we have more knowledge than her, and are better than her in many aspects. Because of this, although she doesn’t understand what we do, and even dislikes it, she doesn’t interfere and allows us to do things on our own. Call the shots. She also doesn’t have any new and fashionable parenting ideas. Her unconscious retreat in our parent-child relationship stems from her simple philosophy of life. Regarding the concession of parents in the lives of their children, another thing that impressed me more deeply was another thing. When I was a child, an uncle from the same village started a new business after getting married. However, during the busy farming season, because they had to work together in the fields, in order to save time and trouble, he would have breakfast at his parents\’ house. This morning, my uncle slept a little longer, and his father waited around. Seeing that the young couple didn\’t come, he came to his new home angrily. He couldn\’t open the door, so he stood outside the wall, yelling and cursing. He gets up. The neighbors thought it was something big and came out to watch the fun. Who knew he was just waking up his son. Everyone tried to persuade each other, one said: \”Forget it, stop scolding, how many young people don\’t sleep in?\” The other said: \”Forget it, wait for him to get up and give him a few words!\” Uncle, he is old Dad also felt bored and turned around and left. After he left, my mother said: \”We are married and we are not children anymore, how can we scold him like this?\” This sentence left a deep impression on me.For the first time, I realized that children also need to have face, and parents and children also need to have a sense of proportion. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I understood that these simple senses of proportion actually contain a lot of content: understanding, respect, equality and a sense of boundaries. Lu Yu had an interview with Liang Anqi, the wife of the gambling king. Liang Anqi is indeed a powerful woman, and people can feel her resoluteness as soon as she appears. Then, seeing He Chaoying, his painting style suddenly became awkward. Because she didn\’t see He Chaoying when she walked in, she decided that He Chaoying was late, so she started scolding her. When she took two steps and saw He Chaoying, Liang Anqi opened her mouth to criticize her. He Chaoying quickly apologized and admitted his mistake and tried to explain. Liang Anqi did not agree with her statement and severely criticized her again. Being criticized by her mother in public, He Chaoying looked embarrassed. While apologizing to Lu Yu, she also smoothed things over for her mother, \”It\’s my fault. It\’s okay. Let her talk.\” If the person being criticized was a seven-year-old girl, Others won\’t think anything of it. After all, in order to develop good habits in children, they must be corrected. However, He Chaoying is already an adult. She is also a boss herself and has subordinates. In public and in front of cameras, she is still scolded as a little girl, which is somewhat inappropriate. To be fair, He Chaoying is not an ineffective child. Liang Anqi herself said: \”She has done well this year…\” She knows that her daughter has done well, but she is still criticizing casually, which seems to be harsh on the surface. Let your daughter become better. In fact, she didn\’t treat her daughter as an adult. \”No matter how old you are, you are my child.\” To some parents, this sentence means: I will always love you. But for other parents, it means: You will always be a child, and you must always listen to me. Because of the existence of such parents, there has always been a group of children like this – forever wandering between escape and return. They miss each other when they leave home, but when they return home, they always have constant conflicts with their parents. Home has always been accompanied by warmth and has always been praised by people. However, just imagine, if a family is full of criticism and criticism, and family members are kidnapped and controlled by morality at every turn, will it still be synonymous with warmth? Where does the happiness of children in a family come from? It starts with parents giving in and treating their children as adults.