Instead of being a \”yelling\” mother, you can actually get along better with your children

Dongdong’s mother had a fight with Dongdong’s father last night, and in the end she burst into tears whether because of grievance or anger. When I saw her in the morning, her eye circles were still red. I thought something big had happened. Unexpectedly, the trigger turned out to be Dongdong. The reason was that Dongdong’s mother helped Dongdong with his homework. Last night, Dongma taught Dongdong to recite Tang poems, read Pinyin, and then tutored English vocabulary and short sentences from 8:30 to 9:30. At first, Xiao Dongdong always described the author of \”The Bride\” as Wang Wei, and he refused to change his mind despite repeated admonitions. Later, I couldn\’t pronounce the difference between the pronunciation of zh, ch, sh and zcs. My mother\’s tongue was almost numb from fatigue. I taught the last English word no less than twenty times, but the child didn\’t remember it. Dongdong\’s mother has been \”roaring\” from 8:30 to 9:30. She is not so much tutoring her children as she is yelling and scolding in a lecturing style. She is exhausted and out of breath. The children are also extremely nervous and keep using My little eyes glanced at my mother\’s face when she lost her temper, and her face turned red. At this time, my father, who was working overtime in the study room, lost his temper. He ran out and said angrily to his mother: Is there anyone like you who teaches children to do homework like this? The whole unit is full of your \”roaring\” sound, can you be patient and say it properly? So teaching the children to do homework turned into a quarrel between husband and wife, and that\’s how it started. Am I the most \”roaring\” mother and wife in history? Dongdong\’s mother began to doubt herself. She even began to regret that she used too much force last night. When I calmed down and thought about my behavior at that time, it was really a bit ridiculous. There was really no need to get angry with a five or six-year-old child harshly for a little homework. But in that situation, how many mothers could really control their emotions and still remain amiable and seductive? Some people even think that not losing one\’s temper is a bit like facing the odds of life without ever being a \”shrew\” and remaining gentle and graceful. Accompanying children to do homework has become a compulsory course for most Chinese mothers. We need to have a certain education ourselves, and more importantly, we must have a calm mind. Sticking to it day after day may seem simple but is indeed not an easy task. I have seen some heartfelt and somewhat funny complaints from moms who accompany them to school on the Internet. I thought that the words written in the children’s homework books may not really be lines of words, but the wrinkles on the mother’s face. Every word is filled with hard work and time. However, education experts point out that losing temper is the biggest enemy of education. The bigger the temper, the worse the effect of education. Material poverty will not cause educational failure, but mental suppression for a long time will create a problem child. This is not alarmist. Every mother wants her children to be physically and mentally healthy and have excellent grades. She doesn’t want to get angry, but she suffers from being unable to control herself. No matter what, your child will grow up slowly, but your emotions will affect your child\’s growth. Growth is an experience that cannot be repeated. Mothers must seize this time and treat it with a cherished attitude. When a mother accompanies her child to do homework, in a broad sense it can also be called reading accompaniment. So what is the purpose of accompaniment reading? What is the meaning? when the children were young, our accompanying reading does not necessarily mean teaching them how much book knowledge, but more importantly, it is actually about accompanying and guiding them to encourage them to develop a learning habit. Just like Dongdong, he is just a child in preschool. When he is doing homework, his mother sits next to him, pays attention to his sitting posture and urges him to concentrate, not to disturb but not to participate too much. It may be enough to gently tell the child a few times when he needs it, so that he can experience that learning is also happy and relaxed, and the rest of the time can be completely left to playing. The writer Long Yingtai once said: To give a hundred aesthetics classes, it is better to let the children walk in nature for a day; to teach a hundred hours of architectural design, it is better to let the students touch a few ancient cities; to teach them a hundred times The skill of literary writing is not as good as letting the writer get his pants dirty in the market. Play can be said to be the foundation of knowledge between heaven and earth. Some seemingly insignificant experiences and play may be more effective than doing a few more exercises and memorizing a few more poems. If Dongdong\’s mother can calm down and let her child play freely and experience it, and not insist on one word or one pronunciation, maybe she will be more relaxed and effective in learning as a beginner than if she \”roared\” a hundred times. Understand these for It will have a good impact on the child\’s future growth. As a mother, I also have a deep understanding of this. My son is six years old this year. He participated in an American English interest class last year. When he was a beginner, he was very interested in the class. Every time he read aloud with the teacher and the children, his voice became hoarse. Despite this, it was still very difficult for me to tutor him after class on what he had learned this week, because he learns quickly and forgets quickly. I taught him over and over again, and at that time he was hitting his little head with a stick every minute. impulse. But the facts tell me that the more impatient the parents are, the more timid the children will be, and the less likely they will be able to learn, or even become tired of learning. Fortunately, under the guidance of the teacher, I quickly adjusted myself. First, I controlled my temper and stopped losing my temper. I consolidated what I learned through self-made games, took him to participate in some Halloween and KFC activities, paid attention to the language environment around me where he could learn, and talked and laughed during the day. Smiling, relaxed, it looks like playing, but in fact, I am also happy to learn. The more interested I am, I am now slowly leading the way. Interest is the best teacher. When you lead your child on the road, when she is older, you can let her learn independently. Regardless of your level of knowledge, explore the mysteries of the world with her, learn from it things that are meaningful to the child\’s life, and make progress together. This is the meaning of success in accompanying children. There is a heart-warming short film \”Bean Sprouts\” from Thailand, which tells the story of a mother and her daughter in a simple and ordinary family. A mother who was illiterate, faced with her daughter\’s problems, used her patience, encouragement, companionship and attempts to explore experiments with her daughter and finally successfully cultivated bean sprouts. In the face of failure, my mother was always calm and said, \”Let\’s try again.\” Her face always showed a child-like smile and the determination to never give up. This kind of loving companionship has undoubtedly taught my daughter lessons that will last a lifetime. At the same time, another significance of accompanying children is to enhance the parent-child relationship. Mother and child spend a comfortable time together every day, noThere is verbal violence and no emotional suppression. The child is in a happy mood and will have a kind of trust and admiration for his mother. Maybe you are the powerful character in the eyes of the child that \”my mother knows everything\”. Every mother who stays with you may want to be a gentle and useful mother in the eyes of her children, away from the title of the most \”roaring\” mother in history. What conditions are needed to help achieve this? First of all, the mother herself must practice and work hard to improve her self-awareness. When a mother adjusts her mentality and does not yell at her children for their occasional slowness when doing homework, and does not feel overjoyed or sad because of the quality of a report card, this is respect and trust for the children, and also reflects the inner feelings of the children. The source of love and confidence. Eventually you will find that these are insignificant in the education of your child\’s life. People who have a big picture in mind are never limited to the small gains and losses in front of them. A mother with a foresight will naturally not often \”roar\” while accompanying her children. In addition, father\’s participation is crucial, because the best education has always been a matter for the entire family. School colleague Xiaobai has long insisted on the habit of reading with his son after dinner. He said that the father and son often argue because of their different opinions. The son encounters many homework assignments that he does not understand, such as mathematics and geography. He doesn’t like to ask questions, and his mother prefers to ask him. To solve the problem, he thought his mother spoke too verbosely, but his father understood it immediately. And Xiaobai\’s wife almost doesn\’t have to accompany her to study every night. She can occasionally go out for a walk and chat with friends. How can she lose her temper? How can she end up in a situation like the one at Dongdong\’s house? My son\’s overall quality is very good and his grades have always been good. Li Ka-shing once said: No matter how successful a person is in his career, it cannot make up for the failure to educate his children. However, many fathers around us leave all the schooling to their mothers while they are busy with work and career. Some even send red envelopes directly to their mothers, just like hiring a tutor for their children. As a result, my father felt safe and content, and felt that he was working hard to make money for the family. However, my mother was very anxious. Sometimes in some tutoring fields, my father is indeed more suitable than my mother and has a natural advantage. Children need to be accompanied by their parents, and the best period of education for children is not long. I hope every father will not miss it. Some people say that losing temper is the culprit of women’s aging. We also hope that every mother will always be young and beautiful. Starting from accompanying her to school, we refuse to “roar”!