Is it a trivial matter for a child’s toys to be robbed? Improper handling has serious consequences

A few days ago, I met Sister Zhen and her daughter Duoduo in the community. Sister Zhen had just picked up Duoduo from kindergarten. Duoduo is in kindergarten this year, lively and cheerful, and her little mouth is very sweet every time she sees me. But today, Duoduo kept twitching, and her aggrieved look made people feel distressed. I touched her head and asked, \”Why are Duoduo crying?\” Duoduo raised her face, and as soon as she opened her eyes wide, tears rolled down her face. She burst into tears and said vaguely: \”Auntie, my whistle…was stolen by someone else…\” As soon as she uttered these words, she was so sad that she couldn\’t control herself and couldn\’t go on. Sister Zhen on the side took over the child\’s words and explained. After school, the teacher rewarded Duoduo with a pink whistle. Duoduo was very happy and hung it directly around her neck. As soon as Sister Zhen walked out of the kindergarten with Duoduo in hand, she met her old neighbor A Fang and her son. Afang\’s son was the same age as Duoduo. When he saw Duoduo\’s whistle, his eyes lit up and he shouted: \”Mom, I want a whistle.\” Duoduo subconsciously grabbed the whistle hanging around her neck, but Afang\’s son did not give up. , crying and not leaving, thinking about whistling. So, Sister Zhen took off Duoduo\’s whistle and handed it to the little boy: \”If you don\’t cry, I\’ll give you the whistle, okay?\” The little boy took the whistle and immediately burst into laughter. Now, it was Duoduo who cried loudly, crying and shouting: \”That\’s my whistle.\” A Fang\’s face suddenly felt a little embarrassed. Sister Zhen quickly picked up Duoduo and said goodbye in a hurry. Along the way, Duoduo couldn\’t stop crying. After Sister Zhen finished speaking, she nodded Duoduo\’s little head: \”This girl is really stingy and doesn\’t know how to share at all.\” Duoduo retorted dissatisfiedly: \”But that\’s mine, I like pink the most.\” cried again. Sister Zhen was a little impatient: \”Okay, okay, don\’t cry. Mom said, I will buy you an exact same one tomorrow.\” Duoduo didn\’t appreciate it at all: \”That was a reward from our teacher.\” Duoduo didn\’t appreciate it at all. Sister Zhen was very dissatisfied with her reluctance. She scolded her sternly: \”If you cry again, I don\’t want you anymore. It\’s just a whistle. How long do you want to make trouble?\” The two slowly walked away, and they cried. It still reaches my ears from time to time. Sometimes, a child\’s crying and grievances are not unreasonable. Emotionally, adults and children view problems differently. Adults think that something that costs a few yuan or even dozens of yuan is not worth making a fuss about. Children do not use money to measure whether something is worth it. They think that toys have emotional imprints on them, such as rewards, or their favorite color, etc. From a psychological point of view, children slowly enter the sensitive period of property rights awareness starting from the age of two, and begin to divide the ownership rights of objects. Is this toy yours or mine, or is it shared by everyone? Children will go through a process of cognitive development from vagueness to clarity. Moreover, \”giving up\” and \”sharing\” themselves are two different concepts. It’s not that the children don’t know how to share, but that the adults have not established the proper sense of boundaries and have violated the children’s sense of property rights. The establishment of a sense of property rights is very important for children. It is an important stage in the development of children\’s sense of security. During this period, parents must have a clear sense of boundaries and reasonably guide their children to learn to share, rather than using parental authority to violently force children to give up \”rights of use\” or \”property rights\”\”. Parents\’ blurred sense of boundaries will harm the child\’s inner order and make this order blurred in the child\’s mind. In the child\’s initial inner world, there is a clear distinction between black and white, only right and wrong. When others try to take away their toys, etc. In an incident, parents are the most authoritative and powerful judges in their children\’s hearts. In this case, if parents, as onlookers, join others in destroying their own inner order, this will greatly harm the children. Even those of us who are \”sensible\” Adults always act as \”accomplices\” and require them to make concessions. At certain stages of children\’s growth, these \”concessions\” are incomprehensible wrong behaviors in the eyes of children. When children\’s property rights are infringed, parents stand Being the opposite of a child is a very dangerous thing. Once children realize that adults can\’t help them with this matter, they will take their own ways to solve it. And most of these own ways lack propriety. Recently, my colleague Sister Liu has been having a headache because of her child. Sister Liu’s son Xiaoxuan is just ten years old this year. Half a month ago, Sister Liu received a call from Teacher Xiaoxuan asking her to come to school. The teacher told Sister Liu, Xiaoxuan blackmailed lower-grade students. Sister Liu suddenly felt dizzy. Blackmailing lower-grade students? Xiaoxuan was just a third-grade elementary school student. Sister Liu and her lover were both senior intellectuals, gentle and elegant, but Unexpectedly, her son turned out to be a bully on campus. When Xiaoxuan came back from school in the evening, Sister Liu couldn\’t control her anger and beat Xiaoxuan hard. As she beat, she yelled: \”I raised you to be so strong. Is it just so you can bully other kids? \”Xiao Xuan said nothing and gritted his teeth not to cry. After venting his anger, Sister Liu asked Xiao Xuan, why did he do this? The family usually gave him a lot of pocket money. Xiao Xuan stared back and asked, \”No. Is it a matter of a few dollars? Those little kids only had a few dollars of pocket money. Sister Liu was furious and yelled: \”You haven\’t realized your mistake yet?\” Who told you how much it costs? Xiaoxuan clenched his little fist and said, \”When I was in second grade, a classmate snatched the exercise book I just bought. What you told me is just a few dollars, and I can just buy a new one tomorrow. \”Sister Liu was stunned for a moment. She vaguely remembered that one night, Xiaoxuan came home after school and said gloomily that someone had snatched his homework book. At that time, she was cooking in the kitchen and she just treated him casually. It turned out that, The reason why Xiaoxuan blackmailed other children was because he chose to resist being bullied in his own way, and then began to enjoy the fun of bullying others. Now, when Sister Liu recalls this incident, she regrets it very much. Her light words actually harmed Xiaoxuan. Xuan. If time could be reversed, Sister Liu would definitely stand by her son’s side and safeguard his right and wrong. There is only one growth, and nothing is trivial in a child’s eyes. Rousseau once said: “Everything from the hands of the Creator is good, and everything that comes from the hands of the Creator is good. In human hands, everything becomes bad. \”Children are the perfect creations of the Creator, and many times, adults are the culprits who destroy their growth. Adults will never know how their own \”harmony\” can hurt and destroy a child. Children who are consciously hurt, in the futureAs you grow up, you often go to extremes, either becoming a good guy who never says \”no\” to anything, or like Xiaoxuan, you use violence to fight violence, trying to dominate \”violence\”. Both of these methods are undesirable. As parents, don\’t be afraid of \”protecting one\’s shortcomings\” and don\’t feel that \”you can\’t afford to shame that person\” just because it\’s a trivial matter. Instead, you should firmly protect the buds of all your children\’s consciousness. Because someone else robbed \”his things\”, this matter is really crucial to the child. Parents cannot think about events for their children, nor can they blindly make decisions for their children. They must have a strong sense of boundaries and help their children establish an excellent sense of proportion. When faced with similar incidents, parents can start from the following points to help their children grow up healthily. First of all, parents must have empathy. Parents can give a sad child a sincere hug and tell him that they understand his mood at the moment, rather than interrupting him rudely and simply stopping him from continuing to be sad. The child\’s emotions are soothed for the first time, and he will feel that he is valued by adults, instead of switching to another bad emotion. Secondly, firmly safeguard the children’s property rights. If parents are present, they should help their children get back what belongs to them in a reasonable and well-founded manner. At the same time, children must be taught how to bravely say \”no\” to children who are grabbing things when their parents are not present, and how to correctly safeguard their own rights and interests. Parents can reverse roles with their children to help them learn to resolve similar incidents in a polite and measured manner. Again, we must put an end to violent behavior. It is right to safeguard one\’s own interests, but parents must prevent their children from resorting to violence to solve problems from the source. For children, violence is the quickest and laziest way they can think of. Once children taste the \”sweetness\” of violence, they will resort to it more and more. Finally, stay away from parents and families who are confused. If children\’s ideas can be corrected, then \”bear parents\” are \”incurable\”. Parents who are confused do not start from right and wrong in everything, but \”protect the calf\” arrogantly. When dealing with this kind of family, children will not only be harmed, but also confused. The growth of a child is a long process. Only when parents fully understand what their children are saying and thinking and provide correct guidance can their children avoid detours. Edison once said: \”Education is to the soul what sculpture is to marble.\” Therefore, if someone robs a child\’s \”favorite toy\”, parents must have a pair of listening ears, a tireless heart and a brain full of wisdom. , patiently giving the child a piece of sunshine and green grass.