Is it harmful for a baby to be picky about food? He should be congratulated! This is the first time that he has made his own decision.

My child Edamame started to be picky when he was almost 1 year old. It turned out that when the complementary food was pureed, he would eat anything. But when he was allowed to choose his own food, he became picky. He eats pumpkins but refuses to eat sweet potatoes; he eats green vegetables but refuses to eat carrots. I was very anxious, but grandma was very worried. She simply reached out with a spoon to feed her, but of course she was rejected again and again: the edamame was forcefully pushed out with the tip of her tongue, refusing to favor anything she didn\’t want. \”Oh, what can I do about this kid who is a picky eater!\” That month, Maodou\’s Israeli colleague came to Beijing for a business trip. When I invited the couple to dinner, I complained unintentionally. Unexpectedly, this pair of Israeli parents said: \”The child is a picky eater, congratulations!\” I thought to myself: \”How can I congratulate people so much!\” The Israeli mother said: \”It is important to develop your own food preferences. This is part of self-development.\” She paused and said something that inspired me: \”This is why we let children eat by themselves. This is part of letting children be themselves and know themselves! \”They said to me: \”Before, when you fed him complementary food puree, even if he didn\’t like to eat it, he couldn\’t express his opinions, let alone choose the puree. But now is a good time for him to develop himself. This little boy For the first time, people have the right to vote through picky eating!\” This was the first time I looked at picky eating from this perspective: \”Yes, if a child is fed all the time and cannot choose for himself, how will he know what he likes to eat?\” The Israeli mother grinned happily, \”Yes. My child said \”NO!\” for the first time when he was 2 years old! \”We are all very happy. He is no longer the little baby who is manipulated by his parents.\” When I was an intern in the psychological counseling room of my alma mater, I heard about such a case. A very well-behaved girl felt very unhappy after getting married and didn\’t know what the problem was, so she came to a psychiatrist for help. The psychiatrist asked her, \”What\’s your favorite thing about your husband?\” She thought for a while and said, \”They\’re all okay, I don\’t know.\” The psychiatrist asked, \”What do you dislike most about him?\” She shook her head and said, \”I haven\’t thought about it. I just want to live in harmony.\” The psychiatrist was helpless and said, \”Then how did you decide to marry him?\” She said, \”My mother said he was good. He said he is a down-to-earth person, doesn\’t do tricks, and can live a good life.\” The psychological counselor asked: \”So, does your mother decide when you choose a major in college, find a job, choose a partner, and when you should have children?\” She said. He raised his harmless face and said, \”Absolutely.\” Later in class, when the psychological counselor shared this case with us, he said: \”There is a small detail worth pondering: She was not even picky about food when she was a child. . Her mother said that boiled eggs are the healthiest, and it is wrong to like to eat fried eggs and sweet and sour eggs. The visitor said: \”I have always eaten whatever eggs are available. Who is so brave and dares to tell the elders that they don\’t like eating them? And\” No one has ever asked me? I always have someone to help me decide my life.\’\” Educator Montessori once told a story: There was a little girl who was usually taken care of by a nanny. When the nanny was taking her, as soon as she turned on the faucet, the nanny said, \”No.You have to move, but don\’t move, you will get your clothes wet. \”Repeated every time. The nanny was afraid of trouble, because the clothes had to be washed when they were wet. Later, the little girl went to her grandmother\’s house to play. There was a garden at her grandmother\’s house. There was a water nozzle in the middle of the garden. The little girl wanted to move very much. This nozzle, but she stopped, and grandma said: \”Move!\” Why don\’t you move it? The little girl said: \”The nanny won\’t let me move.\” \”But her grandmother said: \”She\’s not here! Grandma asked you to move! \”She said, \”No, I can\’t move. \”When the nanny is not there, the nanny is still controlling the child. The child cannot listen to her own voice at all. She is not her own master. When a person cannot be himself, conflicts and struggles will occur. Pain arises. What will happen to a child who loses his free will? She may suppress herself for a long time, and there will be very serious obstacles to personality development and ability development. If a child loses his free will, he will easily lose the ability to grasp the essence of things. Throughout his life They are all looking for self-esteem and proving themselves. Two days ago, my former colleague just flew back from the United States. Maodou Dad and I just wanted to ask for advice about immigrating to the United States, so we agreed to get together. She said: The first time I came to the United States was One thing gave her a big blow. That was when she sent her 4-year-old daughter to kindergarten. In Seattle, where the weather was uncertain, she put a thick coat on the child and asked the teacher to take it off when the child was hot. . However, when the kindergarten was over, it was the hottest time of the afternoon at three or four o\’clock. When she went to pick up her daughter, she was shocked to find that her daughter was still wearing a thick coat and was drawing on the table with a flushed face! She was stunned for a while and finally I couldn\’t help but complain to the kindergarten teacher: \”It\’s so hot in the afternoon, you should help the child take off her coat, look at her face is flushed with heat! \”\”oh? Is she hot? The kindergarten teacher opened her eyes wide and said, \”I don\’t know, she didn\’t tell me.\” Because it\’s cold? Still hot? Only she knows. \”The teacher\’s words were like a sap on the head of her head. The teacher looked at her face and said firmly every word: \”If a child can\’t even feel the cold or heat of his body, he has lost his independence because of the long-term suppression of adults. What a sad thing it would be if they had no ability to feel. How can we expect them to think independently when they grow up? \”A few days ago, it was warm and cold in the north. Maodou, grandma and I were walking on the road. Grandma said: \”Maodou, hurry up and zip up and wear a hat, it\’s cold! Maodou said: \”I\’m not cold!\” Grandma said: \”I am cold as an adult, how can you not be cold as a child?\” Pull it up! Maodou said: \”I\’m just not cold!\” His face was red with anger, he was jumping on the spot, shouting: \”Not cold, not cold, just not cold!\” \”What makes Maodou angry is that his feelings are denied by others, and his right to choose is deprived of his rights! This kind of depression of not being respected is more uncomfortable than being cold! When Maodou was almost 3 years old, he liked to pick out clothes. , Grandma said angrily: \”You are so pretty at such a young age, how can a boy be so pretty? \”I said: \”You don\’t understand, this is him exercising his right to choose. You think it’s not good-looking or decent for him to go out, but he just needs to choose fromStart by choosing your own clothes, choose your own career when you grow up, and even choose your own spouse. This is his life, and if you just can’t stand it anymore, what right do you have to blame him? \”Free will\” is not \”absolute will\”. Free children will not become naughty children. I know what you will ask: What should I do if my children are picky eaters and lack nutrition? I also asked Israeli parents this question that day, and they said: \”It\’s very Simple. Change the ingredients for the child every day, and the child can choose whatever she wants to eat among these ingredients. Instead of me serving the carrot, you have to finish the carrot. \”Giving children the right to choose does not mean letting them do whatever they want. It\’s like we can freely choose a romantic partner, but we can\’t fall in love with a married woman or be a mistress. It\’s like we allow our children to freely choose their clothes, but they can\’t wear pajamas on the street. . A child\’s \”free will\” is not \”absolute will\”. As long as you understand this, no matter how many choices you give your children, they will never become naughty children! Parents should appreciate and experience the process of a life\’s growth, but have no right to control it. Life. But the education of Chinese parents tends to tend to \”control their children.\” We use picky eaters as an excuse, but refuse to let children respect their own tastes. We think that \”children choose their own clothes is stinky\” as an excuse, and we also humiliate their independent choices. . We use the excuse that \”children are not mature enough to choose their own marriage partners\” to interfere in their children\’s love affairs, so that children have no way of discovering who their loved ones are. However, children\’s free will is more important than choosing whether to be picky about food or what kind of clothes to wear. , who you fall in love with is more important. When he shouted the first \”No\” in a childish voice in terrible 2: You should congratulate him for finally making the first choice in his life!