Is it love or harm to hide your true feelings from your children?

Children are often encouraged to talk about their feelings. \”When you encounter a problem, don\’t be impatient and just talk it over.\” \”Say it and I\’ll listen.\” But sometimes children just don\’t talk. As a result, the parents became anxious and angry and decided to handle the matter in their own way. In fact, they may really not know what to say. Young children cannot express their feelings skillfully and accurately in words. And what about us as parents? Can you tell your children your true feelings? Many parents don\’t talk about it. One is to rely on tolerance. You must endure it, even if you suffer internal injuries. Another way is to breathe fire, and all the feelings turn into anger. Either the child will be scolded or he will take action directly. Then I regretted why I didn\’t say it properly and why I lost my temper again. If you don’t talk about it, the problem will not go away automatically. Sometimes it gets serious. I once saw a case in a book: One weekend afternoon, after my mother was busy with housework all day, she was finally able to sit on a comfortable sofa, drink a cup of coffee, and read the book she had always wanted to read. At this time, the children came over noisily. \”Mom, dad originally promised to take us to the park to play, but now he says he is too busy. Mom, please take us there.\” Although mom didn\’t want to move, seeing the expectant looks in the children\’s eyes, such a request was not too much. . So I agreed. But she was very annoyed in her heart, and she was very irritable on the road: \”Hurry up!\” \”I don\’t want to play, I just want to sit for a while.\” But the children insisted on pulling her to play together. At this time, she was completely irritated and said, \”Go away, let me be quiet for a while, and go home in 30 minutes. Don\’t ask me to come next time.\” When she said this, she felt extremely regretful. I originally wanted to take the children out to play, but why am I still so grumpy? In fact, this kind of situation often happens to ourselves. I feel this way myself. For example, if I miss my lunch break one day due to something. I\’ll be cranky throughout the afternoon. If my son messes with me, I will get angry easily. Therefore, in addition to trying to keep a regular schedule, you also need to say hello to your son in advance: \”Dad didn\’t get a good rest today and is a little angry, but don\’t ignite the fire.\” Everyone has his own temper and his own problems. As parents, we are just ordinary people, not saints. Your emotions can be seen by your children and become a method of parent-child communication. I think that in order for children to learn to manage their emotions, they must first understand emotions. Children use their own \”antennas\” to capture their parents\’ emotional signals every day. For example, sometimes when something bothers me and I frown or sigh, my son will run over and ask, \”Dad, what\’s wrong? What\’s wrong with you?\” \”It\’s okay.\” \”Then why don\’t you Happy?\” \”Yes! Oh! Dad encountered something at work and felt a little troublesome. He is in a bad mood. Just wait until I solve it.\” He will know that Dad is in a bad mood just like me. But that doesn’t mean you lose your temper when you’re in a bad mood. I think it’s important for children to see their parents’ emotions. Some people will say, don’t bring your emotions to your children. I think it\’s about trying to avoid over-exaggerated emotions or out-of-control emotions. sense of normalcyFeeling, joy, anger, sorrow, and joy may not be impossible to express. If you still have to fake a smile in front of your children, or always try to show how happy you are. Not only does it make you tired, but it also prevents the children from seeing their real parents, and at the same time they lose the opportunity to understand emotions. When I feel angry about my child\’s behavior, I often act angry. Of course, I will try my best to tell myself not to lose control. For example, when my son procrastinates while eating and drops the food on the floor. I would say to him, \”Dad is angry about your behavior. Maybe I will use the discipline stick to talk to you. In fact, I don\’t want this either. I hope you can pay attention.\” Let the children feel our emotions, It is to allow children to better manage their emotions. Remember to try to prevent your children from seeing your out-of-control side. But let him see how you repair relationships and manage emotions. Please don’t hide your true self from your children. We can let our children see sincere parents and see an ordinary parent. This can bring you closer to your children. For example, when my son encountered difficulties in studying, he said that he didn’t want to study anymore. I would say, \”Actually, when Dad encountered a problem before, he didn\’t want to learn. He was afraid that if he did something wrong, I would be lazy, but in the end I solved the problem.\” We need to see the child\’s feelings and acknowledge this. kind of emotion. When children are understood, they often become more willing to follow their parents\’ advice. Moreover, children really like to hear their parents share their stories. My son would often ask me: \”Dad, were you afraid of sleeping alone in a room when you were a child?\” \”Did your grandma spank you when you were a child?\” \”Did you fight with others when you were a child?\”…I always ask I will talk to him about my feelings. Show a real little me in front of him. I also included the message I wanted to convey to him in the story I shared. The little ones listen very carefully and they need a role model. And a real role model, not a hero from a book or TV. Try telling your child how you really feel. When your children feel respected by you, you will be surprised at how aware and considerate they are. I remember one time I caught a cold. My whole body felt groggy, but my son still clamored for me to play fighting games with him. I told him, \”Dad is really feeling bad and needs to rest. How about you wait for me to sleep for a while and call me when the short hand of the clock points to 4?\” He actually played a game by himself that day. Hour. When the time was up, he woke me up and asked if I could play. After I have rested, of course my mood and physical strength are much better, and I will certainly become much calmer when spending time with my children. When you encounter a problem, if the child can understand, then let the child know. Because children will always pry in their own way. And this process is very dangerous. Because they might get some wrong information. For example, parents quarrel and even talk about getting a divorce. If a child hears his mother say, \”If it weren\’t for the children, I would have divorced you long ago.\” The child will think that he is the cause of his mother\’s misfortune. Feeling guilty. This will cause huge harm to the child\’s psychology. Some parents also like to tell their children: \”You are still young, so you don\’t have to worry about some things.It\’s good for you. \”However, children know that they are a member of the family and are eager to get real information. They need parents who are honest with them. Only in this way can they have a real sense of security. As parents, our problems are still there, even We can see more clearly through the mirror of our children. And what we have to do is never deceive ourselves or turn a blind eye. As our children grow up, we ourselves are also growing, and it can even be said to be a rebirth. Along the way, we need to be truly grounded For yourself, grow up with your children.