Is it necessary to continue a wrong marriage to the end for the sake of the children?

Yesterday, a reader told me as if he was hopeless: He was going to remarry his ex-husband, and his life would probably be over. I was taken aback and quickly asked: If this is the case, why are you still remarrying? She said she divorced a year ago and has two children with her ex-husband. Her daughter is with her and her son is with her ex-husband. The reason for the divorce was that her ex-husband cheated on her and was unrepentant. We argued, made trouble, cried, fell, and finally divorced. But this year, I have not been having a good time. I rent a house with my daughter. Her income is not high. After deducting various expenses every month, she has very little left. When I usually eat in the workplace restaurant, any meal that costs more than five yuan will have to be considered for half a day. When times are hard, she is in a bad mood and inevitably has a grimace. The child is very sensitive, and the mother is unhappy, so the daughter is even cautious about what she says. When the mother is in a good mood, she will boldly say: \”Mom, I miss my father and brother so much!\” In fact, she doesn\’t miss her son either. A happy time for a family of four. At this time, her ex-husband came to her and told her that it was not easy for him as a grown man to live with his son. The son cried all day long and came to his mother. He wanted to ask her to remarry and promise not to make any mistakes again in the future and to love her and the children well. In fact, she had no feelings for her ex-husband at all, but having her two children like this made her particularly uncomfortable. She said that she was fine with some hardships, but she was just worried that her children would not have a good life. After much consideration, she decided to remarry for the sake of her children, but she felt very uncomfortable and wanted to find someone to talk to. I was silent. It didn\’t seem wrong for her to do this, but it still felt awkward. Yes, no child wants his parents to divorce, but if two people who no longer love each other are together and quarrel every day, even if they don\’t divorce, is it really good for the child? When I was in junior high school, I had a classmate who had a very close relationship with me. Her father was a teacher in our school. At that time, the school allocated a room to each teacher, which served as a dormitory and office. One day at noon, my classmate said that her father was not at work that day and asked me to go to her father\’s place to eat with her. She brought braised pork and just heated it up. I went happily. After we finished eating in her father\’s office, she seemed to be looking for something. She opened a drawer and saw a drawer full of letters. She flipped through it and was a little surprised to see that so many letters were written by the same person to her father! She asked me if she could open it and take a look. We both felt that it was not good to peek at other people\’s letters, but we were also very curious about who wrote so many letters. In the end, curiosity triumphed over reason, and we opened the top letter and read it together. After only reading a few words, I blushed with embarrassment. The letter was written by a female classmate of her father\’s. The content was very hot and not suitable for children. My classmate stared at me and was speechless for a long time. We accidentally discovered her father\’s extramarital affair. She discussed with me: Do you think I should tell my mother about this? If she knew, would she divorce my father? I quickly shook my head: No, what will you do if you get divorced? How can you go to school if no one wants you? At that noon, we used our limited wisdom in life to reach a consensus: Just pretend that we don\’t know about this, let her father continue to pretend, and let her mother continue to be kept in the dark, as long as we have a complete family. PitifulMy classmate spent the entire junior high school in fear, always afraid that his parents would divorce. She often secretly tells me about her parents\’ situation. Yesterday they had another quarrel. Dad proposed divorce and mother disagreed, and so on. Fortunately, after so many years, her parents, now nearly seventy years old, were sitting together in rocking chairs until they were too old to have an affair or get divorced. My classmate told me that her parents had been quarreling all her life. Every time she returned to that home after school, she was very careful about what she said, for fear that if she said the wrong thing, it would become the trigger for a quarrel between her parents. Until now, there are overlapping shadows in her heart. She never dared to speak loudly or laugh loudly, and she felt insecure. Yes, the best family in the world is when dad loves mom. In a family full of love, children can be cheerful and positive. In my background, I often receive many complaints from readers that there is no affection between husband and wife. Most of them are indifferent and have to continue to live together in pain because of their children. Many times, I think they are great, but when I think about this issue deeply, I actually find that those who always use their children to argue against divorce are mostly because they are divorced and find it difficult to live a good life, let alone Said it made the child happy. So, I just made do with it on the grounds of my children. As for women who live a good life, their children will probably not be affected at all after their divorce. Actress Alyssa Chia, she and her ex-husband Sun Zhihao also had a bitter quarrel and eventually divorced. Later, they each met a suitable partner and remarried, and they lived happily. Their daughter Wutongmei not only does not lack the love of her parents, but has two fathers and two mothers, and each of them loves her. My best friend Q is a very good university teacher. Her ex-husband taught at the same school as her. When their marriage came to an end, they broke up peacefully. The child follows Q on weekdays and goes to her father\’s place on weekends, which is not much different from before. In the circle of friends, I often see Q posting photos of himself and his daughter, both of whom have sunny faces. Sometimes I worry about her: You are raising children and working alone. Do you regret the divorce? She said that divorce is not terrible for the child, as long as she does not lack love. The premise is that you have to live well so that your children will not wander. Yes, some people, in an emotionless marriage, do not have the power to walk away or change. They argue so much every day that they leave countless shadows on the children\’s minds. Some people cut off their wrists like a strong man, cutting off the past like a gecko cutting off its tail, so that life can grow a new green again. Stop saying that for the sake of your children, you have to carry on with the wrong marriage to the end. In fact, the most important thing you should do is to live a good life. No matter whether you are divorced or not, you have the ability to give your children happiness.