Is the child too young to be sensible? If you don\’t teach him, he will never understand!

In the past few days, an article about a mother accusing her child of being bullied at school has gone viral on the Internet. It said that her fourth-grade son was thrown into the toilet trash basket by his classmates, and urine and poop paper were sprinkled all over him. The child was forced to use cold water in the middle of winter. I washed my hair for a long time and then became severely depressed. The teacher characterized the matter as \”an exaggerated joke\”, while the other parent claimed that his child was \”just a little naughty\”, \”children are young and have no boundaries\”, and \”throw it away without knowing whether the basket is dirty or not.\” Whether this incident is \”school bullying\” or an \”excessive joke\” remains to be discussed, but the attitude of the parents of the troubled children is really worrying. \”Children are young and ignorant\”, this argument is so familiar. A month ago, there was a similar incident in Xinjiang: A second-grade girl in Urumqi was stuffed a piece of rat poison into her mouth by a male classmate during recess activities. After being sent to the hospital, she was diagnosed with acute rat poison poisoning and needed emergency gastric lavage. Just out of danger. The other parent\’s attitude turned out to be \”My son is still young and doesn\’t know rat poison is poisonous.\” As netizens say, behind every naughty child, there is a naughty parent. In the eyes of some parents, whatever bad things their children have done can be wiped out with the talisman of \”the child is young and ignorant.\” However, if you are ignorant, why don\’t you put the garbage basket on your head? Don\’t put rat poison in your mouth? To take a step back, even if children don’t understand the harm of their actions, should adults be sensible? Should we have a basic sense of right and wrong about things? Should you convey this to your children? A child is born knowing nothing. If adults don’t teach him, he will never understand. I know that many adults’ secret thoughts are that as long as my child is not bullied, it doesn’t matter whether he bullies others or not. Anyway, we don’t suffer. Even when we bully others, it proves that we are strong and that we have the ability to survive in this jungle society. If you are bullied, it shows that you are weak, you are timid, you do not adapt to society, and you deserve to be punished. This kind of bear-like adult encourages the bad temper of the naughty child – it\’s fun to bully others, and you won\’t be blamed or punished, so why not do it? But is it really a good thing that your child likes to bully others? Let’s look at a set of data: Juvenile perpetrators have a very high proportion of crime and alcoholism as adults. Among criminals, 60% of males with perpetrator traits committed crimes before the age of 24, while only 23% of males without perpetrator traits committed crimes. A child who likes to violate others means that he is cold, violent, selfish, impulsive, hostile to the world, and lacks awareness of the consequences of his actions. If these characteristics are not corrected, there will be three consequences: First, it will cause great harm to society. Well, some parents may not care. So, look down. Second, he himself will be punished. Parents may think it\’s okay if he scolds others, kicks others, or slams a garbage basket on his classmates, but if they are not corrected in time, worse things are likely to happen in the future, including fights, robbery, poisoning, and murder… Most crimes have precursors. If you don\’t put out the fire when it appears, it will burn into a huge fire in the future, and you won\’t be able to put it out even if you want to. And when it is society and the law\’s turn to punish him, the price will be unpredictable. There is a word called \”victimized perpetrator\” – a person who is used to inflicting harm onPeople who do this are most likely to end up being victims. Third, as the parent of your child, you are likely to be the first victim in the future. Because when his thinking and behavior patterns are formed, he will treat you the same way he treats others, and you are the person closest to him, so his behavior will have the greatest impact on you. When he bullies others, you think it\’s someone else\’s business. When he treats you in the same way, you feel aggrieved, helpless and angry, who will help you? Therefore, your child may not be sensible when he is young, but you have the responsibility to teach him to be sensible, not only for society and others, but also for yourself. In fact, it is not just school bullying incidents, but also many things in life. Parents have the responsibility to guide their children correctly. I remember one time my sister served a full-moon banquet and a lot of people gathered at home. Her colleague also went with his four or five-year-old son. The boy might have been particularly excited when there were so many people and kept yelling. My sister reminded him that the baby was sleeping, so be quiet. He didn\’t listen, but screamed louder, rummaged around the room, opened drawers one after another, and threw things on the floor. When his mother saw him, not only did she not stop him, she even laughed and said, \”Children are just ignorant.\” I\’m so surprised: Children are ignorant, but adults understand. After using \”children are ignorant\” as an excuse, shouldn\’t they stop the child and tell him not to do this? Shouldn\’t you say \”sorry\” to others? If a child is ignorant, should we just let him continue to be ignorant? I don’t think a child raised by such a mother will become a popular person when he grows up. At that time, not only would he feel uncomfortable, but he would also not have an easy time as a mother. Then there is probably a pattern of mutual resentment between mother and child: \”You blame me for being ignorant\” and \”I blame you for not teaching me.\” My son has a friend who often comes to play at home and changes into slippers every time he comes in. One day I washed my son\’s slippers, but he couldn\’t find them when he came, so he stood at the door and asked me, \”Auntie, where are the slippers?\” I was busy cooking and told him, \”No need to change, just wear your shoes and come in.\” .\” Then I came out after cooking and saw him running around the room wearing my husband\’s big slippers, kicking and mopping the floor. It looked funny. I said you don\’t need to change, just wear your shoes. He said no. Mom said you have to change into slippers when visiting other people\’s homes. This child has always been sensible. Not only does he speak politely, he never digs through things when he comes to the house. He has to ask for permission from his son for any toys he wants to play with. My son and I both like him very much. Does he understand these principles naturally? Did he earn this favor from others through deliberate efforts? Of course not, this is what his mother taught him. Just like a naughty child has a naughty parent behind it, behind a polite and sensible child there must be an informed and sensible parent. Maybe you will say that every child has different characteristics. My child is naturally disobedient and unruly. I admit that there are indeed children who are difficult to discipline, but the more \”naturally ill-behaved\” they are, the more education and guidance they need to be given? Being a parent is not just about keeping your child fed and clothed, but the more important obligation is to teach him to become a qualified person. It is inevitable for children to do bad things, and it is often excusable. But when your child causes harm to others, you use \”the child is young and ignorant\” to deliberately cover up and shirk responsibility., then it is a big mistake and unforgivable. In fact, every time a child \”gets into trouble\” should be an opportunity for parents to reflect on the loopholes in their education and make them aware of their heavy responsibilities. We should not just teach our children how not to be bullied, but we should also tell them not to bully others. Otherwise, when he becomes a hateful person, not only will society suffer, but you and he will also pay an unimaginable price.