Is the eldest child more likely to be the winner in life than the second child? Does birth order really determine a child\’s personality?

In the blink of an eye, the pregnancy has entered the last three months, and the time of pregnancy for the second child has passed so fast. Recently, I have been taking the time to study how to maintain a balanced development of the two babies after the second child is born. Before I was pregnant with my second child, I often heard sayings such as \”the second child is smarter than the eldest child\” and \”the eldest child is more confident and stable than the second child\”. As a mother of two who loves academics, I really wanted to know whether these conclusions had any scientific basis. I couldn\’t help but dig deeper, and found out that scientists had actually been studying this topic more than 100 years ago. Traditionalists: Birth order determines a child\’s personality. Birth order affects personality. This view was first proposed by the Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler at the beginning of the last century. Because many presidents and leaders in history were the eldest sons, there is also a traditional belief in society that \”the eldest son is more capable of leadership.\” Celebrities who are the only son/eldest son/eldest daughter at home: Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush, Churchill Celebrities who are the second/third eldest child at home: Bill Gates, Martin Luther King, Princess Diana Professor of the Department of Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley Sulloway is also particularly interested in this topic. He spent more than 20 years recruiting thousands of scientists to conduct psychological experiments and found that birth order affects the Big Five Personality Traits: extroversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. Sex, openness, emotional stability. Sulloway also published a book summarizing the personality traits of the oldest, second and third oldest children. For example: The eldest child: obedient, traditional, and agrees with his parents’ values. The eldest child: ambitious, responsible, and can coordinate. The second or third child: has strong social skills, can cooperate, and is easy to get along with. The second child or third child: advocates freedom and hopes to change the status quo. Research: There are differences in the personalities of the eldest and the second child, but don’t let birth order take the blame. However, the conclusion that “birth order determines life” has begun to be questioned by more and more scientists. In the past two years, German psychologists have studied more than 20,000 families and found that there is no inevitable connection between birth order and the child\’s personality. It is just that the IQ of the eldest child is usually higher than that of the second and third children. This is probably because the parents can give the eldest child more education. More attention (especially before the birth of the second child) and parental companionship are of great help to the child\’s intellectual level. This research result was later published in the very authoritative Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) in the United States, and was recognized by many psychological experts. Also two years ago, Brent Roberts, a serious psychology professor at the University of Illinois in the United States, and his postdoctoral fellow Rodica Damian collected a larger amount of data (surveyed 370,000 students) and found that a child\’s personality has little to do with birth order, and There is not much difference in IQ either. How many children each family has, how many years apart they are, and how many material and non-material resources parents can provide each child. There is an intricate connection between these factors and the child\’s growth. The child\’s character and destiny should not only be determined by birth. The order can be determined. What is really worth paying attention to is that the research conclusions on this topic may change over time, but at the same time, scientists in all periods agree that it affects children’s intelligence and sexuality.The key to personality is the allocation of parents\’ energy and resources. German scientists believe that eldest sons have the highest IQs because their parents can spend more time with them in high quality. However, in China\’s old society, sons were valued over daughters. The education level of eldest daughters is far less than that of younger brothers, and their life achievements are also likely to be lower than those of younger brothers. The growth of the eldest child and the second child should be complementary, but after the birth of the second child, it is inevitable that the parents\’ energy and time will be diluted. As a mother of two children who is about to unload her baby, I will continue to pay attention to how to consciously allocate time and energy, grasp the scale of extensive and detailed care, and help the two babies develop in a balanced way. In future articles, I will share more practical experience with you. I believe that no matter whether the eldest or the second child, what really affects a child\’s character and destiny is the parenting style and high-quality companionship.