Is the fable about the stupid bird flying first really useful for children?

Cai Zhonghuai joked: \”If you search for \’Cai Zhonghuai\’ on Baidu, you will definitely see a keyword: bad temper. I want to tell you, I am not bad-tempered, but have a very bad temper!\” But when it comes to children, Cai Zhonghuai is surprisingly good. Every child likes him for his gentleness; when facing the children\’s parents, he sometimes takes a more drastic approach and gives them a slap in the face. Because only in this way can parents realize how painful and embarrassing it is to be criticized and scolded; parents can have some empathy and be able to think from their perspective when educating their children, and give them more encouragement and less encouragement. criticize. There is a little joke circulating on the Internet: the child was scolded by his mother because he did not study well. The child who was scolded said: \”Mom, there are three kinds of stupid birds in the world.\” The mother asked curiously: \”What three kinds of stupid birds are they?\” The child replied: \”The first kind of stupid bird flies first, and the second kind of stupid bird flies first.\” The seeds are those that don’t want to fly when they are tired.” The mother asked: “What about the third kind of stupid bird?” The child replied: “It’s the ones like you who don’t fly by themselves, but lay an egg in the nest, and then look forward to the next generation to fly! \”Many parents are the third type of idiot. Because they have some regrets, they place their hopes on their children and force them to realize them, making their children miserable. Cai Zhonghuai received a family. The child\’s father and mother both wanted to be doctors, but were not admitted to medical school. This has become an unfinished business in the hearts of father and mother. They strongly look forward to their children being admitted to medical school and becoming doctors. In order to achieve this goal, the couple acted in a very consistent manner and arranged shifts of 1, 3, 5 and 2, 46 to take turns taking care of the children. When school is over, parents wait at the school gate on time to \”escort\” their children home; after dinner, they quickly sit at the desk and read with their children; they do not allow children to have holidays… They also use various methods to test their children\’s IQ and intelligence. learning level. This child actually likes music, but was forced to study science every day. He couldn\’t relieve the pain in his heart, and gradually developed obsessive-compulsive disorder. Whenever his parents criticized him or checked his homework, he would be so nervous that he would wash his hands constantly. The most frightening thing is that he also has symptoms of obsessive thinking. He keeps repeating the words \”You must study hard and take the medical exam\” in his mind every day. His brain was unable to think about anything else, and even his daily life was greatly affected. Once, he picked up a fruit knife to cut fruit, but his mind was occupied by obsessive thinking again, so he cut his hand with the knife. The father and mother were worried that the child might be prone to self-harm, so they took the child to Cai Zhonghuai for consultation. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring documentaries. The child is addicted to self-discipline after watching the pattern. When chatting with the child\’s father and mother, Cai Zhonghuai said: \”Excuse me, when you were in high school, where did you rank in the exam?\” said the mother. : \”A dozen or so.\” Dad said: \”Probably more than twenty.\” Cai Zhonghuai said: \”Your child is now fifth in the exam. After the two of you add up the average, he still loses to your child! What if? From a genetic point of view, your child has exceeded your genes. When it reaches the limit, what else do you want?\” The child\’s father and mother laughed. They suddenly realized that they couldn\’t do it back then.What an unreasonable expectation to force a child to do and require him to do what he wants. \”He is the meat that has fallen off your body. Don\’t you feel bad when you see him become like this? At this stage, what the child needs most is health and happiness.\” Through Cai Zhonghuai\’s consultation, the father and mother finally put their expectations for the child into perspective. He adjusted from \”being a doctor\” to \”being healthy and happy\”; and the change of parents made the child no longer nervous and depressed, and the obsessive-compulsive disorder was cured. The stupid bird flies first? Early education makes children\’s childhood unhappy. In order to realize their own expectations, many parents choose to let their children fly first and send their children to early education. When Cai Zhonghuai was in elementary school, it was the best era for Taiwan\’s economy. The vast majority of parents send their children to early education classes to learn musical instruments such as piano, violin, saxophone, or English. Cai Zhonghuai disapproved of early education: \”Germany only has a population of 88 million. Why are half of the Nobel Prizes in the world won by Germans? The reason is very simple. They do not advocate early education. They believe that children\’s brains cannot be developed until their brains have reached a certain level. Giving education is the best way to educate. If the child is interested, I have no objection to the child attending interest classes. But what I see is that parents send their children to interest classes not for interest, but to gain a This skill is based on practical considerations. Therefore, children who are interested in painting cannot attend art classes because they have no future as painters; children who like Taekwondo cannot attend Taekwondo classes because Taekwondo is not useful for further studies.\” There are also some. Parents send their children to early childhood education because they hope to develop their children\’s right brain. Cai Zhonghuai once brought professional testing equipment to an early childhood education institution known for developing the right brain. After testing, it was found that there was no significant difference between the right brains of children who received early childhood education and those who did not. Cai Zhonghuai said that it is actually very simple to develop the right brain, as long as the two hands often do different things. For example, two arms circle in opposite directions at the same time, with the left arm going in and the right arm going out. Cai Zhonghuai said that early education has deprived many children of happiness in their childhood. There was a father who sent his child to various early childhood education classes, leaving the child with no time to play. After being suppressed for a long time and unable to vent his negative emotions, he developed violent tendencies and often bullied his classmates at school. During the consultation, Cai Zhonghuai said bluntly to the child\’s father: \”Can you play with your son for a day on the weekend?\” The child\’s father replied rudely: \”I am busy. If I don\’t work, how will I have the money to support my child?\” If you don\’t work, how will you get the money to pay for your consulting fees?\” Cai Zhonghuai patiently guided him and said, \”If you think back, what was the best memory you had with your father when you were a child?\” The other party thought for a while and said, \”Our family I raise a chicken in the courtyard, and my father and I often feed the chickens together. I also often sit in my father’s arms and watch TV. It feels very beautiful…\” Cai Zhonghuai asked: \”Then do you have anything for your child? What a beautiful feeling?\” The child\’s father thought for a while and said, \”No.\” He suddenly realized that he had never accompanied his son well, and his son was far less happy than he was in his childhood. Later, the father no longer forced his son to attend early education classes. He also adjustsIn addition to my own working time, I take my children to play in the countryside every weekend, letting them run all over the mountains and fields. The child became very happy, became closer to his father, and his violent tendencies gradually disappeared. And if parents are keen on early education, it will also affect school education and may even cause harm to some children – what should I do if I don’t have money for early education? He can only choose to give up on himself. Cai Zhonghuai once had such an experience. The music teacher of the primary school believes that children are sent to early education by their parents before going to school. If they can even play the piano, they will definitely be able to read music notation. During the first music class, the teacher sat in front of the piano and asked: \”Is there anyone in the class who can\’t read music notation? Raise your hand.\” Including Cai Zhonghuai, only three children raised their hands. The teacher said: \”Then you three, ask your classmates after class.\” Then, she didn\’t teach the most basic knowledge of music class-staff. Today, Cai Zhonghuai, who is in his 40s, sings very well, but he can\’t read music notation. Because for him, the staff is a very painful memory, and he feels that he has been abandoned by the teacher. Cai Zhonghuai said that schools should conduct classes step by step in accordance with regulations; and parents should allow their children to play and accompany their children to play. Both parents and schools have the responsibility to let their children have a happy childhood.