Is your child too lazy? Because you keep urging me

Many parents \”battle\” with their children every day. \”Hurry up, why do you take so long to get dressed? Hurry up and brush your teeth, why does it take so long to squeeze out toothpaste? Hurry up and go out, why do you take so long to put on your shoes? Hurry up and eat, why does it take so long to chew a mouthful of food? Hurry up and go to bed, why do you close your eyes? Is it so difficult to close your eyes? Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up… I find myself urging my children recently. After thinking calmly, I found that the reason is me: I am too anxious and always rushing. Because often when there are too many things, I became anxious. After everything was arranged, I watched him slowly fill the cup with water, and then slowly squeeze out the toothpaste. I was no longer anxious, but could watch the child in slow motion. Around us There are too many urging voices, because we want our children to be like us, but can they be the same? After all, they are children, with small hands and small bodies. Many things are done much slower. But anxious parents hope The child can do what he wants. Instead, he keeps putting his own anxiety into the child\’s heart. Do you think the child is procrastinating? In fact, don\’t blame the child, because the more anxious you are, the slower the world will be! It means that your patience and ability are not enough. Remember one On Saturday, I took my children to play outside and came home tired. After that, the two of them fell asleep from about three o\’clock in the afternoon until about five o\’clock in the afternoon. It suddenly occurred to me that they had not bought the food for dinner, so they quickly woke up their son. Get dressed and go downstairs. The most important thing is that I still have no money in my pocket and I have to go to the bank to withdraw money, so I rush to the bank again. I am also in a hurry at the vegetable market. I am usually used to queuing to weigh the scale, so I start to I was impatient. The fish seller was afraid that the customers would leave, so he kept selecting fish for the new customers. The weighed fish were placed there. Because I was so familiar with the boss, I couldn’t bear to rush him, but I had already begun to say silently in my heart, \” Hurry up, hurry up…\” The vegetable seller charged me 10 yuan and asked why he had received another 10 yuan piece. Then he calmly took out a small bag with several layers from under the shelf. Slowly He took out a few pieces of money and looked for me. Seeing that, I almost said, stop looking for it and give me the food. But he hasn\’t bagged it yet. Why is he so slow? It\’s too slow! I thought I don’t know why the world is so slow this afternoon! When I went back, I felt funny. I never thought they were so slow! They were still doing their own things at their own speed. The whole world was normal. In fact, I felt that the world was slow. The reason is that we are too impatient. Why are children slow? Sometimes it is not that the child drags on purpose, but that the child really does not know how to do it. He cannot finish it by himself, or it is because he dare not do it, the child is afraid to do it or is afraid of things. The result. For example, if the door of our house is not locked, it will open by itself. I, a big guy, often make this mistake, and a few times my child discovered it. He said to me, \”Dad, the door is open.\” \”You \”Hurry up and close it.\” More than 10 seconds passed. \”Dad, the door is open, hurry up.\” \”Go and close it. Hurry up. Dad thinks you can do it.\” \”30 seconds passed.\” Dad, go quickly! \”Already crying. \”Why don\’t you go? Go quickly! \”In the end, I locked him up. Later I asked him why he didn\’t go, and he said, \”Because I\’m afraid!\” \”He is afraid of doorsThere\’s a bad guy, the Big Bad Wolf, behind him, so he\’s not delaying on purpose, but because he doesn\’t dare to do it. Therefore, before blaming their children for dilly-dallying, parents should first reflect on themselves: Are they too impatient? Do the expectations given to the child exceed the child\’s actual ability? Have you been influenced by \”other people\’s\” children? Many times, when we hear about “other people’s children” posted in our circle of friends, as well as some legendary magical children, we unknowingly expect our children to be like this, so it is easier for parents to make demands on their children. Too high. Do you understand the real reason why your child procrastinates? Many times, a child procrastinates because he is afraid, or he uses this method to express his rejection. In a family with strict parents\’ requirements, a child cannot directly resist some of his parents\’ instructions, but what should he do if he really doesn\’t want to do it? Then procrastinate! Do it slowly, maybe you can\’t be a good parent so don\’t do it yourself. The procrastination behavior itself is the child using actions to tell you what he feels: he is not willing to do it. At this time, parents have to find ways. Simply scolding is definitely not a good idea. On how to help children get rid of the habit of deliberately procrastinating, there is a case worth learning from: \”One morning, the mother watched her child get dressed and stretch on the bed. He was in a daze endlessly while eating, and took his time after spilling water. It takes ten minutes to clean the table and throw out paper towels. After finishing these things, it is already very late, and I am destined to be late. In the past, my mother would keep urging when encountering this situation. This time, my mother took a small challenge. As soon as I pushed myself, I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t push. Although my mother did nothing, she was anxious, restless, and angry. She wanted to push but tried to hold back. This process was quite uncomfortable. Incredibly, the final feeling was Extremely calm. My mother was thinking: \”If you are late, you will be late. There is nothing to be afraid of. I have already done what I should do. The teacher will criticize him but not me.\” \”On the way to school, the child was obviously anxious and whispered: \”Oh, I\’m going to be late. \”Then she made a fuss and called the teacher to ask for leave. The next day, my mother was even more relaxed. She didn\’t say anything and waited silently. When it was time for school, her mother went downstairs with the keys. The child hurriedly brought the things and trotted out. On the way to school, the child was very worried about being late. When there was a traffic jam, he simply got out of the car and walked forward. The mother said that on this day, there was no inner struggle like the day before, and he was calm from beginning to end. The mother said with emotion that although in the parenting book, She had seen the saying \”Parents don\’t worry, the children will be responsible\” countless times, but it was amazing to experience this process in real life, especially the initiative shown by the children. She couldn\’t believe it. Children The big reason why people dawdle is their parents. Behind every dilly-dallying child, there is a parent who keeps urging and nagging. To untie the bell, you must tie the bell. Parents must change first. First, you must be able to control yourself. Emotions, being a calm parent is only when you calm down and when you no longer express your opinion on the matter, \”being late\” becomes the most important thing in the child\’s mind at this time, and he willBe anxious by yourself, learn to bear it by yourself, and learn to be responsible by yourself. Sometimes we don’t have to be so anxious and angry about our children. For some things, we let our children bear the consequences and face life head-on. Children must learn to grow, and we must learn to let go. Be a calm mother and don\’t drag yourself into the quagmire of fighting with your children. Help children establish a sense of time. Because children often have no specific concept of time. You tell him 10 minutes, but he doesn’t know how long it is. I don’t even know how precious time is. So you tell your child that it takes 2 minutes to brush teeth and 10 minutes to finish eating. Even if the child agreed, he still wouldn\’t understand. You might as well buy your child a timer, such as an hourglass. Teach children about clocks, set an alarm, etc. When the child completes the task within the specified time, encourage him or her. Of course, trust and communication can really help you solve the problem of procrastination. If it is beyond the child\’s ability or acceptance range, parents should be flexible, lower expectations or reset goals, and give the child what is suitable, not what the parents think is right. On the basis of mutual trust, scolding attitudes will disappear. And will find a way. Please put aside your anxiety and keep your mouth shut. Control yourself, be patient, and don\’t always blame the child.