Is your child very introverted? Congratulations, he will have a great future

One weekend not long ago, I took Xiaonuo to play in the community. She was recently obsessed with scooters, spinning around and around in the open space. I sat next to her and watched her. After a while, Grandma Chenchen came with Chenchen. Chenchen was a little over three years old and was fairly familiar with us. Grandma Chenchen led him over and said, \”Call Auntie!\” Chenchen didn\’t call and hid behind her grandma a little shyly. I was afraid that the child would be embarrassed, so I wanted to leave it alone, but Grandma Chenchen wanted to pull the child out from behind: \”Why don\’t you say hello?\” I quickly said: \”Maybe we are not familiar with each other. Chenchen will go and talk to you.\” Let’s play together, little sister?” Grandma Chenchen said, “We meet often, why are we not familiar with each other? This child is like this, very timid, rude, and won’t take the initiative to play with children. He will go to kindergarten next semester. , I really don’t know what to do then…\” As grandma spoke, Chenchen lowered her head even more. In order to stop grandma from continuing, I had to stand up and call Xiao Nuo loudly: \”Come skate over here, there is sun over there, and you will get sunburned soon.\” I asked Chenchen: \”Do you want to ride a scooter? \”The child nodded slightly. Xiaonuo was sliding towards me and said she was thirsty and wanted some water. I asked her if I could give Chenchen the scooter to play with for a while. Xiaonuo saw that she was a kid I knew, so she agreed. After drinking the water, the two of them went to play together, one on the pulley and the other on the run, having a great time. Grandma Chenchen and I were sitting and chatting. She was still talking about Chenchen’s various shortcomings, such as not taking the initiative to say hello when meeting people. I couldn\’t help but interrupt her and said that most children don\’t take the initiative to say hello when they meet people, and our little Nuo is also like this. In the end, I couldn\’t help but tell the old man: \”Let\’s not call the child timid in front of him, otherwise the child will become more and more timid.\” A reader consulted me and said that his daughter was almost 5 years old and was studying in middle school. He is introverted and rarely greets people on his own initiative. Even if he does, his voice is very low. When picking her up from school a few days ago, the teacher also said: The child is timid and rarely raises his hand to answer questions. He is also very nervous when called, and he can\’t express well the questions he clearly understands. She asked me what I should do and how to get rid of her daughter\’s \”bad habit\” of introversion. When I saw the words \”bad habit\”, I really wanted to curse. How could introversion become a \”bad habit\”? Why does it have to be changed? In order to avoid being too emotional, I dealt with chores for a while before turning around to chat with the mother. When I asked: \”When you picked up your child from school, did the teacher tell you about your child\’s condition in front of the child?\” She told me yes. Again I wanted to curse. A child who is originally introverted is defined face to face by the most authoritative person (teacher) as: \”cowardly\”, \”doesn\’t like to raise his hands\”, \”poor expression\”, etc. How can the child tear off these labels? ? Psychologist Jung divided people into two types: introversion and extroversion. He believed that a person\’s instinctive power tends to the external environment, which is an extrovert. On the contrary, a person\’s instinctive power tends to oneself, which is an introversion. people. Extroverted people value the external world, are social-loving, active, cheerful, confident, enterprising, and have an open mind about the world around them.They are interested in everything around them and easily adapt to changes in the environment. Introverts value the subjective world, are contemplative, introspective, and often immersed in self-appreciation and intoxication. They are withdrawn, lack self-confidence, shy, indifferent, reticent, and have difficulty adapting to changes in the environment. In real life, most people have both extroversion and introversion. Jung also believed that there are no pure introverts or extroverts. Only on certain occasions, due to the influence of the situation, a certain state is dominant. Introversion and extroversion are innate and difficult to change. There is no superiority or inferiority between the two, and there is no need to change. However, based on our life experience, most people think that extroversion is better than introversion: in the class, extroverted students can be recognized by classmates and teachers quickly and get more attention. At work, extroverts are better at handling interpersonal relationships and are more likely to be appreciated by their leaders. At a time when attention has become a scarce resource and the pace of life is getting faster and faster, people have generally become noisy and impetuous. Therefore, \”children who cry will get milk\” has become everyone\’s consensus. People no longer have the patience to slowly discover your beauty and goodness. Everyone is in a hurry. Everyone can\’t wait to show off all their truth, goodness and beauty when they meet for the first time. Therefore, parents of introverted children cannot help but worry, \”What will happen if my child is so introverted? Will he have no friends? Will he be particularly disadvantaged…\” In fact, introverted children have many things that extroverted children do not have. advantage. They are quiet and focused, sensitive, and can detect details that extroverts cannot detect. They like to think, so they often understand problems more deeply. Nuo Xi’s mother, I am a typical extrovert, and I think I have many personality problems, such as lack of self-discipline, lack of perseverance, carelessness, insensitivity, and indelicacy. A very good college classmate of mine is an introvert. I envy her for being quiet, gentle, and reserved. She likes reading, can calm down and think, and has her own opinions on many issues. Maybe she doesn\’t stand out in the crowd and won\’t leave a deep impression on people the first time they meet. But getting along with people doesn\’t just happen for a day or two. Except for job interviews, first impressions are not that important most of the time. After spending time with her classmates, her beauty and kindness gradually became apparent. It was a pleasure chatting with her. She always listens more than she talks. Her quiet and focused look makes you want to talk and express your inner feelings without being interrupted or being taken away from you. And she often has her own opinions on issues, and her words are meaningful and to the point. On the contrary, I am not a good chat partner, because in the process of listening to the other party, I often have many opinions to express, and I have to work hard not to interrupt the other party. In group chats, I am an outgoing person who thinks more divergently and often inadvertently \”goes wrong\”. Ordinary people may find my gags interesting, but the organizers must hate people like me, right? My classmates are also good at writing, and the articles they write are very delicate and rich in emotion, often directly touching people\’s hearts and easily arousing resonance. Unlike what I wrote, it looks like I am studying science, one, two, three, fourPut it out, and then, it’s gone. Of course, I\’m not saying that introverts are better than extroverts. These are just two different temperaments, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. Mothers are always worried that \”children who can\’t cry will have no milk to eat\”. It is true that in some situations where winning or losing is determined by one side, extroverts are better at expressing themselves than introverts and are therefore more likely to succeed. However, life is a long process, not a short interview. Even when applying for a job, examiners will have different screening criteria for applicants based on the position. Extroversion is not necessarily good. I myself have been rejected by employers because of \”too strong a personality.\” It can only be said that extroverts and introverts are suitable for different jobs. When it comes to studying, even if an introvert is not noticed by teachers and classmates, he is not sad because he enjoys silence and solitude. Unconfident Introverts are not confident enough. In addition to some natural factors, the reason why introverts are not confident comes from the prejudice of their parents, family and teachers against their personalities during the entire growing process, or in other words, their parents\’ disapproval of them. If family members and teachers label children as \”timid\” or \”introverted\” in front of their children, the children will hint to themselves: I am timid, I am introverted, I am wrong, and I am not good enough. Okay, I need to correct it… If parents hope that their children will become cheerful, outgoing, enthusiastic, and generous… Even if these wishes are not expressed, the sensitive introverted child can feel it from the parents\’ envy of the extroverted child, and he will feel it because of it. I blame myself for not living up to my parents’ expectations. How can children still be confident if things continue like this? Finally, introverted children can be guided appropriately to make them more outgoing, cheerful, optimistic, and confident, which are all good, but remember not to label the child or try to completely change him. Maybe, he is not suitable for sales or diplomacy, so let him quietly become a writer, an artist, a doctor or a scientist.