It hurts my heart! Why is my baby very well-behaved when being taken care of by others, but crying and clingy when I take care of it?

Why is my baby well-behaved when being taken care of by others, eats well, sleeps when asked to sleep, and plays by himself, but he cries very much when I\’m with him, and he\’s always unhappy when I\’m with him all the time, and he clings to his body and refuses to come off? This question is asked by a mother almost every few days. This phenomenon occurs from babies of two to three months to children of two or three years old, especially when the mother takes care of half of the children and the elderly or nannies take the other half. For children, or children who have already entered kindergarten, this contrast is even more serious. My Maotou is about to enter elementary school, and it is still the same. He is a good boy in school, but he does all kinds of things when he comes home. Mothers, especially working mothers, will feel guilty and troubled by this. They feel that they have tried their best to accompany their children, that they have been gentle and patient, and that they have tried hard to follow the rules. Why do their children behave so badly? Is it too bad to take care of a baby by yourself? But as a father or a grandmother, my skills in raising children are not that good. How could I become a bad person who makes my children unhappy? ? To answer this matter, we need to think carefully about this question – what should the baby\’s normal state be like? Should the \”very well-behaved, neither crying nor fussing\” state be the normal state, or should \”having all kinds of emotions like joy, anger, sorrow, and joy\” be the normal state? Children are human beings too, and they have emotions, anger, sorrow, and joy. How can they be happy all the time? In fact, a child who has always been \”very well-behaved and never cries or makes a fuss\” is not a real child. Adults still have tempers and emotions, let alone a child who is sensitive and has weak self-control ability? An overly well-behaved baby just feels that the environment at this time is not the safest. If he acts mischievously, he is not sure of the surrounding environment and how the adults around him will treat him, and he is unprepared for something terrible happening. So when you feel unhappy, you tend to suppress your emotions to avoid getting into trouble. You can\’t bear the consequences, and you just look good. Although you look calm, your emotions will accumulate in your heart. When the baby determines that the surrounding environment is absolutely safe, the person taking care of me loves me unconditionally. No matter what emotions and behaviors I show, whether I am excited or sad, irritable or clingy, she will not hurt me. Or abandon me. Therefore, when the baby feels secure enough, it will be easier for him to \”let himself go\”, to cry, to laugh, to have fun, to act a little, to vent all the unhappiness accumulated in his heart. For a moment, I can get some benefits and verify again that you love me so unconditionally. Isn\’t that normal? Especially after spending a day in kindergarten or school and enduring all kinds of pressure, the baby is so tired. When he goes home to see his nearest and dearest people, he would be sorry for himself if he doesn\’t make a fuss! Mommies, if you think about how you treated your boyfriend when you were angry at work or something bad happened when you were in love, you will know how your baby is feeling now. A child who is always obedient and never cries or makes trouble is actually quite pitiful. He dare not express his demands, dare not vent his sadness, and endures any grievances. Who would like to live this kind of life? So in fact, if your baby is more \”acting\” towards you, being very obedient when being taken care of by others is actually a compliment to you. This proves that you are different to the baby. You are the person who makes him feel most secure and makes him the most attached, so he will show this kind of \” Discrimination\”. This is not because you did a bad job, but because you did a good job. Of course, this experience is not that happy for Mom. After a tiring day, she has to deal with a baby who is twice as difficult as usual when she comes home. It is indeed very frustrating, but if you know, this actually means Your baby\’s attachment to you will at least make you feel a lot better. Of course, everything must be done in moderation. It’s OK to do it once, but it’s not OK to do it too much. Don’t have no bottom line with your baby just because of guilt. We should have a good attitude and speak gently. It’s okay, but if your baby If your son hits, bites, throws things, and causes destruction, if this kind of behavior appears that you cannot accept, you should still take care of it. In addition, after knowing this matter, Mommies should not be too glassy and feel that they are being wronged if their baby is well-behaved in the hands of others. In fact, it is a good thing that babies often have such experiences. When the mother is not around, the baby can have better self-control, be braver, and calmer. He can learn to observe the environment, learn to control his emotions, and learn to make himself more comfortable. Be patient, learn to use language instead of crying to communicate with others, etc… If his mother is around, he will not need to develop these abilities, or even have the desire to develop them. Isn\’t there a saying that goes like this: Children grow up where you can\’t see them. Many teachers are unable to tutor their children with homework, and doctors are unable to treat their children. This is the reason. When your baby is by your side, he returns to the harbor of his soul, feels endless love and care, relaxes his whole body, and draws enough strength so that when he leaves you, he can be full of courage and face some difficulties in the world. , and learn to solve them, isn\’t this a perfect thing? Therefore, I also suggest that full-time mothers should not be separated from their babies all the time. This will make you very tired and the baby will not have room to grow. Once in a while, be brave enough to leave your baby to others, and you will find that It’s not like crying and fussing all the time as you imagine. It’s possible that if you eat well and sleep soundly, nothing will happen. In this way, the baby gets to grow, and you also have some personal space. It’s a win-win, isn’t it? To sum up, your baby\’s \”doing\” for you is your medal, moms, don\’t belittle yourselves anymore! When we should coax the baby, we can coax the baby, and when we should leave, we can leave. We are full of pride~~~~~