It is not recommended to tell your children, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t do well in the exam.” Here are 3 words from smart parents

It\’s final exam week and every parent wants their children to do well. Scores seem to have become the only criterion for testing children\’s learning. If you do well in the exam, everyone is happy; if you do not do well in the exam, everyone will be happy. In fact, in a child\’s exam career, it is normal for children to fail in exams. At this time, it is a good time for parents to guide their children to view exams correctly. If the guidance is good, the child will soon cheer up and catch up; if the guidance is not good, the child may give up on himself and be unable to recover. Below I share 3 sentences from smart parents, I hope it will be helpful to you. Emotional guidance: \”You didn\’t do well in the test. Mom and Dad know that you feel uncomfortable. What do you want us to do to help you?\” There is a cartoon on the Internet: When a child scores 60 points in the test, he will lower his head and knock on the door cautiously; 95 When he got a perfect score, he would raise his head and chest and knock on the door hard; when he got a perfect score, he would not only kick the door \”proudly\” with his foot, but also yell loudly… Does this feeling of being dominated by the exam sound like Awesome for us when we were kids? In fact, if the test does not do well, the child himself will suffer the most. At this time, if you scold him excessively, it will not only increase his psychological burden, but also weaken his self-confidence. Compared with this, the light \”It doesn\’t matter if you don\’t do well in the exam\” seems to be a comfort, but in fact it is a response that implies escape. It diverts the child\’s attention, escapes the child\’s frustration, and does not help the child\’s frustrated heart. It is only wise to stand from the child\’s perspective, accept his emotions, and guide him in a gentle and rational way. I have read this story: A child once took an exam. His deskmate ranked first in the class, but he was only 21st. After returning home, he asked his mother if he was dumber than others. Mom didn\’t know how to answer. In another exam, he got 17th, while his deskmate was still first. After returning home, he asked his mother the same question. His mother really wanted to tell him that there are three, six or nine levels of human intelligence, and the people who take the first place in the exam are indeed smarter than the average person. But if you say this, the child may feel that he is a stupid person. So, his mother took him to the beach, pointed to the birds competing for food on the beach and said: \”When the waves come, the little gray finch can always fly up quickly, flap its wings a few times and fly into the sky, while the seagulls But it seems very clumsy, and it takes a long time to fly from the beach to the sky. However, it is the seagulls that can really fly across the sea!\” His mother\’s words inspired him a lot, and he no longer struggled with himself and his family. The results of the students at the same table continue to improve at their own pace. Later, he was admitted to Tsinghua University with first place in the school. Examinations are never just about scores, they are also about children’s mentality and attitude towards setbacks. An unsatisfactory score can allow children to grow from it, which is the biggest gain. As a parent, being able to help your children get out of negative emotions is to give your children the best love. Exam review: \”In this exam, which part do you think you did better and which area is your weakness?\” Student exams can be divided into two categories, one is the selection exam, only the high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination; the others can be called for diagnostic examination. Selection focuses on scores; diagnosis focuses onis the problem. If a child does not do well in the exam, it means that he or she has encountered problems in learning. Instead of obsessing over scores, it’s better to look at how your child’s scores came about. Teacher Huo Huo\’s daughter once scored 67 points on a math test when she was in elementary school. She kept crying when she got home at noon. Teacher Huo Huo did not criticize or accuse, but first patiently calmed her daughter\’s emotions. When her daughter\’s emotions calmed down, she said to her daughter: \”It\’s great that you got 67 points in the exam, because 67 points are much higher than the 33 points you lost. Tell your mother, how did you get 67 points?\” The daughter was a little surprised. , but still very seriously talked about how he answered the questions with a score of 67. Her method of solving the questions was fully affirmed by Teacher Huohua, and she gradually regained her confidence. Afterwards, Teacher Huo Huo asked her to analyze how 33 points were lost. When she said she didn\’t understand what she was doing in class and couldn\’t do it, Teacher Huo Huo guided her to find a remedy. For example, ask the teacher or ask a classmate who has taught you how to do it. When she returned to school that afternoon, she quickly understood all the 33-point questions. In the evening, she proudly said to Teacher Huo Huo: \”Mom, let me tell you, I got this 33 points!\” Have you discovered that no matter how many points a child scores, through review and analysis, the child can also find out the test results. 100 points method. Therefore, even if your child does poorly in exams, don’t rush to deny your child. Through clever encouragement and guidance, children can return to the test paper itself from being obsessed with scores. First of all, affirm what he has done well, such as: good composition writing, good mathematical operations, good attitude in answering questions, etc. Then, accompany him to analyze the reasons for his failure in the exam, whether it was carelessness, weak basic knowledge, or wrong learning methods… List the problems exposed in the exam one by one to help him better \”prescribe the right medicine.\” When all a child\’s problems are solved, the sense of accomplishment he gets is far more important than how many points he scores. And this is also the real meaning of the exam. Goal motivation: \”You can set some small goals and improve your grades step by step. Parents believe that you have the ability to achieve these goals. Let\’s work hard together.\” Why do parents need to help their children set learning goals? One answer goes like this: Because goals can stimulate children\’s inner drive. Without clear learning goals, children\’s learning will become aimless. When children do not do well in exams, setting goals is undoubtedly the best way to improve academic performance. These goals must be formulated based on the actual situation of the child. It can neither be unchallenging nor unattainable. For example, if a child\’s strength is 80 points, you can set a goal of 85 or 90 points; but if the child\’s strength is only 60 points, you cannot set a goal of 100 points, which can easily backfire. In Zhou Ling\’s \”Cognitive Awakening\”, he mentioned this knowledge: expanding your scope of action at the edge of your comfort zone. It means that whether it is an individual or a group, its abilities are distributed in the form of \”comfort zone-stretch zone-difficulty zone\”. Jumping into the difficult zone will frustrate the child, while staying in the comfort zone will make him stagnate. If you want your children to grow up efficiently, you mustChildren must always be on the edge of their comfort zone and expand their abilities little by little. Only in this way can children achieve steady progress and steady improvement. And when a child achieves his learning goals, we should not be stingy with our own encouragement and praise. Even if he doesn\’t meet expectations, as long as he makes some progress, he deserves our recognition, just like this father in Jiangsu. To celebrate his child scoring 7 points on the exam, he pulled a cart of fireworks and set them off in the town. Everyone was puzzled by this. Later, when reporters interviewed, they found out that his children often scored 0 points in exams. When I learned that my child had scored 7 points in the exam, in order to motivate me, I took my child to buy fireworks to celebrate. And it is because of this kind of encouragement that children become very sensible and even actively ask for progress. Now, he has scored 57 points. There is a saying that goes very well: \”Excellent children are motivated!\” Effective motivation is the greatest motivation for children to make progress. Move your eyes away from “scores” and focus on the child’s own growth and progress. Supervise children to implement learning goals conscientiously; encourage children to work hard to overcome difficulties. Accompany him carefully and get through every difficulty in learning. Someone said: \”The world is big, but the exam room is small; the exam is a point, and life is a line.\” No one will win everything because of one exam, and no one will lose the entire life because of one exam. Although we cannot escape the topic of \”scores\”, we must let our children understand that we care more about his feelings and growth than his scores. No matter how many points he scores, he will always be proud of us. Because scores have never been the criterion for measuring his excellence. If he is a talented person, he will be handed over to the country; if his qualifications are mediocre, he will be favored by others. As long as he grows up healthy and happy, that\’s enough!