It would be weird if a child could control his emotions

The day before, I received a message from a mother. Many parents have already mentioned this issue. \”Dad Yu, I also have a son. He is now two years old and almost three months old. He has always been quite obedient, but recently I found that he seems to be less able to control his emotions, especially when he is happy. For example, it is very lively when people come to the house. , or when he meets a child he likes, or is in a particularly good mood, he will get carried away, either throwing things around, or hugging or grabbing other children, or doing some outrageous behaviors. We will also remind him from the side. It doesn\’t work. Pulling him aside to calm down is also the case. He admits his mistake very quickly, but as soon as he lets go, he goes back to the original state. What should I do in a situation like this? How can I teach him not to get carried away? Then express it in an appropriate way. My own liking and happiness?\” I felt like this mother was describing my son. They are exactly the same. I think many parents of boys feel the same way. This happened to me just the night before. Because my nephew had something to do at home, he and his sister temporarily stayed at my house for one night during the weekend. From the moment he got the news, his son became excited. I wish the night would come sooner. My cousin and sister came home and came to sleep at home. Thinking about it makes me excited. So, when my wife was worried about how difficult it was to have a few babies, I said it would be fine, I would take care of this crazy guy. Taking advantage of my son\’s joy, I made an agreement with him to sleep with his father tonight. At that time, his face dropped and he said he wanted to sleep with his brother. I know that actually he just wants to play with his brother. So I said that the prerequisite for you to sleep with your father is that you can go to your brother\’s bed and play for a while before going to bed. At this time he raised his hands in agreement. In the evening, the three children took a bath one after another, and it was almost 9 o\’clock. The three guys were playing a game of tunneling on the bed, which involved humping and jumping under the quilt. While my wife was busy cleaning up, she told them to be quiet and go to bed early. No one listened. I say calm down first and let them go crazy for a while. It is impossible for them to control their emotions at this time, sit quietly, and then fall asleep. After a while, the quilt was brought to the ground, with two little guys wrapped in it. Yelling and yelling there. When I went in, they thought they had gone a little too far. I said I won’t tell your mother, but can you still play for 10 minutes? He agreed and continued playing. After a few minutes I reminded you. When the time finally came, I went to carry him back to his room. By this time, the three children were almost done playing. No one felt bad. If I had followed my wife\’s strict method of stopping her, I would probably have made a few more crying faces. This is the guy in my family who gets carried away while playing and has no idea of ​​his direction. Now that he is over 4 years old, he can make a promise with me. But two years ago, it was the same as what the mother who asked the question said. Many behaviors are unreasonable. Especially in parks or squares. When a few children started playing, they almost went crazy. In fact, as long as you understand your children, many problems will be solved easily, so don’t be anxious. It is really unrealistic to expect a child to be able to control his emotions freely. It can even be said to be a luxury wish. Because a person\’s emotional development is a long-term process and cannot be achieved in a short timeformed within time. A child\’s emotions are closely related to the adults who raised him and the family atmosphere. It is also related to the child\’s own personality traits. Take a boy as an example. When he is 4 years old, the testosterone in his body will suddenly triple. And testosterone is not only a growth hormone, but also affects mood and energy, making boys energetic and playful. Therefore, they will become more active, aggressive, adventurous and bold in their games. Therefore, parents who want to keep a boy away from adventurous and daring games and raise their son as a daughter must reflect on whether they are suppressing their children too much. My kid likes to pick a fight with me after dinner every day. There are so many styles. Create some moves of your own, watch some moves on TV, and then teach some moves from your brother or friends. It also comes with sound effects and commentary. I really can\’t bear it if I don\’t have any strength. So, we have to understand our children first. Children enter their first rebellious period at the age of 2-4, like a scary \”little monster\”. Children will develop self-awareness from the age of two. At this time, they will understand the world in their own way and show their strength. So they always say \”no\”, and their favorite thing is to respond to your instructions by adding the word \”no\” in front of them. For example: \”Go to bed!\” And at this stage, one of the obvious behaviors of children is to \”hit\” people. I remember that at that time, Xiao Xiaoyu often hit his grandma, because he thought grandma was a soft persimmon, and it would be fine anyway. Every time I see it, I will carry out an intervention guide, but it happens again a few days later. Later, I felt that I couldn\’t stop children from doing this, so I had to change the behavior of adults. I want my mother to fight back appropriately and give him a few hard slaps. Let him know that being hit hurts, and that hitting is different from slapping the table. Just like that, it slowly changed. Children have a great need to express themselves. They express their happiness in many ways at first, and they can\’t tell the difference between right and wrong. For example, a child likes to push his friends when he is happy. At this time, he didn\’t know how to express his joy. Parents need to learn to empathize. Affirm his happy feelings first, instead of immediately focusing all your attention on pushing him. Because many times, parents will severely teach their children. Instead, you should tell your children that there are many ways to express happiness, such as singing, jumping by yourself, or telling your parents to share your feelings. And pushing others will hurt your partners and must be corrected. The same is true for my son. For a while, when he was happy, he would hug his friends and kiss them on the face. Everyone is afraid of him. I told him that I can understand your happiness. Because you like that little friend very much and are in a good mood. But you can try shaking hands, or hugging, just give them a tight hug, but don\’t kiss others casually, because it seems very rude. Children\’s emotional world is too complex for us to be strict about everything. But remember one principle: accept your child\’s emotions and guide your child\’s behavior. What parents can do is to accept and guide, understand their children’s emotional development, and allow their children to release their own emotions.mood. Help children learn self-management, help children determine correct behaviors, and correct bad behaviors. The other is one’s own cultivation. If you can\’t control your emotions. Then don\’t expect your children to be self-taught and to control their emotions well. The way our parents behaved and expressed their emotions when we were young all affected the formation of our character and temperament. Hot-tempered parents raise hot-tempered children, and gentle parents raise gentle children. It can be said that what kind of soil produces what kind of flowers. Children who are raised by parents who are emotional and lose their temper often have more emotional problems. Many people can better manage their emotions after they continue to learn and practice as adults. In a certain sense: parents\’ emotional peace is the greatest education for their children. Parents need to maintain a peaceful attitude, let their children slowly know and understand the rules, and have enough time for their children to learn and grow. . Learn to listen, learn to empathize, and understand your children. Try to be a good parent who can control your emotions. We still have a lot of homework to do…but it\’s all worth it, because in the process of raising children, we have completed self-growth again.