It’s good to have two children, but it’s not bad to have only one.

Since the two-child policy was liberalized, many people have advised me: \”While you are young (while you can still have children), have another child as soon as possible, preferably a daughter!\” They also listed the benefits of having a second child, including One is: Erbao will make Dabao better. With the second baby, Dabao can learn to share, know how to be humble, and is no longer lonely… and will not be infected with the \”only child disease\”. I have a sister, so I understand the meaning of brothers and sisters. But Erbao should not be a \”magic bullet\” to prevent or correct Dabao problems. Even if there is no second child, the eldest child, as an only child, can do just as well. For a long time, the public has had the stereotype of only children as \”spoiled, selfish, and lonely.\” At the end of the 19th century, the famous psychologist Hall even believed that \”only children themselves are a pathology.\” However, a large number of sociological studies later did not find that only children are inferior to non-only children in social, psychological, adaptability, emotional control, etc. Female evidence. On the contrary, only children do better in some aspects. For example, they have stronger achievement motivation, and their academic and career achievements are slightly better than those of non-only children. Moreover, our research on only children in the Chinese context has more positive findings. Let me tell you about them one by one. A study of a large sample of 4,000 third- and sixth-graders found little difference between only children and children with siblings. The academic achievements of only children are no worse than the latter, or even slightly better. The random sampling results of first-grade children in Beijing also show that the memory, language and mathematical skills of only children are on average better than those of non-only children. Only children also have obvious psychological advantages, such as more security and fewer emotional problems. A survey of 731 urban children and adolescents found that children who were not only children felt higher levels of fear, anxiety and depression. This is because although only children have no brothers and sisters, they do not lack opportunities to interact with peers, such as in kindergartens, schools, and various interest classes. Parents also have higher expectations for their only children, invest more attention and energy, spend more time with them, and do more for them. Therefore, the so-called \”only child problem\” does not exist. What really causes children\’s psychological and behavioral problems is parents\’ lack of responsibility and wrong parenting methods, not the size of the family and whether there are brothers or sisters. Moreover, having one more child will not only fail to solve some of Dabao\’s problems, but may actually make them more serious. Because parents will lower their expectations (if one fails, the other will have the mentality), have less time together on average, greater financial pressure, etc. The excellence and happiness of a child lies in our conscientiousness and providing him with a warm home and correct upbringing methods, not in quantity. It’s good to have two children, it’s also good to have only one. The correct logic for having a second child should be that you have to raise one child well first, then you can have the conditions to have a second child.