It\’s so irritating for a child to be naughty. Mom should treat her like this!

Have you ever had your plans disrupted by your children’s “dallying”? Classmate Zhe and I had a fight. It was raining that day, so I picked him up from the kindergarten and rushed to English class. After not seeing him for a day, he acted like a baby and asked me to hug him. I held him, who weighed 33 pounds, in one hand and carried a bag and an umbrella in the other. From the kindergarten to the parking lot across the road, although the distance was short, it was difficult to walk. I discussed with him that my mother wouldn’t be able to walk like this, and we might both fall into the mud. Can I put on my raincoat and walk hand in hand with my mother? He just said one word, no! I patiently discussed it over and over again, and finally agreed. I quickly put him down and hurriedly put on his raincoat. The problem comes again, he must button it himself! I held the umbrella and watched his little hands clumsily buttoning the buttons, unable to do so for a long time. Parking is prohibited at the entrance of the kindergarten. His father is waiting for us in the parking lot at the moment. English class will start in 15 minutes, and the fastest drive there is 10 minutes… I tried to explain to him how tight the time is, but he didn\’t even raise his head. , completely ignoring me. I couldn\’t bear it anymore, so I knelt down and quickly buttoned up all the buttons for him, and pulled him quickly towards the parking lot. He immediately cried: \”Why don\’t you let me buckle by myself? You are a bad mother!\” Classmate Zhe was crying until he got in the car. As a result, he was late for English class. He was in a low mood throughout the class and had no interaction with the teacher… This was not the first time that his schedule was delayed due to his stubbornness; the conflict between mother and son was not the most serious. once. I feel very upset every time – the root of the conflict is that the adults have arranged the schedule, but the children stick to their own rhythm. When children disrupt our plans, how can we be calm and respect the children\’s wishes without delaying ourselves? itinerary? On one side are anxious adults and on the other are aggrieved children sending classmate Zhe to kindergarten. On the way, I often see grandparents sending children off. While dragging the children along, they keep scolding: \”If you had just hurry up and get dressed, we wouldn\’t have to do this.\” I\’m anxious!\” \”Hurry up, hurry up, you\’re going to be late soon if you\’re so slow!\” Once, an aunt led a little girl to walk in front of us, and the little girl was crying as she walked. When I met an acquaintance and asked what was going on, the aunt said angrily: \”Her mother left early today and didn\’t bother to comb her hair. She was unhappy about it and wouldn\’t let me comb her hair or let me do it.\” She needs to change her clothes; before going out, she insists on finding the crayons she used for drawing last night. Where can I find them for her? If she doesn’t leave quickly, there will be no breakfast in the kindergarten!” The little girl should be because her mother combs her hair every morning. Your order has been disrupted, so you’re not happy, right? Before going out, I suddenly looked for crayons. Maybe I wanted to take them to the kindergarten, or maybe I wanted to draw something with the crayons. I wonder if grandma ever asked the child why. How many times have we just been on our way, anxious and agitated in the face of sudden demands from our children, feeling that our children are ignorant and just want to cause trouble. We are so eager for our children to be in sync with us that we fail to pay attention to our children\’s thoughts and rhythms. Parents love their children wholeheartedly and their schedules are full of things they want to do with their children. However, when implementing these plans, children are always at a disadvantage and are required to follow the adults\’ footsteps unconditionally. For example, if you take an interest class, it should be for childrenBeing interested and actively participating will get twice the result with half the effort, but in the end it becomes a matter for the children to cooperate with their parents. When your plans encounter changes in your child, try what this mother did. Yesterday I went to the bookstore to check out picture books, and a mother and daughter caught my attention. The little girl was three or four years old. She selected the books she was interested in in front of the bookshelf and asked her mother to help her read them. The mother and daughter read for a long time, and it was almost lunch time. The mother seemed to have other plans. After reading a book, she said to her daughter: \”Let\’s go get something to eat now, okay?\” The daughter said: \”Read another book. \”Okay.\” \”Then let\’s go to lunch after reading this book. Mom has made an appointment with an aunt to discuss something, so we can\’t be late. Do you agree?\” Mom\’s attitude was very serious. \”Okay.\” My daughter answered happily. After reading a book quickly, the mother got up to pack her things, but the daughter picked up another book and said, \”Mom, I want to read another book.\” I especially wanted to see how this mother dealt with her daughter\’s \”procrastination behavior.\” \”. The mother knelt down and looked into her daughter\’s eyes: \”We just agreed that it would be the last book we read here today. You also agreed to it, mom, right?\” The daughter lowered her head: \”But I still want to I want to read another one!\” \”Well, Mom understands what you are thinking. You haven\’t read enough yet and want to read more. But you also know that we have other plans today and we have to have lunch on time to catch up. Do other things.\” The daughter began to pout, as if she was going to cry. At this point, many mothers will exert their authority and take their children away directly. But the mother hugged her daughter, sat down in the corner where she had just been reading, pointed to the thick stack of books next to her and said, \”Reading is very interesting, and my mother likes it too. Look, these are the books we just read. There are so many books.\” Yeah! We two are really amazing! So mom has a plan. If dad has time on weekends, we will bring him with us. Do you think this plan is good?\” The encouraged daughter was attracted by the new plan and burst into tears and smiled: \”Okay! Bring daddy with you!\” \”Yes, let\’s put these books back now. Can they wait for us here?\” The daughter began to sort out the picture books she had read and insisted on returning them to the bookshelf by herself. Until the mother and daughter left the bookstore hand in hand, the mother did not say to her daughter the words we often talk about – \”Hurry up.\” Therefore, when a child’s ideas affect our plans, we can also handle it in this way: explain the business arrangements to the child in advance, understand and recognize the child’s motivation for wanting to do something; affirm the child’s previous performance, and help the child develop a more attractive plan. forceful plan. And the most important point is that this mother has been hinting to her child: What you want to do and what I want to do are both \”our plans\” and need to be completed together. Throughout the process, children are equal participants rather than passive followers. \”Slow-toned babies\” are not all the daughter of former colleague L who was born slow. They are famously known as \”slow-toned babies.\” And it’s not that he moves slowly, but he is busy with his own things as soon as he opens his eyes, such as jumping and playing on the bed, and deliberately making trouble with his parents. If you ask her to put on socks, she will put the socks on her hands and play with herself; if you ask her to put on shoes, she will deliberately put them on backwards, sometimes wearing only one and then running to play with toys. In fact, childrenI have been seizing the time to feel and collect environmental information, and use my brain to complete the exchange and processing of this information. However, she does things that interest her, not things that adults want her to do. She can’t understand why adults have to go to work on time, have a time limit for breakfast, and wash and dress quickly… L has tried many methods to help her daughter plan her schedule. My experiments with classmate Zhe have proven that some methods are indeed effective. Now I have her I would like to share my experience with you – don’t push your children. If children disrupt their plans, adults will often keep pushing them. However, adults\’ urging will in turn disrupt children\’s physiological rhythm. Children can best develop their potential only under the most comfortable rhythm. Children whose rhythm is often disrupted will have character traits of being easily irritable and having poor patience, or may show slow reactions, self-repression, or excessive attitude towards certain things. Dependence, both tendencies can easily make children lose themselves. L’s approach is to not blindly remind her daughter to hurry up after getting up, but to capture her daughter’s points of interest and play games with her to complete dressing, washing, organizing things, etc., such as “Compare who is wearing the clothes.” \”Fast\”, \”Competing to see who can wash faster\”, etc. Try to reserve half an hour before the scheduled time to get up and set off 15 minutes in advance. Leave some room for yourself and some \”dawling\” time for your children. During this period, fully communicate with your children, understand their needs, and guide your children to plan things. L only makes one request for her children every time. L told me that she always remembers that when she was a child, she would come home from school. As soon as she entered the door, her mother would ask if there was a lot of homework and if she had finished it. As soon as she sat down, her mother said again, her hands were so dirty, why didn’t she know? Take a wash? When I went to wash my hands, my mother said again, my clothes were full of dirt, why didn’t I know how to change them? Your house is so messy that no one can get in. Clean it up quickly… L described himself as feeling dizzy and not knowing what to do first. Adults have plans in their minds about what to do first and what to do next, but children do not have this ability and need very specific guidance from their parents. The correct approach is to clearly tell the child what should be done now, and wait until he completes one thing before giving the next instruction. Don’t do everything for your child. Even if your child does it slowly or poorly, try to let him try as many times as possible. Don\’t let your children develop the bad habit of \”It doesn\’t matter if I don\’t do it, my mother will do it for me.\” Let the children bear the consequences of procrastination. My daughter lingered and skipped dinner, while L and her husband swept up the food. When my daughter came over, she found that there was no food and she burst into tears. L hugged his daughter, comforted her, and told her that dinner time had passed and there was nothing to eat, so she should remember to come sooner next time. From then on, whenever the child saw an adult sitting at the dining table, he would run over and climb onto his seat. Establish a work and rest schedule together. What time should you eat, what time should you play games, what time should you read, what time do you go to bed… Write them all down on paper with your children, and then stick them in a conspicuous place. This ritualistic approach will make children feel that it is important to keep time, and it will also become important to complete things on time. In the past few days, I often think that if time could go back to that rainy evening, I would patiently hold my umbrella and watch my classmates button up their raincoats one by one.Help him sometimes. Then take an excited child to an English class that may be a few minutes late. No matter what, it\’s better than being late and feeling dejected all night as a family, right?