Just because you do this, your very confident child gets better and better

A few days ago, a mother left a message saying, \”My child has just entered elementary school and feels that he is not as good as his classmates in everything. He doesn\’t know how to hold scissors when doing handicrafts, he holds a pen in the wrong way when writing, and the teacher said a few words to him about skipping rope in physical education class.\” Cry. The child becomes timid, saying that he just can\’t learn well and has no confidence. If you say a few more words, he will either cry or lose his temper. What should I do?\” This child has been raised by his grandmother. Yes, my mother used to work as a tour guide and led groups on business trips for a long time. Dad works in engineering and doesn\’t have much time to take care of his children. Later, my mother quit her job and went home to have a second child, and now she had no time to take care of him. So when we see these problems arise, we can only worry. I told her, \”You spend too little time on your children, because if you spend time on your children, you will never be able to raise them well.\” It\’s like raising a green plant, we also have to spend time on it. Only by watering it and understanding its habits can it thrive. I remember one time when I went back to my hometown, I forgot to water one of my green plants enough. On the day I came back, the water in the water bottle was bottomed out, and the green plants were shriveled up on the wall of the bottle. I regretted it very much, because due to my negligence, it almost couldn\’t survive. The same goes for raising children, although we don’t let them go hungry or thirsty. However, parental neglect will also dry up their hearts and make them feel inferior, anxious, and rebellious… Without the development of good habits, bad habits will of course take advantage of them. When low self-esteem has entangled a child\’s heart, how can the sunshine of self-confidence shine in? We all want a confident child. But what does a confident child look like? The first is to feel good about yourself. As Li Bai said, \”I am born with talents that will be useful.\” Confident children have a belief: \”I am capable\” and believe that they have the ability to do something well. Parents should help their children establish this belief from an early age. If your child is not familiar with using scissors in handicraft class, you can practice countless times at home. If jumping rope doesn\’t work, then take him to jump repeatedly. Isn’t it possible that these problems cannot be solved through practice? If parents have not helped their children overcome their learning difficulties, they will continue to suffer. That will only damage your child’s confidence in learning. Once his learning confidence is gone. You will find confidence from playing games or having fun with your peers. He will spend a lot of time practicing mobile games, or doing some small damage to win the respect of his peers, gain the sense of identity he wants, and feel better about himself. But the road went astray. Once you develop a habit, you can\’t get it back. During this period, the role of parents is immeasurable. Mastering every new skill certainly takes time. Not just practice time for the kids, but also time with the parents. Last Saturday, I took the little fish to practice roller skating. This semester, their class has a roller skating class. I think it\’s good, it allows him to do more outdoor exercise. Because we have never been exposed to roller skating before. So I read reviews, look for styles, and choose the right equipment for him. Then let him learn to wear the equipment at home first. In the beginning, we practiced every other day. Because I think there are dozens of children in a class, and teachers don’t have so much time to dress them. What\’s more important is that there areEffective training can increase his confidence in learning. He will have a sense of self-mastery. On the first day of class, I arrived at school. Most of the kids came with their equipment. But many trademarks have not been removed. There was even a mother who came directly with a courier box. For children, what they are about to put on and how they wear the sliding equipment are all unfamiliar. This will appear clumsy. If you leave all the education work to the teacher, you will not spend enough time yourself. This will virtually put more pressure on the teacher and cause some frustration for the children. This kind of frustration has little to do with improving children’s ability to resist frustration. On the contrary, those bad experiences will damage the child\’s confidence. Xiao Xiaoyu, who was fully prepared, confidently put on his own equipment that day and practiced very well. And we agreed to practice every Saturday. When I was practicing with him that day. I saw a mother jumping rope there with her two daughters. It must be that my eldest daughter is in elementary school and needs to practice skipping rope. My mother taught me carefully over and over again. The little sister who is three or four years old is standing aside, watching her sister learn to skip rope. After a while, I watched the little brother here learn to roller skate. I think that girl will definitely learn to skip rope. More importantly, she will be grateful to her mother for her patience in dancing with her countless times in the future. As parents, you should spend more time like this with your children. Of course, being with our children does not mean interfering and monitoring them all the time. There are many parents who keep an eye on their children all the time. When I see a child acting slowly or making mistakes, I immediately intervene and point fingers at the child. Such interference is not \”guidance.\” It will only cause trouble for the child. Because your negative comments at this time are full of dissatisfaction and accusations. It will only make children feel \”frustrated\”, doubt themselves, and feel that they \”really can\’t do it.\” Karl, a well-known American growth psychologist, said: \”The enemies of confidence are frustration and fear.\” So, when you see your child trying to complete difficult tasks, or when they make mistakes in learning or operation. What parents have to do is encourage and support them. Instead of always being prepared to intervene and blame the child. Parents should not replace and take care of things, but guide and train them effectively. When your child is playing with building blocks, you feel that his house is not stacked well and does not turn into a castle as shown in the instructions, so you \”kindly\” help him complete the game. You might think this would help your child learn how to build a castle. But you forget that doing so will hurt your child\’s confidence. I remember when Xiao Xiaoyu was two or three years old, I wanted to teach him how to do some difficult scenes, but he would immediately refuse. And pushed me away. Said he would do it himself. I will choose to respect him, because when he said \”I will do it myself\”, he was full of confidence. He believed he could do it. And they will further strengthen this self-awareness and self-affirmation after solving difficulties personally. But many old people don’t do this. They forcefully do everything for their children. He seems to love his children and solve all their problems. But in fact it brings the greatest trouble to the growth of children. Their abilities cannot be developed because children are deprived of the opportunity to solve problems. Don’t think that feeding your children and putting them on clothes and shoes can also make them happy.Gain experience and develop confidence. That will only make him feel like \”I can\’t do it\” and \”I need adults, and I can\’t do it without them.\” Such children are familiar with the thoughts and actions of all adults at home, can easily achieve their goals, and appear confident. But when I got outside, I ran into walls everywhere and became disgraced. Because of the rules of the outside world, no one is designed to cooperate with him, and difficulties will not be automatically cleared before meeting him. Please \”waste\” your time on your children. Some mothers said that every time they want to play with their children, they feel particularly bad because their children take half an hour to do something that can be done in one minute, and they still enjoy it. I felt like my time was wasted like this, and I couldn\’t help but feel nervous. However, close interactive parent-child time will make children feel more cared for and more confident. I have always felt that being a parent is a very interesting thing. Because we are raising a child who is constantly growing and changing. So, this means that we ourselves must continue to grow. You need to upgrade yourself and be prepared for every stage. If we cannot change our childhood experiences, we can change the way we love our children through learning. Let our children feel the greatest freedom among rules and love.