Kimura Takuya’s attitude towards his daughter: Why is unconditional support said to be the easiest and most difficult to achieve?

Recently, Japanese actor Takuya Kimura accepted an exclusive interview with a TV station for the first time, discussing his views on his second daughter Kimura Mitsuki (Kōki)\’s debut in the entertainment industry. Since his daughter Kōki debuted as a model in May, Kimura Takuya has been privately revealed that he has feelings for the 15-year-old My youngest daughter is opposed to entering the entertainment industry. For this reason, Kimura Takuya explained in front of the camera that all he could do about his daughter\’s choice was to \”support her well behind the scenes.\” Kimura said: \”She does what she wants to do, and I can only support her from behind. I can never teach her \’this or that\’. I will always pay attention to her while she continues.\” He said that when he saw Guangxi debuting for a magazine cover, he silently observed his beloved daughter\’s reaction: \”After looking at it for a while, I found that she was the one who didn\’t think it was a big deal. I think it doesn\’t matter.\” When the host When asked whether his daughter was unexpectedly suitable for the entertainment industry, Kimura Takuya responded: \”It\’s not about compatibility, it\’s just that our (parents) don\’t seem to need to worry.\” His attitude towards his daughter is \”whether it\’s a parent-child relationship or a senior-generation relationship. , As long as my daughter wants to be independent, I will support her.\” Looking at Kimura\’s attitude towards her daughter, is it particularly emotional? Unconditionally supporting children\’s decisions is what children need most when growing up, but it is also the hardest thing for parents to do. Parents often think that their children don’t understand or know anything, because they have suffered a lot, fallen into many pitfalls, and have rich experience and life experience, so they often can’t help but teach their children that they should be like this. That way, plan for your child’s life. \”I have crossed more bridges than you have walked.\” \”I am right, you are wrong.\” \”You don\’t understand anything, and your choices will take detours, so I will help you choose the right one that saves effort. That\’s the way!\” For these reasons, many parents choose to be authoritarian when it comes to their children, from eating and sleeping to working, marrying, and having children. Parents want their children to follow their own ideas. Some parents even think that \”listen to me, I\’m doing it for your own good\” means \”unconditional support\”! Bingbing is a 10-month-old baby. Bingbing’s mother said that Bingbing’s physical condition is not good and she often vomits milk. When she was young, she only squirted milk. Now she has started to eat complementary food. Sometimes she even squirts milk out together with food. Very scary. Bingbing\’s mother took Bingbing for various examinations and tried many methods, but with little success. One day Bingbing\’s mother invited me to her home, and I finally understood the reason why Bingbing was vomiting milk. When I went to her house, Bingbing was eating fruit puree. It could be seen that Bingbing\’s mother carefully prepared it. Bingbing was very happy at first. After eating less than half of the bowl, she slowed down and held it in her mouth, unable to stop eating. swallow. But my mother didn\’t give up and continued to feed her a bowl of fruit puree, back and forth for half an hour, until the fruit puree turned black and completely oxidized. After the puree was taken away, it didn’t take long for Bingbing’s mother to tell me that she was going to prepare lunch for the baby. Not long after, a bowl of vegetable and meat noodle with full color, flavor and flavor was ready. Bingbing’s mother skillfully placed the noodle pot in cold water to help cool it down. When the temperature was neither cold nor hot, just around 40 degrees, she took it out and fed it to Bingbing. Bingbing\’s attitudeJust like eating pureed fruit, after taking three or four bites seriously, I started to look around and started playing with the noodles. Take one bite, play for 5 minutes, take another bite… After more than half an hour, there is only a big bowl of noodles left. Mom looked at the noodles, then at Bingbing, and said, \”Hey, I\’m really worried about this baby. It\’s like this every time I eat.\” It felt like the noodles had just been taken away, and not long after, Bingbing\’s mother took another one. The big can of milk came out and he told Bingbing that he would go to bed soon and let him drink milk first. I asked doubtfully, Bingbing had just eaten so much, could she drink such a large can of milk? Bingbing’s mother answered me that it was already bad for Bingbing to eat complementary foods and fruit puree. If she didn’t drink milk on time, it would be even harder for her to reach the height and weight standards. Bingbing drank milk faster than he ate. Gudugudu drank most of the bottle of milk easily. Then, he looked around while drinking milk slowly. But Bingbing\’s mother obviously had her own way of dealing with Bingbing. She picked up Bingbing, put it in her arms, patted her gently until Bingbing burped, then put her down and let him continue to drink the rest of the milk. This was repeated over and over again. , in about 20 minutes, a 240 ml bottle of milk was drank by Bingbing. Mom picked up Bingbing and burped him again. Bingbing was already tired. When his mother burped him, he closed his eyes and gradually fell asleep. Suddenly, milk spurted out from his mouth like a fountain, and the puree and undigested noodles in front of him were spit out together… I asked Bingbing\’s mother why she didn\’t wait until Bingbing showed signs of hunger before letting him eat. Why should I insist on feeding Bingbing when she can no longer eat anything? Bingbing’s mother said that Bingbing was so young, how could she know when she was hungry or full? If she doesn\’t chase after him, Bingbing won\’t eat well. She does this in order to let Bingbing eat well and grow strong. Everything she does is for the good of her child! Many parents are like this. From the time the child is born, they feed their children according to their own will. The children must eat on time, sleep on time, and defecate on time… As long as the child cannot do one thing, they will be particularly anxious and worried. In their opinion, , the child doesn’t understand anything, and his arrangements are all for the benefit of the child. But if parents don’t arrange it, will the child really not know how to be hungry, sleep, or defecate? If you can\’t let your children arrange their meals, sleep, and defecation according to their own physiological needs, what\’s the point of unconditional support? The inability to control life is difficult for children to accept. If you observe carefully, you will find that when a child is most likely to become emotional, it is when his parents oppose his opinions. As the child grows up day by day, the child will hear his inner voice, and his inner self will control his behavior. A child will be happy when he can do what he wants to do. When he is interfered with or stopped, he will protest by screaming, crying, losing his temper, etc. Many times, parents know their children’s choices and wishes, but their long-term experience allows parents to predict, because children have not experienced it and do not understand the hidden problems behind it. If they let their children do what they want, they will encounter problems. to problems and frustrations. Therefore, parents will force their children to be obedient and ask their children to do what their parents want. This is the only solutionIt is the best solution based on their experience. I don\’t deny that many parents\’ plans are indeed better. For children, they don\’t completely resist their parents\’ plans, but they resist their parents\’ attitude when they put forward their opinions. If you just give suggestions, sharing, and demonstrations, and leave the decision-making power to the children, in many cases, the children will be happy to accept it. But the plans many parents give their children are not suggestions, but control and coercion. When they return control of their lives to their children, allowing them to freely control their own thoughts and live according to their own ideas, they will feel an unprecedented sense of loss of control. This sense of loss of control makes them afraid, worried and anxious. They are afraid that their failed life will be repeated in their children. So they give their children plans and require them to implement them. If the children don\’t listen and do as they are told, they will make their own demands. \”If you continue to be so disobedient, mommy won\’t like you!\” \”If you continue to be naughty and mischievous, mommy will give you away!\” \”If you don\’t study hard, mommy won\’t want you!\” This kind of love is not love. It’s about conditioning and control. Such parents accept what they want their children to be like, not what their children actually are. Under such circumstances, parents occupy the soul of their children\’s lives, causing them to gradually lose themselves as they grow. Children who have no control over their own lives can fall into long-term struggles with their parents or become timid and self-repressive. Parents are not the directors of their children\’s lives, but the audience of their children\’s lives. They return the control of life to their children. No matter whether the child is good or not, no matter whether the child meets their own expectations, they will love him and support him as always, paying attention but not Interfering, patiently guiding but not forcing control, this is unconditional support. Let children experience success or failure, pain or joy in life. Only after experiencing pain can they understand sweetness better. After experiencing the sadness of failure, can they understand the joy of success better. When children become themselves, they will have more strength and courage to face it. In the future, enjoy your life.