Learn to communicate and build a harmonious parent-child relationship

Psychologist Carl Jung said that the parent-child relationship often has the greatest impact on a child. Once there is a problem in the parent-child relationship, the resulting consequences are likely to cause trauma to the child\’s personality. In family life, parents often think that the ties of blood relationship can help them save the energy of communicating and managing emotions with their children, but in fact, the stability of the parent-child relationship is obtained through daily communication and getting along with each other. At the same time, parents who are willing to \”squat down\” to communicate with their children are more likely to receive positive feedback from their children and have a stable parent-child relationship. Bao\’s mother, Helan, accidentally sprained her foot. Because the condition was serious, she had to sit in a wheelchair for a while after the doctor dealt with it. She thought this period of time would be difficult, but surprisingly, she turned out to be a \”blessing in disguise\” and the originally tense parent-child relationship subtly improved. On the first day of sitting in a wheelchair, Helan, who had limited mobility, no longer pointed arrogantly at his son\’s nose and scolded him for messing up the room. Even because of the pain in her feet, her tone became softer when speaking to her son. She thought that her son would take advantage of her unwellness and act like a monster, but what Helan didn\’t expect was that her son was more willing to \”talk to\” her than usual. In the first week of being in a wheelchair, she relied on her husband and son to take care of her. She changed from her usual strong-willed attitude, and there were different voices in the house where she usually made the decisions alone. Helan looked at her son who was discussing with his father how to make pig\’s feet soup for her, and the harsh words in his mouth could no longer be uttered. In the first month of sitting in a wheelchair, Helan found that it was really tiring to talk to others with her head raised. Without the condescending perspective, she began to sympathize with her son. She couldn\’t help but shake her head when she thought of every time she looked down at her son and lectured her on a series of truths. Top 10 Bestseller List Li Zhongying\’s Comprehensive Skills on Parent-Child Relationship e-book Finally, Helan\’s feet healed and she no longer had to sit in a wheelchair, but she developed the habit of squatting to talk to her children. She said, \”When my children and I were eye-level, I truly realized what respect and equality are.\” In fact, Helan\’s change did start to work, because she found that her son spoke to her more. When he got up, the little guy had a more relaxed look on his face. Parents who are willing to \”squat down\” and talk to their children, what do they do? The \”SOLER principle\” communication method mentioned in positive psychology mentions that when parents communicate with their children, if they can keep their upper body close to each other, this will make the children feel very cordial and sincere. In this kind of relationship, children are more likely to behave like confiding. For children in the younger age group who are shorter in height, it is better for parents to squat down. So purely from the perspective of communication posture, parents who are willing to \”squat down\” are indeed more likely to break the communication barriers between children and adults. In addition to \”squatting down\” in communication postures, parents must put down their superior parental posture and try to treat their children as family members who have the same right to express themselves as themselves. Parents need to \”squat down\” in their communication mentality and let go of being limited to themselves.I recognized my self-righteousness and let go of my stubbornness in the authority of my parents. In addition, in parent-child communication, the \”squatting down\” action should also be reflected in communication patience. Only communication expressed by parents is one-way, and communication that allows children to participate and express bravely is meaningful two-way communication. When parents do not leave in a hurry, but squat down patiently and listen to their children, this undoubtedly gives their children the opportunity to open up about themselves. When parents are willing to \”squat down\” to talk to their children, it means a success in family education. In fact, parents who are willing to \”squat down\” will not lose face in front of their children, but will be more conducive to harvesting their children. For parents\’ trust, this is more conducive to the establishment of parental authority. Professor Li Meijin emphasized that parents should plant a sense of awe in their children\’s psychology, so that they will be convinced of adults\’ discipline. But awe is not established through intimidation and threats from adults. Respect and admiration from the heart are the cornerstone of awe. Parents who are willing to \”squat down\” are usually more likely to create a harmonious family atmosphere. As Girard said, when a person thinks that other people\’s feelings are equally important as his own feelings, then his relationship with the other person will be better. The atmosphere will be relaxed and harmonious. When family relationships can be built on equality and parents can have stronger empathy for their children, the family atmosphere will naturally speak for itself. Donald Winnicott said that when beneficial relationships are established, unfavorable relationships are avoided. For children, a beneficial relationship from their parents is unconditional love and acceptance. And when parents are willing to squat down, what the children feel is love and acceptance. When family education can reach the height of love and acceptance, I believe that any educational problems will be solved. In parent-child communication, it is best for parents to avoid these \”minefields\”. Minefield 1: Not being able to speak properly. In many families, parents love their children beyond measure, but they choose to express themselves in daily communication. Sexual neglect, verbal harm and cold violence to children. He obviously wanted to do the best for the children, but was afraid that they would take more detours, but when the last words came to his lips, he turned them into a blow and ridicule. \”Speak well when you have something to say\” is the most basic skill that parents should have in parent-child communication. Otherwise, those \”love and responsibility\” that are spoken and unintentional will turn into meanness, ridicule, and hurt, which will deeply affect the parent-child relationship. In the middle of the relationship. Minefield 2: Over-reliance on perfectionism In \”Positive Discipline\”, Jane Nelson believes that the process of children making mistakes is part of their growth. When children make mistakes, what they need more is parents who become psychological counselors. When parents pursue perfectionism excessively, they lose the ability to communicate calmly with their children. They begin with criticism and accusation of love and end up with resentment. Minefield 3: Refusal to hear children’s rebuttals Chinese parents always have an unavoidable desire for control, which prevents them from listening to their children’s rebuttals humbly. In fact, children are not wrong. The world in their eyes exudes fantasy and brilliance that is completely different from the adult world. Parents who are only willing to preach but not willing to listen to rebuttal cannot understand and understandThe principles of children’s world. Shigeki Tanaka mentioned in his book \”Language to Make Children Happy\” that parents should change their educational goals from cultivating excellent children to looking forward to their children\’s next stage of growth. If parents cannot be the one who takes the initiative to change, how can they have the right to ask their children to continue to accommodate or make changes first?