Learning to reject your children is a compulsory course for parents

I took my kids out to eat, and there was a father and daughter sitting at the next table. The little girl looks four or five years old and is very cute. They had also just arrived and were ordering food. Dad asked: \”What are you eating?\” The little girl flipped through the colorful and beautifully made menu and pointed: \”This, this, and this, this. Another glass of orange juice.\” Although I couldn\’t see what the little girl ordered, Judging by the few \”thiss\”, it must be a lot, and one adult and one child can\’t finish it. Sure enough, I heard my father say: \”You ordered too much and can\’t finish it. Besides, you have already ordered corn juice, so you can\’t order orange juice.\” The little girl pouted and said, \”Just order this much. I want it.\” Drink corn juice as well as orange juice.\” Dad continued to persuade patiently: \”If you can\’t finish it, it will be a waste. Besides, it\’s cold now and the orange juice is cold, so don\’t want it.\” After saying this, he called the waiter and pointed. The menu said: \”Please serve these two dishes, plus a glass of corn juice.\” The little girl raised her voice angrily: \”I want to drink orange juice, I want to drink orange juice!\” Dad still said in a calm voice: \”If you decide Come eat with me here, just these two dishes, plus a glass of corn juice; if you don’t want to eat here, let’s leave now.” After saying that, Dad made a gesture of getting up and leaving. The little girl muttered: \”Okay.\” During the whole meal, the little girl kept saying some interesting and boring things to her father. Her father sometimes talked and sometimes smiled, and it seemed that there was no unpleasantness at all when ordering food. I suddenly felt a little admiration for this father, who not only gave his children the right to choose, respected their preferences, but also rejected his children\’s \”unreasonable requests\” so rationally, simply and tenderly. Let your children understand that they should not be too willful in spending their parents’ money; even if it is their own family’s money, they should not waste it. Nowadays, most parents, including myself, have lived through an era of relative material scarcity, and are well aware that material scarcity will have a profound impact on a person\’s life. Coupled with the famous advertising slogan: \”No matter how poor we are, we cannot afford education; no matter how miserable we are, we cannot suffer for our children.\” When we have children and are rich in material resources, we wish we could give our children all the best materials in the world. In addition to the instinctive love for children, there are also unmet needs in our childhood. Even sometimes we can’t tell whether we are satisfying our children or ourselves who were lacking in childhood. For example, everyone knows that the main function of clothes is to keep warm, especially for young children. As long as they are pure cotton, comfortable and simple, such clothes are not worth much. However, every time I go to a shopping mall, I can\’t help but look at the children\’s clothing counters again and again. Even if the price is eye-catching, I don\’t hesitate to take out my mobile phone, scan it, and the payment is successful. When I went to the women\’s clothing section, I glanced at it and left in a hurry because \”the clothes in the mall are too expensive and not worth the price.\” What does the child know? As long as it\’s comfortable, what\’s the difference between clothes worth 80 yuan and clothes worth 800 yuan? It\’s nothing more than the parents who have suffered suffering implying that \”no matter how hard it is, they can\’t hurt their children.\” Children, after all, are children. He only knew what he wanted, but he didn\’t know what he needed. If parents are blindly satisfied and do not understand or cannot bear to refuse, they are supporting their children.desire. Is it wrong to have big desires? of course not. Desire is the driving force for progress and the source of giving. Only with desire can individuals develop. However, when the satisfaction of desires comes from the efforts of parents, rather than the reflection of one\’s own abilities. Once parents cannot satisfy their own desires, they will either be full of resentment towards their parents, or suffer from the pain of mismatch between abilities and desires. This is not the outcome parents want. As the saying goes, \”Success comes from diligence and frugality, failure comes from extravagance. Stop extravagance from a young age.\” When children are young, parents must learn to reject their children\’s unreasonable demands. In our family, there is a house rule. If you want to eat something, you can tell it in advance. As long as it is a reasonable demand, try to satisfy it. The so-called reasonable demand means that you can choose your favorite rice and dishes among the ones you often eat. If you don\’t tell me, you can eat whatever you want, and no requests are allowed. When my son was young, he would also be very naughty. He would eat rice after making pancakes, and drink porridge after cooking noodles. I remember that for a while, whenever he made a request, I would carry it out. As a result, not only did I fail to win my child\’s gratitude, but I often aroused his dissatisfaction because it was impossible for me to \”act according to his will at all times.\” Later, our family established a family rule: either eat whatever is available, or make it yourself. At first, my son would yell during meals, \”I don\’t want to eat this, I want to eat that.\” While we were eating our own, we said, it doesn\’t matter, you don\’t have to eat it, or you can make it yourself. After several times in a row, he now enjoys everything he eats. Moreover, on weekends, I would get up early to fry eggs for the whole family. Because fried eggs are his favorite. Psychology expert Mr. Yang Fengchi also mentioned one thing about his rejection of his daughter when he was a guest in \”Psychological Interview\”. He said: \”I cooked for my daughter. She was very young at that time. She had just entered elementary school. My wife was on a business trip, and I It takes a lot of effort for this person to cook a meal, and it’s a hot day. When the meal was served, my daughter pouted and refused to eat.” I said, “Why aren’t you hungry?” My daughter said, “I want to eat McDonald’s.” \”Dad cooked for you.\” \”I don\’t want to eat the food cooked by dad, I just want to eat McDonald\’s.\” I said: \”No.\” She said: \”Why? Doesn\’t dad have money?\” I said: \” Dad is rich, dad is not short of money, but it is what dad earns. You must be willing to eat McDonald\’s. In the future, when you make money, you can buy a sack of McDonald\’s and eat it every day, and dad will have no objection.\” When children are young, they cannot distinguish between needs and desires. The difference is that parents must learn to reject his desires while satisfying his needs. Let your children understand that your parents love you, but they are not your supermarket and cash machine. Everything you want can be achieved through your own efforts, there is no other way.