Lessons on being the best parent: Don’t suck your children’s energy

In the book \”Juvenile Depression\”, I read the story of a girl named Xiao Gao. When she was 5 years old, after her father was forced to lay off her job, her mother spent almost all her time outside of work. Watch her study and ask her to read, write, and draw. Once she couldn\’t remember the multiplication table, her mother suddenly lost control and beat her in front of the teaching building, forcing her to memorize it until she could memorize it. My father had a bumpy road to starting a business, and the family had no income for a time. My mother vented her anxiety and anger on her. He beat her at every turn until her face was bruised and swollen, insulted her verbally, and even spit in her face. In this way, after suffering \”emotional violence\” from her mother for a long time, her mood became worse and worse: anxiety, irritability, headaches and insomnia, suicidal tendencies, and was diagnosed as \”severe depression.\” She was originally excellent in studies, well-behaved and sensible, but due to her mother\’s loss of control, she stepped towards self-destruction. Seeing this story reminds me of what psychologist Li Xue said: Some parents cleanse their souls by sucking the energy of their children. Because I was trapped by negative energy and unable to ignite hope in life, I forcibly transferred my anger, anxiety, fear, and grievances to my children. Only by forcefully putting the children into the same situation as themselves can they feel comfortable, released, and balanced. For them, children are the source of their own energy. They suppress their children and scold them to relieve their inner uneasiness and fear. However, they ignore that once the child\’s energy is absorbed, it will no longer be able to radiate the vitality it deserves. When parenting expert Qian Zhiliang was teaching in primary school, there was a strange little girl in his class. He always looks preoccupied in class and doesn\’t play with others after class. One day after school, he saw the little girl sitting alone in the classroom, so he went to care about her. Only then did we learn that the girl didn’t want to go home at all, let alone stay with her parents. Because as soon as she came home, her parents would either quarrel or sigh in front of her, saying that she was tired and the family had no money… The girl heard this too much, and she instinctively felt disgusted and disgusted. However, the pressure and sadness in her heart were unknown to her parents, and she could only bear it all silently. Not everyone knows what to say and how to treat their children well after becoming a parent. There are always some parents who have immature minds like children, willful behavior, unbridled speech, and completely ignore that the children in front of them are more sensitive and fragile than themselves, and need more protection and care. In their inner world full of violence, innocent children become \”life-saving straws\”, using their weak bodies to support their heavy emotional pressure. Psychologist Professor Chen Mo once came into contact with a case of a college student. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! The boy is 1.8 meters tall and very handsome, but his spirit has been depressed for a long time. He is not sunny at all and looks very depressed. After asking about his family situation, he learned that the boy\’s parents divorced when he was young, and since then he has become his mother\’s only emotional support. His mother asked him to tell everything and not to hide anything, otherwise she would morally kidnap him with negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and anger. From the age of 2 to 20, the boy experienced a life of \”mental torture\” for 18 years, and was eventually tortured by his mother.Grinding to the point of suffocation. Psychological research shows that children who live in an environment full of hostility and negative energy for a long time are more likely to withdraw, feel helpless, lose control, and attack themselves. Especially when parents let their out-of-control behavior continue to attack their children and suck their energy, they actually create an environment dominated by fear. Children spend a lot of time and energy fighting negative influences from the outside world, and it is difficult for them to have extra energy to grow healthily. When his psychological energy is exhausted by his parents\’ complaints, dissatisfaction, and suppression, it\’s like the body loses its immunity protection, and various psychological diseases follow. There is a girl in \”Gold Medal Mediation\” who was diagnosed with severe depression when she was in college and had to drop out and go home. At first, her parents couldn\’t understand why she got sick despite being so good. It must be something wrong with her. But under the guidance of a psychiatrist and on-site guests, the truth about the girl\’s illness emerged: It turns out that since childhood, girls have been beaten by their parents at every turn. Mom is usually busy with work and has no time to care about her, but when she is under great pressure, she will vent all her bad emotions on her. As for my father, whenever he lost money in the stock market or felt that she was disobedient, he would pick up a coat hanger and beat her, deny her thoughts and ideas, and transfer the unsatisfactory life to her without explaining the reasons. In this way, the girl lived in fear and depression all day long. Until she ran away from her family in college, her psychological problems suddenly broke out. Whether a child has vitality or not depends on the parents. Parents complain, deny and attack all day long. It is impossible for children to bloom bright flowers in such chaotic soil. Parents regard their home as an emotional \”garbage dump\”, and their children will only live in the \”garbage dump\” and cannot be happy and free. Even if there are many unsatisfactory things in life, as a parent, you should never \”suck\” your children\’s energy for the sake of your children. Every child is an extremely sensitive little creature and a receiver of parents\’ energy. In order for him to grow up better and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life, his parents should pass on enough positive energy and pave the way for his future. Use encouragement instead of discouragement, and affirmation instead of denial. Education expert Yin Dengan will do two things to his children every day when they are studying in school: the first thing is to pat the children on the shoulders and touch their heads; the second thing is to say to them, \”You are awesome. You are better than dad.\” With his encouragement and affirmation, both children were motivated to study hard, and his son was admitted to the prestigious University of Edinburgh. No matter how weak a child is, he or she needs positive verbal encouragement from his or her parents. The love of his parents will make him feel valuable, which is the source of his positive energy. Be self-aware and manage negative emotions. A friend of mine had a habit of complaining for a period of time because of high work pressure and many worries. After discovering that her son didn\’t like to get close to her, she bought a \”no-complaint bracelet\”. As soon as you realize you are complaining, switch the bracelet to the other hand and keep wearing the bracelet on the same hand for 21 days. In this way, my friend slowly got rid of the bad habit of venting negative emotions. Parents must learn to be self-aware. What is History? The complete collection of 4 volumes electronic version.epub. Especially when you have a lot of negative emotions accumulated in your heart, you must use the correct words.Ways to resolve it, such as doing something you like to distract your attention, or talking to mature people around you to adjust the state. Always remind yourself not to say everything to your children. Children are still young and cannot bear the weight of their parents\’ emotions. Empower yourself and grow with your children. There is a sentence in \”Lan Hai on Growth\” that says: \”The growth of children is the biggest challenge for each of us adults – it challenges not only our patience, but also our vision.\” Especially In today\’s environment, the information children receive and the things they see change with each passing day. Parents can no longer treat and teach their children the way they used to. Parenting means raising oneself. Restore yourself to a seed, learn and grow again. Taking steps towards learning is to a large extent sending a signal: My child, your parents are willing to restart your learning journey in order to take better care of you. And this thing itself will bring great power to the child. Every parent hopes that their children will thrive. No matter how far his energy supports him, he cannot do without the spiritual support of his parents. From today on, for the sake of your children, please nourish yourself. Only when parents mature and grow can children love themselves more and live out the value and hope of life. Give it a thumbs up and encourage parents.