Li Meijin: Adolescent children “become more rebellious the more they are controlled.” If parents master the four-step process, their children will become better and better.

A mother discussed a question with me: \”What should we do if adolescent children become more rebellious with more supervision?\” Li Hua\’s son Xiaojie entered adolescence and began to show obvious rebellious behavior. Once, she asked her son to complete his homework on time, but Xiaojie was addicted to video games. Not only did he not complete it on time, he also ignored her reminder. Li Hua tried to criticize him in a harsh tone, but Xiaojie became even more resistant and even had a fierce quarrel with her. This made Mrs. Li feel very helpless and anxious. She realized that she needed to change her education methods and find more effective communication methods. When children are young, no matter how rebellious they are, parents seem to have a way of \”controlling\” them. However, when children gradually approach the threshold of adolescence, everything seems to be different. So, how parents should discipline and guide their children through this stage smoothly has become a difficult problem for many parents. Adolescence is an extremely critical stage in children\’s growth. They begin to form their own personalities and values, and they also face many psychological and physical challenges. The four-step formula proposed by education expert Professor Li Meijin provides parents with an effective guidance framework to help children grow up healthily during adolescence and become better and better people. 1. Start with life to change adolescent children. Their behaviors and habits are largely affected by daily life. Parents should start from every aspect of life to guide their children to develop good living habits. The psychological and physiological changes in adolescent children, accompanied by the awakening of self-awareness, make them more likely to have their own opinions. Parents should learn to let their children do things in their children\’s lives independently, reduce direct intervention, and provide appropriate guidance. \”Education is not about indoctrination, but about igniting a flame.\” Xiaolin\’s parents noticed that he often stayed up late playing with his mobile phone, causing him to lose concentration in class the next day. Instead of simply banning him from using his cell phone, they worked with Xiaolin to develop a reasonable schedule and encouraged him to participate in family activities, such as walking together or doing housework. In this way, Xiao Lin gradually developed the habit of going to bed early and getting up early, and his mental state also improved. 2. Understand children’s inner demands. Adolescent children’s inner world is rich and complex, and they long to be understood and respected. Parents need to listen patiently and understand their children\’s real thoughts and needs. According to behavioral psychology, there are hidden needs behind children\’s behavior. When adolescent children are rebellious, the most important thing is to get into the child\’s heart during communication and listen to the child\’s needs in order to solve the problem in a targeted manner. \”Listening is the bridge of understanding.\” Xiaohua\’s grades have recently declined and she is depressed. His parents did not blame him immediately, but chose an appropriate moment to have an in-depth conversation with him. Through communication, they learned that Xiaohua was confused about a certain subject and needed extra help. So, they helped Xiaohua find a tutor, and Xiaohua\’s grades quickly improved. 3. Let children learn to take responsibility. Responsibility is an important quality that must be cultivated in children as they grow. Parents should create opportunities for children to learn to take responsibility in a safe environment. The awakening of adolescent children\’s sense of autonomy makes them want to declare their growth and independence, and their parents change everything they did before.The trusteeship education method gives children the opportunity to do things independently and learn to take responsibility, and also cultivates children\’s sense of responsibility. \”Responsibility is the nutrient for growth.\” Xiao Ming\’s parents asked him to take care of the family pets. At first, Xiao Ming felt a lot of pressure, but with the encouragement and guidance of his parents, he learned how to feed, clean and accompany pets. This process not only taught Xiao Ming a sense of responsibility, but also enhanced his self-confidence. 4. Educate in a low voice. Adolescent children often resent harsh criticism and high-pressure management. Parents should adopt a more gentle and rational education method and use low-pitched education to guide their children. It is easier to solve problems at home by being gentle and tolerant than by yelling. Being emotionally calm makes it easier for children to understand their hearts, and it is also easier for children to enter a state of communication. \”Gentle words can open a closed heart.\” Xiaoli\’s parents found that she had slacked off in her studies, but instead of loudly reprimanding her, they chose a calm moment to discuss the issue with her in a calm tone. They expressed their trust and expectations for Xiaoli, and together they formulated a plan to improve learning efficiency. Xiaoli feels the understanding and support of her parents, and her learning attitude has improved significantly. The rebellion of adolescent children is not terrible. What is terrible is parents’ blind discipline, or even beating and scolding, which is counterproductive. By studying and practicing the four steps of education expert Professor Li Meijin, parents can help their children go through adolescence smoothly and develop better qualities. Remember, adolescence is a special stage of children\’s growth. During this process, it is easy for children to become rebellious with \”the more they control, the more they rebel\”, but parents should not be anxious. Parents need to learn to actively adjust their mentality, adapt and find new ways to get along with their children, and help their children go through adolescence peacefully and smoothly.